Funeral Planning Checklist: Step-by-Step From the First Call to Final Arrangements

Planning a funeral or memorial can feel like you’re being asked to make decisions with a heavy heart and a tired brain. Even families who are organized in everyday life can feel disoriented in the first few days after a death—because grief doesn’t follow office hours, and logistics don’t pause for emotions. The good news is that you don’t have to do everything at once. A calm, step-by-step plan helps you move through what matters now, what can wait, and what choices will shape the service.

This guide is written as a practical, real-world funeral planning checklist—starting with the first phone calls and ending with the final details—while also helping you understand the options that many families are making today, including cremation urns, cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, pet urns, pet urns for ashes, pet cremation urns, and cremation jewelry like cremation necklaces.

If you’re wondering whether you’re “doing this right,” you’re not alone. Cremation is now the majority choice in the U.S., which means more families are making plans that include keeping or sharing cremated remains, storing them at home for a while, or planning a scattering or water burial. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025 (with a projected burial rate of 31.6%). And the Cremation Association of North America reports a U.S. cremation rate of 61.8% in 2024. Those numbers don’t tell you what your family “should” do—but they do explain why so many people are searching for guidance on what to do with ashes and how to make a plan that feels respectful and manageable.

The first hour: what to gather before you start calling

Before you call a funeral home, cremation provider, hospice, or hospital, it helps to gather a few basics. You don’t need every document in the world, and you don’t need to be perfect. Think of this as giving yourself a simple starting point.

If the death occurred at home under hospice care, the hospice nurse often guides the next steps and can help with the immediate pronouncement and transport. If the death occurred in a hospital or facility, staff usually explain what happens next, including when you’ll need to choose a funeral home or cremation provider.

What to gather (when you can): the full legal name of the person who died, date of birth, Social Security number (if available), marital status, and the names of parents (often needed for paperwork and the death certificate). If the person was a veteran, locate discharge papers if you can. If there is pre-planning paperwork, a prepaid plan, or written wishes, that can reduce the number of decisions you’ll have to make later.

One quiet tip that helps: choose one person to be the “notes and receipts” person. Not because anyone else isn’t capable, but because it’s easy to forget what was said on a call when you’re emotionally flooded. A single notebook—or one shared document—can become your anchor.

The first calls: who to contact and what to ask

The first call is usually to the funeral home or cremation provider you choose. If you don’t have one, it’s okay to call two or three and compare. You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to slow it down. A respectful provider will not rush you.

Early questions that keep things clear include: what will happen next (in order), what documents they will need from you, how many death certificates you should order, and what costs are included versus optional. If you’re considering cremation, ask whether the quote is for direct cremation only, or cremation with a viewing or service.

In the background, there are other calls that may need to happen soon, but not all on day one: close family members, the employer, clergy (if applicable), and—if there are safety concerns at a residence—someone trusted to help with basic home tasks. If you have a big family, you can save yourself a lot of stress by choosing one spokesperson and one group message thread so you’re not repeating the same painful information 25 times.

Choosing burial or cremation and how it shapes the plan

Many families think they’re choosing between “burial” and “cremation,” but in real life you’re choosing a timeline and a set of decisions. Burial often comes with a faster service timeline because of cemetery scheduling and preparation. Cremation can be quick, but it can also create a pause—because once the cremation is complete, you may have time to plan a memorial later, when family can travel or when the emotional shock isn’t as sharp.

If you’re leaning toward cremation, your plan usually includes two separate parts: the disposition (the cremation itself and the provider’s services) and the memorial choices afterward—like an urn, jewelry, scattering, cemetery placement, or simply keeping the ashes at home for now.

If you want to browse memorial options while you’re still figuring out the service, you can start with cremation urns for ashes and let the visual options help you imagine what “right” might look like for your family. You can also read how to choose a cremation urn if you want a calm guide to size, materials, and placement before you buy anything.

How urn decisions fit into a funeral planning checklist

One reason urn decisions feel emotionally hard is that they can feel permanent. But your plan doesn’t have to be permanent on day one. Many families begin with a practical “for now” plan: the cremated remains are returned in a temporary container, and the family keeps them safe while deciding what comes next. If you’re considering a permanent urn, the main decision points are capacity (how much it holds), placement (home, cemetery, columbarium niche, scattering plan), and style (what feels like the person).

In simple terms, cremation urns are typically chosen based on capacity and purpose. If you need an urn that will hold all remains, you may browse cremation urns for ashes and then narrow by the type that matches your plan. If you’re planning to share ashes among several people, or you want a second “home base” urn for another household, small cremation urns can be a practical middle option. You can browse small cremation urns for ashes when you’re thinking about a meaningful portion rather than the full amount.

If your plan includes sharing ashes among siblings or children, keepsake urns are often what families choose next. Keepsakes hold a small amount and can be displayed or stored safely. You can browse keepsake urns, and if you want guidance before you decide, Keepsake Urns 101 walks through sharing, personalization, and safe display in plain language.

