What to Bring to the Funeral Home Arrangement Meeting

If you searched for a funeral arrangement meeting checklist, you’re probably trying to do something very difficult while feeling very tired: walk into a funeral home, answer questions you never expected to answer, and make choices that will shape how you say goodbye. The arrangement meeting is not a test you can fail. It’s a guided conversation—part paperwork, part storytelling, part decision-making—meant to help your family move from the shock of loss toward a plan that feels respectful and manageable.

This guide is written to help you feel steadier before you go. It covers what to bring, what you’ll likely be asked, and how to think through common decisions around funeral planning, including cremation, memorial items, and what comes next if ashes come home. If you’re choosing cremation, we’ll also walk gently through choices families often face around cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, and cremation jewelry—not because you need to buy anything right away, but because it helps to understand your options before you’re asked to decide.

What the arrangement meeting is really for

Most arrangement meetings have three goals: confirm the information needed for legal documents (especially the death certificate), choose the type of service and disposition, and build an itemized plan you can understand and afford. You can bring support—another family member, a trusted friend, a clergy person, or anyone who helps you think clearly. If emotions run high (which is normal), a second set of ears can help you remember what was said and what still needs to be decided.

It may also help to know that you have consumer rights in this process. The Federal Trade Commission explains that under the FTC Funeral Rule, you have the right to receive a written, itemized General Price List (GPL) when you visit and begin discussing arrangements, and you can select only the goods and services you want. The Rule also says you may provide an urn or casket you purchase elsewhere, and the funeral provider cannot refuse to handle it or charge a fee simply for accepting delivery. Bringing that knowledge into the meeting can reduce pressure and help you ask for pricing in a clear, calm way.

A calm, practical checklist of what to bring

Families often worry they’ll arrive empty-handed. In truth, you can do a lot with “best available information” and follow up later. Still, having a simple folder can make the meeting smoother and prevent back-and-forth calls when you’re already overwhelmed.

• The person’s legal information: full legal name, date and place of birth, Social Security number (if available), address, marital status, and education
• Parents’ full names (including maiden name if applicable), and basic family information needed for the death certificate
• A list of immediate family and decision-makers, with phone numbers and email addresses (especially if relatives live far away)
• Military discharge papers (often DD-214) if the person was a veteran, plus any information about requested honors
• Any preplanning documents, insurance policies, or preneed contracts, if they exist
• A few photos (or a phone album) and a short list of meaningful details for the obituary or service—nicknames, hobbies, organizations, favorite songs
• A notes page with questions and your budget range, even if it’s approximate
• If cremation is planned, a written note about your early thoughts on what to do with ashes (even if the answer is “we don’t know yet”)

That last item matters more than people expect. When cremation is chosen, families are often asked sooner than they’re ready to be asked about urns, keepsakes, scattering, or home placement. You don’t have to decide everything at once, but arriving with a few “likely directions” can prevent rushed decisions.

Why cremation questions come up so often now

In many communities, the arrangement meeting has shifted from “choosing a casket” to “choosing a plan.” One reason is that cremation is now the majority choice in the United States. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% (with burial projected at 31.6%) and is expected to continue rising over the coming decades. That trend changes what families need from a funeral director: not only help with immediate logistics, but guidance on what happens after cremation, when the service may be over but grief is still very present.

The Cremation Association of North America also describes how dramatically the landscape has changed over time, noting long-term growth in cremation and the way different regions move through different phases of adoption. In practical terms, more families now find themselves asking the same questions: Will we keep the ashes at home? Do we want to scatter? Should we place them in a cemetery niche? How do we share ashes among siblings without causing conflict?

Those questions belong in the arrangement meeting—not because you must finalize them immediately, but because your answers can shape what the funeral home prepares and what choices you can comfortably make later.

Urns and keepsakes: you can slow down, but you can’t avoid the topic

When cremation is part of the plan, the funeral home typically returns ashes in a temporary container unless you provide a permanent urn. That temporary container is not a failure or an afterthought; it’s simply a practical way to bring cremated remains home while you decide what feels right. Many families choose to wait before selecting cremation urns, and that is completely normal.

If you do want to browse options before the meeting—sometimes that reduces anxiety—start with categories rather than trying to pick “the perfect urn” in one sitting. Funeral.com organizes choices in ways that match how families actually plan:

For a single, primary vessel intended to hold all remains, explore cremation urns for ashes. If your family expects to divide ashes among multiple people or keep a portion separate for a second memorial location, look at small cremation urns and keepsake urns. Those two categories sound similar, but emotionally they serve different roles: small urns can hold a meaningful portion for a second home or a later burial, while keepsakes are typically meant for symbolic sharing—tiny portions that allow several people to carry a connection without needing multiple full-size urns.

If you want a step-by-step guide written for real families (not industry jargon), Funeral.com’s Journal has a clear resource on how to choose an urn, including capacity, materials, and practical placement questions: How to Choose a Cremation Urn: Materials, Styles, Cost, Placement Tips. Some families also prefer a simpler, rules-based approach when they’re exhausted, and this guide can help: 4 Rules for Choosing the Right Urn for Ashes.

