What to Say During a Scattering: Short, Nonreligious Readings

If you are planning to scatter ashes, you are probably carrying two things at once: a very personal goodbye, and a very practical moment that happens outside—where wind, water, footing, and timing can all matter more than you wish they did. In that mix, families often search for what to say when scattering ashes and find either long religious passages that do not fit their beliefs, or “inspiration” that sounds beautiful on paper but feels awkward in a real voice.

A nonreligious scattering reading does not need to explain the mystery of death. It simply needs to hold the room for a minute, honor the person (or pet) clearly, and help everyone take one steady breath before the release. That is why nonreligious readings for scattering ashes work best when they are short, concrete, and personal—one memory, one gratitude, and one goodbye.

More families are facing these decisions now because cremation has become the majority choice in the U.S. The National Funeral Directors Association projects a U.S. cremation rate of 63.4% in 2025, and the Cremation Association of North America reports a U.S. cremation rate of 61.8% in 2024. With cremation comes choice: keep the ashes, bury them, share them, or scatter them—and often a combination of the above.

In fact, NFDA’s published statistics highlight how divided (and human) those preferences are. Among people who prefer cremation, NFDA reports that 33.5% would prefer their remains scattered in a sentimental place, 37.1% would prefer them kept in an urn at home, and 10.5% would like them split among relatives. (Those figures appear on NFDA’s statistics page.) In other words: if your family is still deciding what to do, or wants to do more than one thing, you are not “complicating it.” You are doing what many families naturally do when they are trying to balance meaning, distance, and grief.

Why nonreligious words often feel more meaningful outdoors

A scattering is not a lecture. It is usually a few quiet minutes at a place that mattered—beach, mountain, backyard, garden, lake, cemetery scattering garden, or out at sea. Outdoors, long readings can feel performative, and people can drift emotionally because they are also managing sun, wind, cold, or the self-conscious feeling of being in public.

That is why a short reading scattering ceremony tends to land best. It respects attention spans, it respects the moment, and it reduces the pressure on the reader to “deliver” something perfect. If you want guidance on the practical side—permissions, locations, and how to prevent wind blowback—Funeral.com’s articles Where Can You Scatter Ashes? and Scattering Ashes Ideas: Ceremonies, Etiquette, and U.S. Rules are a steady companion. (Many families also find it calming to read those guides the night before, so the day itself feels less like improvisation.)

When families ask for a secular scattering ceremony script, what they usually want is language that does three things: names the person, gives everyone permission to feel what they feel, and offers a simple closing that makes the release feel like a goodbye instead of a task.

A simple structure that works in 30–90 seconds

If you want the moment to stay calm and not theatrical, use a three-part structure that fits almost every situation: a memory, a gratitude, and a goodbye. This is the core of a simple scattering ceremony outline—and it also works beautifully for a pet.

Start with a name and a sentence that tells the truth about the setting. Outdoors, plain language is grounding. Then offer one memory that is specific (not a biography). Follow it with one gratitude that includes the group (“we” language helps people feel together). End with a goodbye that matches your family’s tone: quiet, humorous, tender, or strong.

If you prefer “humanist” language, think of it as humanist scattering ceremony words: you are honoring a life, a relationship, and the way love continues in the living. You do not need to promise certainty about the afterlife to make the moment sacred.

Short, nonreligious readings you can use as-is

Below are original scripts you can read verbatim or adapt. Each one is designed to fit in a real person’s voice without sounding like a performance. If you want to add one additional element, a single moment of silence is often more powerful than adding more words.

A 30-second reading: simple, steady, and universal

Today we are here to say goodbye to [Name] in a way that feels true to who they were. We carry one small memory with us—[a specific moment]—and we hold it like a light we can return to.

We are grateful for the love they gave, the ways they showed up, and the mark they leave on our lives. And now, with tenderness, we release what we can no longer hold in our hands, keeping what matters in our hearts.

[Name], we love you. We remember you. Goodbye.

A 60-second reading: one memory, one gratitude, one legacy

We came to this place because it holds meaning—because it reflects something about [Name]: a love of the outdoors, a sense of peace, a feeling of freedom, a memory we can return to.

When I think of [Name], I think of [one concrete trait]—the way they [showed love in an ordinary way], the way they made space for people, the way they stayed steady when life was not. If you are here today, you carry your own version of that story.

So we hold one memory close, and we offer one simple gratitude: thank you for the life we shared, thank you for the lessons we did not recognize until later, and thank you for the love that changed us.

As we scatter these ashes, we are not erasing [Name]. We are returning what is physical to the world, and keeping what is true with us—love, influence, and memory. Goodbye, [Name]. We will carry you forward.

A 90-second reading: when the relationship was complicated, but real

Not every relationship is simple, and not every goodbye is neat. But what we can say today is true: [Name] mattered. Their life touched ours in ways we can name, and in ways we are still understanding.

We remember the good that was real—[one memory]—and we also make space for the fact that grief can include many feelings at once. Love and frustration. Gratitude and regret. Relief and sadness. There is room for all of it here.

What we choose to carry forward is what helps us live with integrity: the lessons we learned, the tenderness we discovered, and the intention to do better where we can. And what we release is what no longer needs to live in our hands.

[Name], we say goodbye with honesty. We let go with respect. And we hope you are at peace.