If you’re keeping ashes at home, what’s normal and what helps

Keeping ashes at home is more common than many people realize—and for many families, it’s not a forever decision. It’s a pause that gives you time to grieve without pressure. What matters most is safety and respect: keep the container in a stable location, away from curious pets or small children, and avoid humid environments if the container isn’t sealed.

If you want reassurance and practical tips, Keeping Ashes at Home: What’s Normal, What’s Not is a gentle read when you’re trying to figure out where to place the remains and how to talk about it as a household. And if you want more of a “how do we do this safely” approach, Keeping Ashes at Home: A Practical Safety Guide covers storage and common questions without making you feel judged for needing time.

Including pets in the plan: pet urns, sharing, and memorial choices

If your family is grieving a beloved animal, the planning steps are similar, but the emotions can be uniquely tender—because people sometimes feel like they have to “justify” their grief. You don’t. If you’re choosing pet urns or pet urns for ashes, the most important factor is still capacity. A visually large urn isn’t always a large-capacity urn, especially with sculptural designs.

Families who want something classic and dignified often browse pet cremation urns. If you’re choosing something smaller for a cat, small dog, or a portion to keep in another household, small pet cremation urns for ashes can be a comfortable fit. If sharing is part of the plan, pet keepsake cremation urns can help family members each keep a small portion close.

And if you’re drawn to memorial designs that capture a pet’s personality, pet figurine cremation urns for ashes can be deeply meaningful—especially when the style feels like “them.” If you want a practical guide before you choose, this pet figurine urn sizing guide focuses on the most common mistake families want to avoid: ordering something beautiful that doesn’t have enough interior capacity.

Planning the service: funeral, memorial, or something in between

When people say “funeral,” they often mean a service with the body present. When they say “memorial,” they often mean a service after burial or cremation, without the body present. Both can include readings, music, eulogies, religious elements, military honors, a visitation, and time for family to gather. The difference is mostly timing and what’s physically present in the room.

One reason memorial services can feel gentler is that they can be scheduled when key people can travel, and the family has had time to breathe. This is also where urn and keepsake choices can matter, because a memorial might include a display table with photos, flowers, a guestbook, and an urn—sometimes alongside cremation jewelry that a spouse or child wears privately. If you’re considering wearable keepsakes, cremation jewelry offers a broad view of styles, and cremation necklaces can be a good starting point if you want something simple, close to the heart, and designed for daily wear.

If you want an explainer that doesn’t overwhelm you with jargon, Cremation Jewelry: How It Works (and What It Actually Holds) answers the questions families quietly worry about—like how secure the closure is and what “capacity” really means when it’s jewelry.

Paperwork and people: notifications, death certificates, and benefits

There are a few administrative tasks that can quietly create stress later if they aren’t handled early, so it helps to put them into your checklist without trying to finish them all at once.

Death certificates are one of the big ones. Many institutions will require an official copy (often banks, insurance companies, and some retirement accounts). Your funeral home can advise how many to order. The number varies by situation, but it’s common to need several.

Then there’s “who to notify.” Some notifications are urgent (employer, immediate family, caregivers). Others can happen later (subscriptions, memberships, smaller accounts). If you feel emotionally stuck, choose one category per day. You are not failing if you can’t do it all at once.

Costs: how to compare quotes without feeling taken advantage of

Money is a hard topic in grief—because it can feel cold to think about cost when you’re trying to honor a life. But cost clarity protects families from regret and panic spending. When you ask, how much does cremation cost, the most important thing to learn is what’s included in the quote. Direct cremation (no viewing or formal service through the funeral home) is usually less expensive than cremation with services. Add-ons—like visitation time, facility fees, upgraded containers, obituary services, or additional transportation—can change the total quickly.

For a broad benchmark, the National Funeral Directors Association publishes cost statistics, including a national median cost for a funeral with cremation (with viewing and funeral service). For a practical breakdown of common line items and how families compare quotes, Cremation Costs Breakdown walks through the most common fees in plain language. And if you want a bigger-picture guide designed around the exact question families ask, How Much Does Cremation Cost in the U.S.? is a helpful read when you want to understand pricing without feeling like you’re decoding a foreign language.

It can also help to remember that memorial choices (like urns or jewelry) are separate decisions from disposition costs. If you’re trying to keep everything organized, it can be useful to treat them as two columns in your mind: the provider cost today, and the memorial decisions you can make thoughtfully over time. Browsing collections like cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, and cremation jewelry can help you see what’s possible without forcing you to buy anything before you’re ready.

What to do with ashes: decisions you can make slowly

After a cremation, families often reach a quieter moment where the urgent tasks are mostly done—and that’s when the question lands: what to do with ashes. If you’re not ready to decide permanently, that’s okay. A respectful “for now” plan can be as simple as choosing an urn that feels right for home storage, or choosing a keepsake for one person while you plan a larger memorial later.

