If you’re planning a funeral while you’re exhausted, grieving, and trying to make a dozen decisions at once, the word “embalming” can land like a thunderclap. People imagine something frightening, or they worry they’ll be pressured into it, or they assume it’s required for any funeral with a casket. Most families don’t want graphic details—they just want to understand what will happen, why a funeral home might recommend it, and what their real options are.
This is a plain-language guide to what happens during embalming, written to help you feel steady and informed. Think of it as a walkthrough of the “why,” the “what,” and the “what if we don’t?”—so your choices can match your values, your timeline, and the kind of goodbye you’re trying to create.
What embalming is and what it is not
At its core, embalming is a temporary form of preservation. It’s used to slow natural changes in the body for a period of time—most often so families can have an open-casket viewing or a longer window for travel, scheduling, or ceremony. It is not a permanent preservation method, and it doesn’t stop the reality of death. What it can do, in many cases, is make a viewing more predictable and help a person look more “rested” for the hours they’ll be seen.
It’s also important to know what embalming is not. It is not automatically required by law in most situations, even if a funeral home has a policy about it. The Federal Trade Commission is clear that many funeral homes may have a policy requiring embalming for public viewing, but that embalming is not required by law in most states, and you can ask about alternatives like refrigeration.
So when you’re hearing “we usually embalm,” it helps to translate that into the real question: What are we planning to do, and what conditions make that easier or harder? That’s funeral planning in its most honest form—matching logistics to meaning.
If you want a broader overview first, Funeral.com also has a gentle explainer on What Is Embalming? Process, Safety, and When It’s Needed.
Why funeral homes recommend embalming for some services
The most common reason is simple: a viewing. Families often choose embalming for an open-casket visitation because it can help maintain a stable appearance for a set time—especially if the service is days after the death, if travel is involved, or if the family wants flexibility. Funeral.com’s guide, Embalming: What It Is, When It Helps, and When You Can Skip It, explains this clearly: embalming is typically recommended because it supports the format of a viewing, not because it’s automatically required.
Sometimes, what families really need is time—time for a sibling to fly in, time for paperwork, time for a church to schedule, time for the shock to settle enough to plan. Embalming is one tool that can help create that time. Refrigeration is another, and in some cases it may be the better fit.
If you’re trying to sort out events like wake vs visitation vs viewing, this Funeral.com article helps a lot: Wake, Viewing, Visitation, and Funeral: What Each One Means and How They’re Different.
What happens before embalming begins
Before anything starts, the funeral home identifies the person and confirms authorization. Embalming is not something that should happen casually; it’s typically an authorized service on the funeral home’s paperwork, and you can ask what you are authorizing and why.
The person is then moved into the preparation room, which is a controlled workspace designed for safety and sanitation. Funeral homes follow infection control practices and protective equipment standards for staff, and there are specific workplace safety regulations around chemicals used in embalming. For example, the OSHA formaldehyde standard applies to embalming exposures and sets requirements for protecting workers (including exposure limits and controls).
This is a good place to pause and say something families often need to hear: you’re allowed to ask about dignity and safeguards. A professional funeral home expects those questions.
The embalming process, step by step, in respectful terms
People often ask for “embalming step by step,” but what they really mean is: What are the stages, and what do they accomplish? Here’s that walkthrough, in non-graphic language.
Setting the body in a natural position
Early in the process, the embalmer gently positions the person so their features can rest naturally—hands placed, head supported, posture aligned. This is also when the embalmer may relieve stiffness (rigor) so the person can be placed comfortably. The goal is not to “pose” someone, but to restore a peaceful, familiar stillness.
Cleansing and basic sanitation
The body is carefully washed and cleansed. This step is about basic hygiene and respect, similar to how caregivers might prepare someone for dressing—just done in a professional setting, using appropriate disinfectants and protective measures.
Temporary preservation and internal disinfection
The preservation part of embalming involves replacing or treating certain bodily fluids with an embalming solution that slows natural changes for a time. The embalmer works to distribute that solution in a way that supports a stable appearance for viewing. If you’ve heard the word “arterial,” that’s the reason: one common method uses the body’s vascular pathways to distribute preservation solution.
Families don’t need the technical chemistry to make an informed decision, but it can help to know this isn’t a mystery procedure—it’s a standardized professional practice, performed for a specific purpose and timeframe.
Feature setting and presentation for viewing
When embalming is chosen for embalming for open casket viewing, a lot of the work is actually about presentation: smoothing the face into a restful look, ensuring the mouth and eyes are closed naturally, and protecting features from drying. Hair may be washed and styled, and then the person is dressed—sometimes in clothing you bring, sometimes in garments provided by the funeral home.
If there were bruises, discoloration, or visible medical effects, the embalmer may do restorative work and cosmetics to help the person look more like themselves. This is where misconceptions can creep in: some people assume cosmetics are “covering up” the truth. Many families experience it differently—as a final act of care that makes it easier to approach, touch a hand, say a goodbye, or pray without shock.
If you’re unsure whether you even want a viewing, it may help to read Wake vs Viewing vs Funeral vs Celebration of Life, which explains that a viewing is an option within a visitation, not a requirement.
