How to Choose a Funeral Home: 10 Questions to Ask and Red Flags to Avoid

If you are searching how to choose a funeral home, you are probably doing it under pressure. A death has just happened (or is close), and you may feel like you have to become an expert overnight—pricing, paperwork, logistics, and family dynamics—while your heart is still catching up. The truth is you do not need to know everything. You just need a clear way to compare options, spot pressure tactics, and choose a place that feels steady, honest, and respectful.

One reason families feel overwhelmed is that the “default” has changed. In the U.S., cremation has become the majority choice, which means there are more ways to plan a service and more decisions that can happen in stages. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025 (with burial projected at 31.6%). According to the Cremation Association of North America, the U.S. cremation rate was 61.8% in 2024, with continued growth projected. Those numbers matter because they explain what many families experience: you can make the immediate decisions today and still leave room for meaningful choices later—especially when it comes to what to do with ashes, keeping ashes at home, or planning a memorial after travel and family schedules settle.

Start by separating the urgent from the important

When you call a funeral home, you are usually trying to solve two problems at once: “What needs to happen right now?” and “How do we honor them well?” Those are different questions, and a good funeral home will help you separate them instead of bundling everything into a single rushed “package.”

In the first 24–48 hours, the urgent pieces are practical: transportation, legal paperwork, and a plan for the body (burial, cremation, or donation). The important pieces are the human ones: what kind of gathering fits this person, who needs to be included, and how your family wants to carry their memory forward. If you choose cremation, you may also be thinking ahead to cremation urns, cremation jewelry, or a plan for water burial or scattering. Those choices do not have to be forced into the first phone call. In fact, many families feel relief when they realize they can decide the “how” of remembrance after the “must-do” steps are handled.

The 10 questions that quickly reveal whether a funeral home is a good fit

These are practical questions to ask a funeral director that help you compare providers without getting pulled into emotion-based upsells. You can ask them in a calm, matter-of-fact way—even if you are grieving. A professional, ethical funeral home will not flinch at clear questions.

1. Can you tell me the total range for the services I’m considering, and what’s included? Ask them to describe what the quote includes (and what it does not). If you are comparing direct cremation versus a funeral with viewing, you want a clean apples-to-apples comparison, not vague reassurance.
2. Will you provide an itemized General Price List when we meet, and can you give price information by phone now? The FTC’s Funeral Rule says you have the right to price information on the phone if you ask, and to receive a written, itemized General Price List (GPL) when you visit. If a funeral home dodges basic price questions, treat that as useful information.
3. What is your basic services fee, and what exactly does it cover? Many funeral homes have a non-declinable basic services fee. The key is clarity: a good answer is specific and calm, not defensive.
4. What are the costs for transportation, sheltering/holding, and refrigeration (if needed)? These line items can vary widely and often explain why two quotes feel “similar” but total differently. Ask what triggers additional days or after-hours fees.
5. If we choose cremation, what does your cremation process include—and what are the choices we still control? This is where you learn whether the funeral home is flexible. Ask about identification procedures, timelines, and whether you can plan a memorial later if that is what your family needs.
6. Do you offer an alternative container for cremation, and is a casket required? Under the FTC’s Funeral Rule, no state or local law requires a casket for cremation, and funeral homes that offer cremations must make alternative containers available. A straightforward answer here is a strong green flag.
7. If we want a viewing or visitation, what are our preservation options and costs? Ask whether embalming is required by law (it usually is not, though timing rules vary), whether refrigeration is available, and what options exist for a private family viewing. This question reveals how transparent they are about necessity versus preference.
8. What are your policies about outside merchandise—like an urn or casket purchased elsewhere? The FTC states a funeral provider cannot refuse to handle a casket or urn you bought elsewhere or charge a fee to do so. That right is described on the FTC’s Funeral Rule consumer guidance. If a funeral home implies you “must” buy their urn, that is a major red flag.
9. What is your timeline, and what decisions can be made later without penalties? A supportive provider will tell you what truly needs a decision today (for example, immediate disposition choices) and what can wait (like selecting cremation urns for ashes or deciding whether you will be keeping ashes at home).
10. If we need to transfer the deceased or coordinate with another provider, what are the fees and logistics? Families sometimes need a transfer across state lines, back to a hometown, or to a cemetery or crematory. A clear, itemized explanation here is often the difference between feeling supported and feeling trapped.

Funeral home red flags that often signal pressure or unclear pricing

Not every uncomfortable moment is a scam—grief makes everything feel sharper. But some patterns are reliably worth noticing. If you encounter more than one of these funeral home red flags, it may be wise to call another provider and compare.