If you want a broad set of ideas, What to Do With Cremation Ashes offers options that range from private keepsakes to public memorials. If you want something especially calm and practical that ties together urns, pet memorials, jewelry, and planning, this guide to what to do with ashes can help you form a plan without feeling pushed into a single “right” answer.

Water burial and burial at sea: planning the moment with confidence

Water burial can mean different things to different families. Sometimes it means scattering ashes over water. Other times it means placing cremated remains in a biodegradable urn designed for a sea ceremony. If your plan involves U.S. ocean waters, it helps to know that there are federal rules. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency explains that cremated remains must be buried at sea at least three nautical miles from land, and there are reporting requirements for burials at sea.

If you want a family-friendly explanation that translates the legal language into “what does this mean for us,” Water Burial and Burial at Sea: What “3 Nautical Miles” Means walks through how families plan the moment without missing key steps. And if you’re the kind of person who feels calmer with a simple structure, Water Burial Planning: A Simple Checklist for Families can help you feel steady without turning the ceremony into a spreadsheet.

A simple organizing system that keeps decisions from multiplying

Most overwhelm in funeral planning comes from decision stacking. You answer one question, and three more appear. A simple system can prevent that. Keep one running list of “decisions made,” one list of “decisions pending,” and one list of “waiting on someone else.” If you’re sharing responsibility among siblings, agree on one place where updates live so no one is chasing information through 40 text messages.

If you can, separate your planning into three time buckets: today (what must happen in the next 24 hours), soon (what should happen this week), and later (what can wait). This is especially helpful with cremation-related decisions, because choices like urn style, cremation necklaces, or scattering plans can often be made later—after the immediate urgency passes.

Funeral planning checklist recap: step-by-step in one place

• Gather basics: legal name, birth information, Social Security number (if available), marital status, parent names, veteran info, and any pre-planning documents.
• Choose a funeral home or cremation provider and ask what happens next, what’s included in the quote, and what decisions are time-sensitive.
• Order death certificates based on your likely needs (banks, insurance, benefits).
• Decide on burial or cremation, knowing that cremation often allows more flexibility for a memorial timeline.
• Plan the service format (funeral, memorial, visitation, celebration of life) and confirm dates, location, and any clergy or officiant.
• Notify key people (immediate family, employer, close friends) and set up a single communication channel for updates.
• Clarify costs and compare quotes thoughtfully; separate disposition costs from memorial choices like urns or jewelry.
• Create a “for now” plan for ashes if needed: safe storage at home, then decide on an urn, keepsakes, scattering, cemetery placement, or water burial when ready.
• If pets are part of the loss, decide on pet cremation and memorial options, including pet urns for ashes and keepsakes for sharing.
• Close the loop on final details: obituary, printed programs, music/readings, photo display, guestbook, flowers, and reception plans.

Frequently asked questions

1. What should I do first when someone dies?

   Start with the immediate medical and legal steps: if the death happened at home under hospice, call hospice; if it happened unexpectedly, call emergency services. Then choose a funeral home or cremation provider and ask what happens next in order. If you can, gather basic identifying information (legal name, date of birth) and any pre-planning paperwork before you make multiple calls.

2. How many death certificates do we need?

   It depends on the estate and how many institutions require official copies (banks, insurance, retirement accounts, benefits). Your funeral home can advise based on your situation. If you’re unsure, it can be easier to order several up front than to reorder later, but you don’t need to guess alone—ask the provider what families typically need in similar situations.

3. If we choose cremation, do we have to decide what to do with ashes right away?

   No. Many families begin with a respectful “for now” plan by keeping ashes safely at home while they grieve and talk. When you’re ready, you can choose a permanent urn, share ashes using keepsakes, plan scattering, or explore options like burial or water burial. If you want ideas, Funeral.com’s guides on keeping ashes at home and what to do with ashes can help you move at a human pace.

4. What’s the difference between small cremation urns and keepsake urns?

   Both are designed to hold less than a full adult amount, but they’re usually used for different sharing plans. Small cremation urns often hold a meaningful portion and can work as a second household urn or a compact memorial. Keepsake urns hold a smaller portion and are commonly used when multiple family members want to keep a share. The most reliable way to decide is to check the listed capacity and match it to your plan.

5. How much does cremation cost, and what changes the price most?

   Cremation costs vary by location and by whether you choose direct cremation or cremation with services (like a viewing). Add-ons such as facility time, additional transportation, or upgraded containers can change the total significantly. For benchmarks and national context, the National Funeral Directors Association publishes cost statistics, and practical guides can help you compare quotes line-by-line so you understand what’s included.

6. Is water burial legal for cremated remains?

   It can be, but the rules depend on where the ceremony takes place. For U.S. ocean waters, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency explains federal requirements for burial at sea, including the “three nautical miles” rule and reporting requirements. For lakes and rivers, rules are usually local and permission-based, so it’s wise to confirm the guidelines for the specific waterway.