When a family is spread across cities, a single gathering can feel like an impossible compromise. Someone is recovering from surgery. Someone can’t afford a last-minute flight. Someone is stationed overseas. And sometimes, it’s not even about logistics—some people simply need to grieve close to home, in the place where the loss feels most real. A multi-location memorial can be a way of saying, “We will not make distance decide who gets to show up.”
Many families are also navigating these choices in a moment when cremation is increasingly common. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate was projected at 61.9% for 2024, with continued growth projected over the long term. That shift changes the rhythm of memorial planning: the service does not have to happen immediately, and families have more flexibility to create gatherings that fit real life, including two (or more) communities honoring the same person at the same time. The Cremation Association of North America reports a similar pattern, listing a 2024 U.S. cremation rate of 61.8% and continued projections upward.
What follows is a practical, compassionate way to plan a simultaneous memorial—one that respects time zones, technology, and the tender reality that grief can make simple decisions feel heavy. Along the way, we’ll talk about how keepsakes like cremation urns, keepsake urns, small cremation urns, and cremation jewelry can help two gatherings feel connected rather than separate.
Start With the “One Moment” Everyone Shares
The heart of a multi-location memorial is not the livestream or the schedule. It’s the shared moment you design on purpose. That moment might be a reading that happens in both rooms at once, a song played simultaneously, a candle lighting, a slideshow, or a short, spoken tribute delivered by two different people in two different cities. When families tell us what made their multi-location memorial feel “real,” they almost always describe one synchronized moment when everyone could pause together and feel the same emotional beat.
Begin your planning by naming that moment. If you can articulate it in one sentence—“At 2:15 p.m. Eastern / 11:15 a.m. Pacific, we will read Dad’s letter and light candles”—you’ve created an anchor. Everything else becomes easier to coordinate because it has a clear purpose.
This is also where choices about remains and memorial items can gently support your plan. If your family is using cremation urns for ashes, you may decide that the primary urn stays with the host location while the second location displays a framed photo, flowers, and a smaller memorial item. Some families choose a shared display using keepsake urns so each location has a physical symbol of presence—especially when the loved one is being honored in the city where they lived and the city where they were born.
Scheduling Across Time Zones Without Making Anyone Feel Left Out
Time zones can turn a thoughtful plan into an accidental hurt if you’re not careful. A 6:00 p.m. service time may feel respectful and convenient for one city and like a workday scramble for another. Rather than aiming for the “perfect” time, aim for a time that is fair—and communicate the logic with kindness. Families are often more comfortable with an imperfect time if they understand you considered everyone.
One approach is to treat the memorial like a live broadcast: pick a primary time zone and write everything in two time formats in the program, so no one is doing mental math while grieving. Another approach is to design the simultaneous moment to be short—say, a 20-minute unified program—and then allow each city to continue with local visiting, food, and storytelling on its own schedule. This is especially helpful when your gatherings are in very different cultures or climates, or when one city needs a quiet, faith-based ceremony while the other feels better as a casual celebration of life.
If you’re in the early stages of funeral planning and you’re unsure what can be flexible, Funeral.com’s guide on how to plan a funeral can help you separate what must be decided quickly from what can wait. Many multi-location memorials become possible simply because the family gives themselves permission to slow down.
A Unified Program That Still Feels Human
It’s tempting to over-produce a multi-location memorial, especially if one gathering is in a church and the other is in a backyard. But the goal is connection, not perfection. A unified program can be as simple as a shared opening welcome, a brief story, a reading, and a closing moment of remembrance. The more you try to synchronize every detail, the more fragile the plan becomes.
To keep the tone consistent, choose a single person (or small team) to write the program and share it with both host locations. The words don’t need to be fancy; they need to sound like your family. If you include printed programs, keep them identical across cities. If you are using slides, use the same deck. If you have music, decide whether it will be played locally in both places or streamed from one location.
This is also where memorial keepsakes can become part of the story. When someone says, “We’ll be sharing a portion of the ashes into keepsakes after today,” it can ease the unspoken worry of relatives who fear that only one city “gets” the loved one. If your family is considering options, browsing Funeral.com’s cremation urns for ashes collection can help you see what “primary urn” might look like, while the keepsake urns collection shows options designed specifically for sharing.
Livestreaming and Two-Way Connection
Livestreaming can be a gift when it’s treated as a bridge, not the main event. In fact, technology has become a common part of modern memorials: the National Funeral Directors Association noted that more than half of NFDA-member firms offer livestreaming options. That matters for multi-location memorials because it means you can often ask a funeral home or venue what they already provide before you reinvent the wheel.
If both cities have gatherings, think carefully about whether you want one-way streaming (one location broadcasts to the other) or a two-way connection (both locations can see each other). One-way is simpler and more reliable. Two-way can feel more intimate—especially for a shared candle lighting—but it requires stronger internet, better audio, and someone assigned to manage it.
Plan for sound before you plan for video. People will forgive a less-than-perfect camera angle; they will not forgive not being able to hear the eulogy. If you are coordinating volunteers, choose someone who is calm under pressure to manage audio levels and to mute/unmute at the right times.
And if you are planning to ship items between cities—printed programs, photos, or a small memorial display—know that shipping cremated remains is a special category. The U.S. Postal Service outlines packaging and service requirements in Publication 139, and Funeral.com has a practical guide to mailing cremated remains safely if your plan involves sending ashes to an artist, a family member, or a second location for a later ceremony.
