Most people don’t begin funeral planning because they enjoy paperwork. They begin because they’ve seen what happens when a family has to make financial and emotional decisions quickly, under pressure, while grief is still raw. Preplanning isn’t about predicting every detail. It’s about leaving enough clarity that the people you love can act with confidence instead of guessing.
This guide explains the difference between preplanning (writing down your wishes) and prepaying (funding a plan through a contract). You’ll get a practical checklist, a cost framework, and a plain-English set of watch-outs for prepaid funeral plans and a pre-need funeral contract. Because cremation is now the majority choice, we’ll also address a question that can quietly become a family conflict later: what to do with ashes.
Why preplanning matters more now
Cremation is reshaping what families need to decide. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025, and NFDA projects it will reach 82.3% by 2045. The Cremation Association of North America reports the U.S. cremation rate was 61.8% in 2024 and projects continued growth.
Families don’t all want the same thing, either. NFDA reports that among people who prefer cremation, many would prefer their remains be kept in an urn at home, many would prefer scattering in a sentimental place, and others prefer cemetery interment or splitting ashes among relatives. If you learn how to preplan a funeral with one additional step—writing down your ashes plan—you can spare your family a lot of uncertainty later.
Preplanning vs prepaying: a roadmap versus a contract
Preplanning is documenting your wishes: burial or cremation, the kind of service you want, who should be notified, and where your documents live. The advantage is flexibility. You can revise your plan as life changes.
Prepaying means paying now for services to be delivered later, typically through a pre-need funeral contract. It can reduce immediate financial pressure on survivors, but only if the terms are clear about what is guaranteed, what can increase, and what happens if you move or cancel.
A step-by-step funeral preplanning checklist you can finish in pieces
A good funeral preplanning checklist is small enough to complete without dread. Start with disposition, the type of gathering, and who will carry the plan. Everything else can be refined over time.
- Disposition: burial, cremation, or another option, plus any faith or cultural traditions that must be respected.
- Service style: funeral with viewing, memorial later, celebration of life, private family-only, or no service.
- Decision-maker: the person responsible for carrying out your plan, and an alternate if they cannot.
- Budget: a realistic range, plus a short list of “must-haves” versus “nice-to-haves.”
- People and details: who to notify, obituary basics, music/readings, clergy/celebrant, military or fraternal honors.
- Ashes plan (if cremation): keeping ashes at home, cemetery interment, scattering, water burial, or a combination.
- Documents: gather and store your funeral planning documents where your family can find them.
If you want help turning these choices into clear writing, Funeral.com’s article on preplanning your own funeral or cremation is designed to help families create a plan that is easy to follow and easy to update.
Costs: what to expect and how to compare
Even a simple service can become expensive fast. NFDA reports that the national median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial in 2023 was $8,300 and the median cost of a funeral with viewing and cremation was $6,280, not including cemetery costs. Those figures won’t match every community, but they explain why planning ahead matters.
Families also ask, very reasonably, how much does cremation cost when they want the simplest approach. Direct cremation is typically the lowest-cost option; cremation with services includes additional facility time, staff, and merchandise. Funeral.com’s guide to how much cremation costs helps you understand common line items so you can compare apples to apples.
Pricing transparency: the Funeral Rule and the General Price List
When you compare providers, ask for pricing in writing early. Under the FTC’s Funeral Rule, consumers have the right to choose only the goods and services they want, and providers must provide required price lists and disclosures. The FTC’s resource on complying with the Funeral Rule explains that the General Price List must be offered when a provider begins discussing arrangements, goods, services, or prices, and it must be given to keep.
The GPL is where planning becomes real. It lets you separate the basic services fee from optional services, merchandise, and cash advance items paid to third parties. For a consumer-friendly overview of what to compare, the FTC also publishes a funeral costs and pricing checklist.
Questions to ask before you sign anything
- Can you provide the GPL in writing and confirm the effective date?
- Which items are guaranteed, and which can increase later (cash advances, third-party fees, non-guaranteed services)?
- If I move or die away from home, what is portable and what costs might my family still face?
- If I cancel, what is refundable, what is nonrefundable, and what is the timeline?
- Is the plan itemized so my family can adjust choices later without starting over?
What to watch for with prepaid plans
Some families decide prepaying is worth it, and in the right circumstances it can be. But prepaid funeral plans are financial products, and the biggest problems come from assumptions about scope, portability, and refunds.
Confirm scope first. “Prepaying for cremation” might mean only the cremation and paperwork, or it might bundle facility time, staff, transportation, and merchandise. If it isn’t itemized clearly, your family may discover later that something important was never included. Then treat portability and refunds as core issues: if you move, can the plan transfer and at full value; if you cancel, what fees apply and what is refundable.
A safer way to set money aside without locking into one provider
If you want the comfort of funding a plan but you also want flexibility, many families take a two-part approach: preplan in writing, then set aside funds in a straightforward account that your decision-maker can access, such as a dedicated savings account with a payable-on-death designation. This keeps your family free to compare providers using the GPL when the time comes. If public benefits or long-term care planning may be involved, consider getting state-specific guidance.
Memorial choices that belong in a complete plan
If cremation is part of your plan, write down the memorial approach your family should follow. Many families feel stuck between keeping ashes at home and scattering, and others want a “primary urn plus keepsakes” plan so multiple relatives can have a tangible connection. If your plan is “keep them here for now,” you can also share Funeral.com’s guide to keeping ashes at home so your family understands safe, respectful placement and how to talk about longer-term plans.
If you want a home memorial, you can point your family toward cremation urns and cremation urns for ashes. If you want compact or shareable options, note small cremation urns and keepsake urns by name. Some families also choose an artistic keepsake like the Songbird Scarlet Glass Keepsake Urn when they want something discreet and beautiful for a symbolic portion of ashes.
If your plan involves scattering or water burial, write down the locations that matter to you and the reason why, then leave flexibility on timing. Funeral.com’s guide to understanding what happens during a water burial ceremony explains the process, and how to choose a cremation urn that fits your plans helps your family match the urn to home display, burial, travel, or scattering.
Pets can be part of this conversation, too. If you want a plan for a beloved companion, Funeral.com’s pet urns, pet urns for ashes, and pet cremation urns collection covers a wide range of sizes and styles. For a tribute that looks like a sculpture, you can browse pet figurine cremation urns; for sharing, see pet keepsake cremation urns. For gentle guidance on sizing and selection, read choosing the right urn for pet ashes.
If you want something wearable included in your plan, note whether you’re comfortable with cremation jewelry or cremation necklaces as keepsakes for a spouse or child. If you want a gentle primer to leave with your instructions, Cremation Jewelry 101 explains the basics in practical, reassuring language.
A printable worksheet idea
For a simple “printable worksheet,” create a one-page document titled “My Funeral Plan” and keep it with your will or in a shared folder. Include your full legal name, date of birth, two emergency contacts, and where key documents are stored. Then add short sections for disposition, service style, budget range, provider preferences (if any), and your plan for ashes.
Sign and date it, then tell at least two people where it lives. A plan that is written down and findable is a gift your family will feel later, when they need it most.
Final thought
Preplanning is not about perfection. It is about reducing stress and protecting relationships. If you start with clear decisions, an honest budget, and a paper trail your family can follow, you will have done the most important work.
