Most families don’t start this process thinking about paperwork. You start with a name you want to honor, a set of dates that still feel unreal, and a quiet desire to create something that will stand in the world long after the busiest part of grief passes. Then you call a cemetery or open a rule packet and suddenly you’re staring at measurements, material specs, foundation details, and deadlines. If you’ve found yourself thinking, “I just don’t want to order the wrong thing and get delayed,” you’re exactly who this guide is for.
In plain terms, headstone requirements are the practical rules that cemeteries use to keep memorials safe, durable, and consistent across the grounds. These rules are not universal. Even two cemeteries in the same town can have completely different cemetery headstone rules depending on maintenance style, landscape design, local climate, and how the cemetery is organized into sections. The goal here is to help you recognize the rule categories that show up most often, understand what to ask for (in writing), and move through cemetery marker approval with fewer surprises.
And because memorial decisions rarely live in a neat box, we’ll also connect this to broader funeral planning realities. More families are choosing cremation today, which often changes what a cemetery memorial looks like. You may be choosing a headstone for a traditional burial, a flat marker in a memorial park, a niche plate for a columbarium, or even a marker that honors someone whose ashes are kept elsewhere. The rules still matter, and the right questions can save you weeks.
Why Cemetery Rules Can Feel Strict (And Why They Exist)
When you’re grieving, a rule about granite thickness can feel absurdly cold. But from a cemetery’s perspective, rules are mostly about three things: safety, maintenance, and long-term consistency. An upright monument that isn’t properly anchored can tip. A flat marker that sits proud of the turf can be clipped by mowers. A bronze plaque that isn’t mounted to a stable base can shift or warp over time. Even small details—like whether vases are permitted, or whether photo tiles are allowed—are often rooted in how the grounds are cared for year after year.
Many cemeteries also maintain a “look” that shapes the visitor experience. In a memorial park, the intent may be an open landscape with only flat markers so the horizon stays uninterrupted. In an older cemetery, upright monuments may be part of the historical character. That’s why grave marker regulations are often tied to the section of the cemetery, not just the cemetery as a whole. If you do one thing early, let it be this: ask the cemetery which section your grave or plot is in and request the rules for that specific section in writing.
If you want additional context on how cemeteries define marker types in everyday language, Funeral.com’s guide What Is a Headstone, Exactly? is a helpful starting point.
The Most Common Cemetery Headstone Rules Families Encounter
Size and Style Restrictions
Most families first run into headstone size requirements. Sometimes the rule is straightforward—“flat markers only”—and sometimes it’s more nuanced: flats are required in some rows, uprights are allowed in others, and benches are limited to designated garden areas. If you’ve been browsing options online and you’ve fallen in love with a slant marker, an upright with a wide base, or a ledger-style memorial, the cemetery’s section rules determine whether that design is even eligible for approval.
Style rules often come with maximum dimensions for width, height, and thickness, and sometimes minimums as well (especially for upright monuments where stability depends on mass). If your cemetery allows flat markers, they may specify whether the marker must be fully flush with the turf or can be slightly raised. Some cemeteries also specify the bevel of the edge to reduce mower impact. These details sound small until they’re the reason a cemetery pauses your installation.
If you want a practical sense of how families compare common styles—flat, slant, upright, and bench—Funeral.com’s guide Most Popular Types of Headstones Today pairs “photo-style” descriptions with real-world pros and cons.
Material and Finish Rules
The next set of cemetery headstone rules typically focuses on material. In many cemeteries, granite and bronze are the most commonly approved choices because they balance durability with readability. Marble may be allowed in some places but discouraged in others due to weathering. Some cemeteries specify granite color ranges or prohibit certain finishes because they show wear differently. Others require bronze markers to be mounted to granite bases that meet specific dimensions.
Material rules are also where climate quietly matters. Freeze-thaw cycles, coastal salt air, desert sun, and heavy rainfall each age memorial surfaces in different ways. If you’re weighing granite versus marble, or trying to understand how bronze patinas over time, Funeral.com’s article Best Stone for Headstones offers a grounded comparison of how materials age, what maintenance looks like, and what tradeoffs families typically accept.
It can also help to remember that a cemetery’s material restriction is not always about “better” versus “worse.” Sometimes it’s simply about uniformity in a specific section. If the surrounding rows are all flat bronze on granite bases, the cemetery may keep that pattern so the area looks intentional and is easier to care for.
Foundation and Base Requirements
If there is one category that most often causes delays, it’s headstone foundation requirements. A foundation is the concrete base below the marker or monument that keeps it level and stable as the soil settles. Some cemeteries require the cemetery to pour the foundation themselves. Others allow an approved installer to do it, but only to exact specs. It’s common for cemeteries to charge a separate foundation fee even when you purchase the marker elsewhere.
Foundation specs can include thickness, reinforcement, depth, and whether the concrete must extend beyond the marker’s dimensions. In some municipalities, the requirements are published openly. For example, the City of Lindon (Utah) posts its Cemetery Headstone Requirements online, including details about concrete foundations—an example of how specific these rules can be.