Keepsakes That Connect Two Gatherings
When you plan a memorial in multiple cities, you are planning for two audiences at once: the people who are in the room and the people who wish they were. Keepsakes matter because they create continuity. They also help resolve a very practical question families often avoid saying out loud: “Where will the ashes be?”
If your loved one was cremated, you may be choosing a primary urn, deciding whether you are keeping ashes at home, or planning a future scattering or burial. Funeral.com’s guide on keeping ashes at home can help you think through placement, safety, visitors, children, and what “respectful” looks like in everyday life. For many families, the best answer is not a single answer. It’s a combination: one main urn, plus a few smaller keepsakes for close relatives.
That is where small cremation urns and keepsake urns can be especially meaningful in a multi-location memorial. A small urn can be displayed at the second location without feeling like a “lesser” memorial. It’s simply a different form of presence. Funeral.com’s small cremation urns collection is designed for partial remains and smaller memorial spaces, while the keepsake urns collection is typically even more compact—often chosen when several family members want their own tribute.
Some families prefer memorial jewelry because it is discreet, portable, and emotionally steadying—especially for people traveling between gatherings. Cremation jewelry can be a bridge between a public service and private grief. Funeral.com’s cremation jewelry collection includes pieces designed to hold a small portion of ashes, and the cremation necklaces collection is a good starting point if you know the recipient prefers a necklace over a bracelet or charm. If you want the practical details first—how pieces are filled, sealed, and worn—Funeral.com’s cremation jewelry 101 is a gentle, clear guide.
And because grief is not limited to human loss, multi-location memorial planning sometimes includes pets, too—especially when a pet was part of the home and the family story. If you are honoring a companion animal, pet urns can be part of a shared remembrance, and families often choose a keepsake size so multiple people can hold a small portion. Funeral.com’s pet cremation urns collection includes classic and personalized options, while pet figurine cremation urns can feel especially fitting when you want the memorial to reflect a pet’s personality. For families who want to share, pet urns for ashes in keepsake sizes are designed for that exact purpose. If you’d rather read first and decide later, Funeral.com’s pet urns for ashes guide walks through size, materials, and personalization without rushing you.
Building a Plan for “What Happens Next”
Multi-location memorials are often the beginning of a longer story. The service may happen in two cities today, but a scattering, burial, or private family moment may come later. That is normal. In fact, many families feel relief when they realize they do not have to solve every decision immediately—especially the question of what to do with ashes.
When your family is ready, Funeral.com’s guide on what to do with ashes offers options that range from keeping the urn at home to sharing keepsakes, jewelry, scattering, and memorial projects. Reading that kind of overview can help relatives in different cities feel like they’re part of the same conversation, even if they are not in the same room.
If your family is considering water burial or a burial at sea, it’s worth grounding the plan in accurate requirements. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency explains federal rules under the burial-at-sea general permit, including distance-from-shore requirements. Funeral.com’s article on water burial translates “three nautical miles” into what it actually means for families trying to plan a dignified moment, especially when some relatives will be watching from another city.
Cost is also part of the reality, and it’s not cold to say so—it’s protective. People often search how much does cremation cost because they are trying to make decisions that won’t create financial strain on top of grief. Funeral.com’s guide to how much does cremation cost explains what’s included, what changes the total, and how items like urns and jewelry fit into the overall budget. If you’re planning a memorial long-distance, getting clear on costs early can also help you decide what should be shipped, what should be purchased locally, and what can be created digitally.
How to Keep It Gentle for the People Doing the Work
Multi-location memorials can be beautiful, but they can also ask a lot of the people organizing them. If you are the coordinator, you may feel like you are managing a small production while your own heart is still trying to catch up. The most compassionate thing you can do for yourself is to assign roles. Not a big committee—just a few clear responsibilities so you are not holding everything alone.
- One person in each city who “owns the room” and can make real-time decisions.
- One person who manages technology (sound, camera, links, muting).
- One person who manages the program (printing, slides, readings, sequence).
- One person who handles keepsakes (photos, display table, urn or jewelry coordination).
Even this short division can prevent the most common problem in long-distance memorial planning: the moment when something goes wrong and everyone looks at the grieving organizer as if they are the IT department.
And if you are planning ahead—because you want your family to have options—Funeral.com’s preplanning guide on funeral planning can help you document wishes in a way that reduces confusion later. Preplanning isn’t about being morbid. It’s about leaving fewer question marks behind.
When Two Cities Become One Community
A multi-location memorial is not a second-best substitute for being together. Done with care, it can be its own kind of togetherness—one that reflects a life that touched more than one place. The people in City A and City B are not attending separate events; they are participating in one remembrance with two rooms.
If you want the day to feel unified, focus on the shared moment, keep the program simple, and let keepsakes do some of the connecting work. A primary urn plus keepsake urns. A photo display plus cremation jewelry for the people who need closeness they can carry. A plan for keeping ashes at home now, and a plan for water burial later, when the family is ready.
In the end, the most meaningful memorials—single-location or multi-location—are not defined by polish. They are defined by truth: a life mattered, love gathered, and even across distance, people found a way to say goodbye together.