• They won’t answer basic pricing questions or insist you must come in before they can discuss costs.
• They push a package immediately and dismiss itemized choices as “too complicated,” especially when you ask to compare funeral homes.
• They use urgency as leverage (“You have to decide right now or the price goes up”) without explaining why.
• They imply you must buy their urn or casket or suggest there will be a “handling fee” for outside items, despite the FTC guidance.
• They are vague about what’s included in a quote, especially around cash advances, third-party fees, or required cemetery/crematory charges.
• They shame budget questions or frame cost-conscious choices as disrespectful, rather than helping you align spending with meaning.

How to compare funeral homes without getting lost in the details

If you are searching “funeral home near me” and calling multiple places, your goal is not to memorize every line item. Your goal is to find the provider who can be transparent and steady while you make decisions. The easiest way to do that is to compare the same scenario at each location: for example, direct cremation with no viewing, or a simple service with visitation and cremation afterward.

When you meet in person, the Federal Trade Commission’s guidance on Complying with the Funeral Rule explains when the General Price List (GPL) must be provided and that it enables consumers to shop and purchase on an itemized basis. If you want a phrase that keeps things calm and clear, you can simply say, “I’d like to make a general price list request and compare itemized options before we decide.”

Over the phone, it helps to know two things at once: you have the right to price information if you ask, and funeral homes are not always required to mail a GPL to callers. The FTC explains your phone rights in its Funeral Rule consumer guidance, and the National Funeral Directors Association notes that while providers must give certain price information by phone, the Rule does not require them to send a GPL to callers. The practical takeaway is simple: ask for the specific prices you need to compare, then get the full written GPL when you meet.

Also ask what you will receive before you pay. The FTC guidance explains you should receive a written statement listing what you selected and the total cost before payment. That document matters because it prevents “surprise totals” and gives you something concrete to review with family members who are not in the room.

Where cremation urns, keepsakes, pet memorials, and jewelry fit into your decision

Even if your article title is about choosing a funeral home, many families are quietly trying to make the funeral home decision and the remembrance decision at the same time. If cremation is part of your plan, you may be thinking about cremation urns for ashes, a smaller piece for sharing, or something you can wear. The healthiest way to approach this is to treat it as a second, calmer chapter of funeral planning, not a rushed add-on.

Some families want one primary urn and nothing else. Others want a primary urn plus small cremation urns or keepsake urns so siblings can each have a portion. And many people feel drawn to cremation necklaces or other cremation jewelry because it provides a sense of closeness during ordinary days, not just ceremonies. If you are exploring options, you can browse by category and pace yourself:

• cremation urns for ashes for a primary memorial at home or for burial placement.
• small cremation urns when you want a compact footprint or a meaningful share.
• keepsake urns for a token portion that can be shared among family members.
• pet urns for ashes and pet figurine cremation urns when your loss is a beloved companion and you want a memorial that reflects their personality.
• pet keepsake cremation urns when multiple people want a small share for a private remembrance.
• cremation jewelry and cremation necklaces if you want a wearable, close-to-the-heart option.

If you are worried about making the “wrong” choice, you are not alone. The most common mistake families make is choosing based on looks alone and discovering later that the capacity or closure is not what they expected. If you want a calm, practical walkthrough, you can read How to Choose the Right Cremation Urn and then browse with confidence. For pets, capacity confusion is even more common, which is why Pet Figurine Urns: How to Choose the Right Style Without Getting Size Wrong can save you from a stressful moment later.

If cost is a major stress point, ask this one extra question

It is completely normal to feel uneasy asking about money after a death. But clarity is kindness—especially to your future self. If you are comparing providers and the budget is tight, ask: “What are the most common add-ons that change the total, and which ones are optional?” Then request the quote in writing and review it when you are not in the middle of a hard conversation.

If you want a gentle, plain-language guide to the question families ask most—how much does cremation cost—you may find it helpful to read How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options and the companion guide Cremation Costs Breakdown: Average US Prices, Fees, and Add-Ons to Watch. Those resources can help you understand why two quotes differ and what questions to ask so you can compare fairly.

Planning ahead for ashes: what to do now, and what can wait

If cremation is part of your plan, you may be holding a lot of “later questions” already: what to do with ashes, whether you will be keeping ashes at home, whether a cemetery placement is the end goal, or whether your loved one would have wanted water burial. A good funeral home will not force those decisions too early. They will explain timelines and options, and then give you space.

When you are ready, Funeral.com has guides that walk through these choices in a way that stays practical and gentle. If you need help thinking through home placement, household comfort, and safety, start with Keeping Ashes at Home. If you are considering a water ceremony and want a clearer picture of the rules and planning steps, you may find Water Burial and Burial at Sea helpful. And if you are thinking about a wearable option, Cremation Jewelry 101 can help you understand how these pieces work in real life.

Above all, remember this: choosing a funeral home is not a test you have to pass. It is a decision about who will care for your person (or your pet) with dignity and who will treat your family with respect while you make choices. The right funeral home makes space for your questions, gives you clear pricing, and lets you move at a human pace.

Frequently asked questions about choosing a funeral home