A short reading for a pet: tender, simple, and not childish

Today we say goodbye to [Pet’s Name], who gave us a kind of love that was simple and complete. They made ordinary days better—through companionship, routine, and the quiet comfort of being near.

We are grateful for the life we shared and for the ways a pet becomes family. As we release these ashes, we keep the bond. Love does not disappear when the body is gone. It becomes memory, and gratitude, and the small moments that still make us smile.

Goodbye, [Pet’s Name]. Thank you for loving us.

If you are looking for a celebration of life reading, you can simply add one line after the memory: “And if we could ask [Name] what they would want from us now, it would be this: live fully, love well, and keep showing up for each other.” That line often lands without needing a religious frame.

If you want “poem energy” without religion

Many families ask for a scattering ashes poem nonreligious because they want language that feels like a blessing, but they do not want God-language or scripture. The easiest way to achieve that is to borrow from the natural world without making it mystical: tide and shoreline, wind and sky, roots and seasons, light and warmth. Nature imagery works outdoors because it matches what everyone can see and feel in the moment.

If you want a poem-like option that stays grounded, keep it to four or five lines and make sure the nouns are real. Here is an original, nonreligious “poem” that reads well aloud:

We give back what is made of earth and time.

We keep what is made of love and memory.

May the wind be gentle, and the day be kind.

May we carry you forward in the lives we live.

Choosing the reader so the moment stays calm, not performative

Families sometimes assume the reader must be the closest person. In practice, the best reader is the one who can speak steadily without becoming overwhelmed, because emotional safety matters on a day like this. The closest person can still be central—holding the container, choosing the location, saying a private goodbye afterward—while someone else reads the words.

If you are choosing between two people, choose the one who will keep it short. Outdoors, brevity is kindness. It is also part of scattering ceremony etiquette: you are honoring the person without turning the moment into a performance or asking guests to stand in discomfort for too long.

One practical tip: have the reader print the words in a large font and bring a second copy. Phones fail at the wrong moment, and wind loves to swipe screens. This is not about “getting it right.” It is about removing avoidable stress so the goodbye can be simple.

How the words connect to the plan for the ashes

What you say during scattering often depends on what you are doing with the ashes before and after the ceremony. Many families use a “now and later” approach: keep the ashes at home for a while, then scatter when travel is easier or emotions feel less raw. If that is your plan, Funeral.com’s guide to keeping ashes at home can help you think through safe, respectful placement—especially if children, pets, or frequent visitors are part of your household.

Other families scatter most of the ashes and keep a small portion as a lasting touchpoint. This is where the “one memory, one gratitude, one goodbye” structure fits perfectly, because it mirrors the plan: release what you can, keep what you need. If you want options for that, browse keepsake urns and small cremation urns for shareable portions, or consider cremation jewelry such as cremation necklaces for a tiny amount you want close to you. If you want a practical primer on how jewelry keepsakes work, Cremation Jewelry 101 is written for real-world questions and anxious hands.

If your plan starts with a primary urn and then branches into keepsakes or travel, you can begin by browsing cremation urns for ashes and then match the urn to the plan. Funeral.com’s guide How to Choose a Cremation Urn is designed to prevent the most common stressors—wrong size, wrong closure, wrong “type” for scattering versus long-term keeping.

For pets, the same logic applies. You might scatter a portion and keep a portion, especially if multiple households loved the same animal. Start with pet cremation urns and pet keepsake cremation urns for ashes, and if you want a memorial that looks like art, browse pet figurine cremation urns for ashes. If your family is actively deciding what to do with ashes, Funeral.com’s guide What to Do With Cremation Ashes can help you see the full range of options without pressure.

When water is part of the story

Families often say “water burial” when they mean two different things: scattering on the surface, or placing a dissolving urn into water so the release is contained and gradual. If you are planning a water burial in the ocean, be sure to review Funeral.com’s article Water Burial and Burial at Sea: What “3 Nautical Miles” Means, which walks through the practical realities of an at-sea ceremony. If you are choosing a container designed for a natural return, browse biodegradable & eco-friendly urns for ashes, and match the urn to the setting (water-soluble is not the same thing as soil-biodegradable).

Costs and planning, without making it feel transactional

Sometimes the pressure families feel is not only emotional—it is financial. If you are asking how much does cremation cost, you are usually trying to protect your family from surprise expenses while still doing something meaningful. NFDA reports that the national median cost of a funeral with viewing and cremation in 2023 was $6,280, compared with $8,300 for a funeral with viewing and burial. Those figures are summarized on NFDA’s statistics page, and they help explain why cremation is often chosen for flexibility as well as cost. For a practical breakdown written for consumers, Funeral.com’s guide How Much Does Cremation Cost? can help you understand common line items and what is optional versus required.

And if your bigger goal is to make decisions in calmer moments—so no one has to guess later—Funeral.com’s article funeral planning (How to Preplan a Funeral) is a straightforward way to document the “ashes plan,” including whether you want scattering, keepsakes, or a home memorial.

A closing thought you can borrow when you feel stuck

If you are standing at the edge of the moment and wondering if you have the “right” words, the most honest answer is that love does not require a perfect script. A scattering is not a performance. It is a small act of care. Keep the words short. Keep them true. Let silence do part of the work.

If you need one final line that is nonreligious and steady, here is a good one: “We release you with love, and we carry you with us.” Those are brief memorial words that fit almost every family, almost every place, and almost every kind of goodbye.