Even when a cemetery doesn’t publish the numbers publicly, you can still treat the foundation as a predictable step with a timeline. Ask who is responsible for pouring it, when they pour foundations (some do seasonal batches), and how far in advance you must schedule. If the cemetery pours it, your installer may not be able to set the stone until the concrete cures. If the installer pours it, the cemetery may require an inspection before the memorial is placed.
Inscriptions, Emblems, Photos, and Design Approval
Families are often surprised to learn that inscription rules exist. Many cemeteries want to review the exact layout before fabrication, including name spelling, dates, font style, religious symbols, artwork, and any additional text. This is especially true when a cemetery is trying to keep visual consistency in a section or avoid imagery that could create conflict in a shared public space.
When families want a symbol that reflects faith, vocation, or personality, approval is usually possible, but it may require submitting a drawing or proof. Funeral.com’s guide Headstone Symbols and Icons can help you think through what certain images typically mean, which is useful when you’re choosing something that should feel clear to future generations.
If the memorial is for a veteran, there may be additional layers: military abbreviations, approved emblems, and eligibility for government-furnished memorial items. Funeral.com’s article Military Headstone Symbols and Abbreviations can help you understand what appears on veteran markers, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs explains how to apply for Veterans headstones, markers, plaques and urns if your family is eligible.
Photo tiles and ceramic portraits are another area where cemeteries vary widely. Some allow them, some prohibit them, and some require a waiver acknowledging that photos can fade or be damaged outdoors. If you’re considering a photo element, ask the cemetery directly what’s allowed and whether any additional forms are required before approval.
Installation Rules, Permits, and Who Is Allowed to Set the Stone
Headstone installation rules are often stricter than families expect. Many cemeteries require installation to be performed by the cemetery staff or by a monument company that is pre-approved by the cemetery. This can be frustrating when you’re working with an outside headstone vendor, but it’s not always about restricting choice. Cemeteries are managing liability, equipment use, turf protection, and consistent alignment across rows.
It’s also common to encounter a cemetery monument permit process. Sometimes this is a simple form and fee. Sometimes it’s a full review that requires a drawing, material description, inscription proof, and confirmation of who will install. A cemetery may also require the stone to be delivered to a specific receiving area on certain days, with advance notice so they can locate and mark the grave. As a real-world example of how formal these policies can be, some cemeteries publish detailed monument rules publicly, like Monument Rules & Regulations from Mount Judah Cemetery.
If you are purchasing a marker and planning installation across winter months, ask about seasonal restrictions. In colder climates, cemeteries may pause foundation pours or installation when the ground is frozen. That doesn’t mean you can’t order the stone—it often just means you want the approval steps completed early so you’re first in line when installation resumes.
Buying a Headstone Online Without Delays
Many families today plan to buy headstone online, especially when comparing styles, pricing, and customization options. Online ordering can be a good experience, but the success of it depends on one thing: you treat cemetery approval as the first milestone, not the last. If you order a memorial and then ask the cemetery whether it’s allowed, you risk paying for modifications, shipping changes, or even a remake.
Whether you buy from a local monument shop or an outside headstone vendor, a smooth process usually follows this sequence: confirm the cemetery section rules, submit the design for approval, finalize the inscription proof, confirm foundation requirements and fees, schedule installation, and only then move into fabrication and delivery timing. This is also where it helps to get one person at the cemetery as your consistent point of contact, because “rules” can be interpreted differently if you speak to multiple staff members over time.
Families sometimes ask whether there are protections similar to the right to purchase a casket elsewhere. The Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule is clear that a funeral provider cannot refuse to handle a casket or urn you purchased elsewhere or charge a fee for doing so. Cemeteries, however, are a different category of business, and they can still set rules about what is installed on their grounds, who installs it, and what foundation standards must be met. In practice, that means your best protection is written requirements and a documented approval.
How Cremation Trends Change Cemetery Memorial Decisions
If you’re wondering why headstone conversations are evolving, it’s partly because disposition choices are changing nationwide. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025, compared to a projected burial rate of 31.6%. The Cremation Association of North America reports a U.S. cremation rate of 61.8% in 2024. As cremation becomes more common, more families find themselves creating cemetery memorials that don’t fit the older assumption of “casket burial equals headstone.”
You may be placing a marker for a cremation burial plot, selecting an inscription for a niche plate, or choosing a headstone even when the ashes are not interred there. Some families keep ashes at home for a time and install a cemetery marker later, once they feel more certain. If you’re navigating that particular decision, Funeral.com’s guide to keeping ashes at home can help you think through safety, family preferences, and long-term plans without pressure.