Safeguards, training, and who is qualified to embalm
Families sometimes ask about “embalmer training and licensing” because they want reassurance that this is regulated work—and in most places, it is. Requirements vary by state, but in the U.S., licensure pathways commonly involve formal education, supervised experience, and examinations.
Two widely recognized organizations in that ecosystem are:
- The American Board of Funeral Service Education (ABFSE), which serves as the national accrediting agency for funeral service and mortuary science programs.
- The International Conference of Funeral Service Examining Boards, which administers the National Board Exam as part of entry-to-practice standards in many jurisdictions.
And because licensing is state-based, the NFDA maintains an overview that helps families understand that requirements differ by location.
You don’t need to memorize any of this. You just need to know it’s reasonable to ask: Who will be doing the embalming, are they licensed here, and what standards do you follow?
How long embalming lasts and what “preservation” really means
A common question is how long embalming lasts. There isn’t a single number because it depends on time, temperature, condition of the body, and the nature of the service. But the key idea is this: embalming is designed to support a viewing and related events—not to preserve someone indefinitely.
If your funeral home is planning a service days away, they’ll usually recommend a preservation method (embalming or refrigeration) that fits your timeline and your choices. You can ask what they recommend for your specific plan, rather than accepting a one-size-fits-all answer.
Embalming vs refrigeration and the option to decline
Many families are relieved to learn that can you decline embalming is often a “yes,” especially when there is no public viewing and the timeline is short. The FTC explains that if a practical need exists, refrigeration is often an acceptable alternative, and that some states have time-based rules requiring embalming or refrigeration if burial or cremation won’t occur within a certain window.
For a more detailed myth-busting guide, Funeral.com lays it out here: Is Embalming Required for a Funeral? Laws, Myths, and Alternatives Explained.
And if you’re choosing cremation and don’t want a viewing, your planning focus often shifts: instead of preparation for presentation, you’re choosing how you’ll memorialize afterward—whether that’s keeping ashes at home, burial in a cemetery, scattering, or water burial.
When cremation changes the conversation
Cremation is now the majority choice in the U.S. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the projected U.S. cremation rate for 2025 is 63.4% (with burial projected at 31.6%).
That trend matters because it widens the range of “normal” timelines. Some families cremate quickly and hold a memorial later. Others have a visitation first (with or without viewing), and then cremation. Neither is “more right.” It’s simply different planning.
If your family’s path includes cremation, you may find it comforting to browse options that match what happens next:
- For a primary memorial vessel, start with cremation urns like Funeral.com’s Cremation Urns for Ashes collection.
- If you’re sharing small portions among relatives, small cremation urns and keepsake urns can help: Small Cremation Urns for Ashes and Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes.
- If someone wants something wearable, cremation jewelry and cremation necklaces are designed for a tiny amount: Cremation Jewelry and Cremation Necklaces.
- And for families grieving an animal companion, pet urns matter just as much: Pet Urns for Ashes and Pet Cremation Jewelry.
If your family is navigating the practical side of dividing ashes, this article is particularly steady and helpful: Keepsake Urns and Sharing Urns: When Families Want to Divide Ashes.
(And if you’re quietly wondering how much does cremation cost, that’s a normal next question in funeral planning—especially when you’re deciding whether viewing, embalming, or a simpler memorial fits your budget and your heart.)
Common misconceptions that make this decision harder than it needs to be
One misconception is that embalming is “mandatory.” In reality, many families have choices—especially if there’s no public viewing and the timeline is short. The FTC encourages consumers to ask whether a funeral home offers refrigeration as an alternative when preservation is needed.
Another misconception is that embalming is “only cosmetic.” While presentation can be part of it, embalming is also about temporary sanitation and predictability for the hours a person will be present for a service—particularly in warm climates or longer delays. And a third misconception is that families must choose between “respect” and “simplicity.” Some families find deep respect in a viewing. Others find it in a quiet goodbye without embalming, followed by a memorial focused on stories and photos. Both can be dignified.
Questions to ask your funeral director if you feel unsure
If you’re feeling pressured or confused, you can ground the conversation with a few clear questions. These aren’t “gotcha” questions—they’re practical, and good funeral directors will welcome them.
- Is embalming required by law here for what we’re planning, or is it a funeral home policy?
- If we don’t want embalming, what refrigeration options do you offer, and how does that affect timing?
- Are we planning a public viewing, a visitation with a closed casket, or no viewing at all—and how does that change what you recommend?
- Who will be doing the preparation, and are they licensed in this state?
- What changes if there was an autopsy, and what can we realistically expect for viewing?
- Can you explain the costs line-by-line so we understand what is optional?
A final word for families making this call
The decision about embalming is rarely just technical. It’s emotional. It’s cultural. It’s about what you can handle, what your family expects, and what kind of goodbye will feel survivable. If an open casket would help your family accept what happened and say goodbye, embalming may support that. If a viewing would feel distressing, you can still plan a meaningful service—often without embalming—by choosing a closed casket, a private moment, or a memorial after cremation.