If your memorial plan includes an urn placed in a niche, buried in a cemetery, or kept at home, the “urn decision” becomes part of the same practical conversation as headstone rules. Families often choose a primary urn plus smaller keepsakes, especially when multiple relatives want a tangible connection. Funeral.com’s collections of cremation urns, engravable cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, and keepsake urns can be useful when you’re trying to match a memorial item to a real plan instead of guessing.
And because grief is not always something you want to keep on a shelf, some families choose wearable memorials alongside a cemetery marker. Funeral.com’s cremation jewelry and cremation necklaces are designed for those who want a small, private way to stay connected in daily life.
For families who are also grieving a beloved animal companion, the cemetery conversation can look different. Pet cemeteries and mixed-use cemeteries have their own rules, but the same categories apply: size, material, foundation, and installation. If you are honoring a pet at home, Funeral.com’s collections of pet urns, pet urns for ashes, and engravable pet urns for ashes, including pet figurine cremation urns and pet keepsake cremation urns, offer a range of options that can work with different household styles and comfort levels. Funeral.com’s guide Pet Urns for Ashes: A Complete Guide is also a steady, practical read if you’re trying to choose without feeling overwhelmed.
If your plan includes a ceremony by water or a nature-centered memorial, you may also be considering water burial or scattering. Funeral.com’s guide Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony can help you think through what’s involved and how families shape meaningful rituals.
A Practical Approval Checklist That Prevents “We Can’t Install This”
Think of this as your calm, administrative backbone. You’re not being picky—you’re protecting yourself from delays, surprise fees, and last-minute redesigns. Before fabrication begins, make sure you can answer the following in writing:
- The exact cemetery section and the specific cemetery headstone rules that apply to it.
- The permitted marker styles (flat, slant, upright, bench) and the headstone size requirements for each.
- The approved materials, finishes, and any color restrictions under the cemetery’s grave marker regulations.
- All headstone foundation requirements, including who pours the foundation and what the fees are.
- The submission requirements for cemetery marker approval (drawing, proof, font, emblems, photo rules).
- Whether a cemetery monument permit is required, what it costs, and how long approval typically takes.
- The cemetery’s headstone installation rules, including who is allowed to install and how scheduling works.
- Delivery instructions (address, receiving hours, required notice, and who signs for the stone).
- The cemetery’s policy on resetting or leveling if the marker shifts over time.
If you want additional detail on how cemeteries commonly structure these rules, Funeral.com’s article Headstone Regulations and Cemetery Rules expands on the same categories and explains what families typically overlook.
Questions to Ask the Cemetery Before You Order
If you feel unsure what to ask, you don’t need perfect wording. You just need clear questions that force clear answers. These tend to get you there quickly:
- Which section is the grave in, and can you send me the written rules for that section?
- Do you allow flat markers only, or are uprights/slants/benches permitted in this area?
- What are the maximum permitted dimensions (width, height, thickness), including the base?
- Which materials are allowed (granite, bronze, marble), and are there finish or color restrictions?
- Do you require a particular foundation size or thickness, and who pours it?
- Is installation handled by the cemetery, or can an approved monument company install it?
- What is the full list of fees (permit, foundation, installation, inspection, setting, engraving review)?
- What do you need for approval (drawing, inscription proof, emblem documentation), and where do I send it?
- Are photos or ceramic portraits allowed, and do you require any waivers?
- Do you have seasonal installation limits, and what is your current scheduling timeline?
How to Keep the Memorial Plan Human
A headstone is a practical object, but it is also a relationship expressed in stone. It helps to give yourself permission to approach this in two tracks: one track is administration, and the other is meaning. The administrative track is where you gather rules, confirm dimensions, and secure approvals. The meaning track is where you decide what the marker should say, what symbols feel honest, and how this memorial fits into your family’s long-term way of remembering.
Sometimes that long-term plan includes cremation decisions that are still unfolding. Families who aren’t ready to decide immediately often start with keeping ashes at home and then choose a cemetery placement later. Others build a plan that includes a primary urn, a few keepsakes, and a cemetery marker that gives everyone a place to visit. If you’re still trying to map out the cost side of these choices, Funeral.com’s guide how much does cremation cost is designed for that moment when you need numbers, but you also need them explained gently.
And if you’re sorting through the broader question of what to do with ashes, a planning-focused guide can reduce the sense that every decision is permanent right away. Funeral.com’s article How to Choose a Cremation Urn That Fits Your Plans walks through real-life scenarios like home display, burial, scattering, travel, and niche placement. Even if you’re here primarily for a headstone, that kind of clarity can make the entire memorial picture feel less chaotic.
The truth is that you’re allowed to want both: a memorial that meets every cemetery requirement and a memorial that feels like love. When you approach headstone requirements as a set of known checkpoints—size, material, foundation, inscription, installation—you give yourself the best chance of getting to the part that matters most: standing in a place of remembrance and feeling, quietly, that you did right by them.
If you’d like, you can use this article as a working template: copy the checklist and questions into an email, send it to the cemetery office, and ask them to reply with the exact section rules. That single step often turns an overwhelming process into a manageable one.