Keeping ashes at home: the questions to ask before you say “yes”

For many families, keeping ashes at home feels comforting—like bringing someone back into the space where love lived. For others, it feels heavy, or they worry about safety, spill risk, or whether they’ll later regret making the home the “final place.” The arrangement meeting is a good time to name those feelings out loud, because the funeral director can suggest practical options: a secure closure, a discreet placement plan, or a temporary container while you decide.

If you have small children, pets, frequent house guests, or a home that gets rearranged often, a calm safety plan matters. Funeral.com’s guide Keeping Ashes at Home: A Practical Safety Guide is helpful to read before you choose a location or transfer ashes into a permanent urn. Even if you don’t intend to store ashes long-term, the same guidance applies during the in-between time: choose a stable surface, avoid high-traffic shelves, and consider a container that doesn’t require you to “live on edge” about tipping.

One practical point worth remembering: you do not have to solve every “forever decision” during a week of grief. Many families keep ashes at home for months while they plan a scattering trip, a cemetery placement, or a family gathering when relatives can travel. The arrangement meeting can simply set up the next step, not finalize it.

Cremation jewelry: small, wearable remembrance for daily life

Sometimes the most painful part of loss is not the service day—it’s the ordinary Tuesday afterward. That’s why cremation jewelry has become meaningful for many people. A small piece can hold a tiny portion of ashes (or another keepsake, depending on the design) and offer comfort without requiring you to “perform grief” in public.

If you’re considering cremation necklaces or other wearable keepsakes, it can help to learn how they work and what to ask about closures and filling. Funeral.com’s Journal explains the basics in plain language here: Cremation Jewelry 101: Necklaces, Rings, and Charms That Hold Ashes. If you want to browse options simply to understand styles and capacities, you can explore cremation jewelry and cremation necklaces before your meeting, then decide later when you’re less pressured.

In the arrangement meeting, a helpful question is not “Which necklace is best?” but “If we want jewelry later, can the urn be reopened safely to create keepsakes?” That question points you toward practical closure choices without forcing you to buy anything immediately.

When the loss is a pet: bring their story, too

Pet loss can feel isolating because it’s deeply real grief that sometimes receives less public support. If your arrangement meeting is for a pet—or if you’re handling pet cremains alongside a human loss—it helps to know that memorial choices for animals are just as thoughtful and varied. Families often want something that looks like it belongs in the home: a simple wooden box, a photo frame urn, or a figurine that reflects a pet’s personality.

Funeral.com groups these options in ways that make it easier to compare. For classic and personalized options, browse pet cremation urns and pet urns for ashes. If you want a memorial that looks like a sculpture rather than an urn, explore Pet Figurine Cremation Urns for Ashes. And if several family members want a small portion—especially in a household where a pet was “everyone’s companion”—consider pet urns designed for sharing, including pet urns for ashes in keepsake sizes.

If you’d like a guide that validates the emotions while staying practical, this Funeral.com Journal article is a strong starting point: Pet Urns for Ashes: A Complete Guide for Dog and Cat Owners.

Water burial and scattering: plan for the location, not just the feeling

Families often imagine a beautiful farewell on water—an ocean view, a favorite lake, a place that meant something. In planning terms, “water goodbye” can mean different things, and those differences matter. Water burial usually refers to placing ashes in a biodegradable urn designed to dissolve, while “scattering at sea” usually means releasing ashes directly. Funeral.com explains the real-world difference here: Water Burial vs. Scattering at Sea: How They Differ in Practice.

If the ceremony is in U.S. ocean waters, the authoritative federal starting point is the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, which outlines the burial-at-sea framework and reporting expectations. One detail that surprises families is that the EPA’s ocean burial-at-sea guidance applies to human remains; the agency notes that pet remains are not covered under that general permit for ocean waters. If your plan involves a pet, it’s wise to choose a different setting (like private property with permission, a pet cemetery, or another local option) and confirm local guidelines.

In the arrangement meeting, you don’t need to announce the exact coordinates of a future ceremony. What helps is to share your direction: “We think we want water,” or “We may scatter later when family can travel.” That allows the funeral director to advise you on containers, timing, and how to protect ashes during the in-between period.

Costs and clarity: what to ask so you leave with a plan you understand

Families commonly arrive with one question they’re almost afraid to ask: how much does cremation cost? The answer depends on the type of service, local market rates, and what you include. For a national reference point, the National Funeral Directors Association reports that the 2023 national median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial was $8,300, while the median cost of a funeral with viewing and cremation was $6,280. Those figures don’t tell you what your local provider will charge, but they do help you understand why itemized planning matters.

In the arrangement meeting, ask for an itemized estimate and clarify which charges are the funeral home’s professional fees versus third-party “cash advance” items (like permits or death certificates). If you want a plain-language explanation before you go, Funeral.com’s guide Funeral Home Price Lists Explained: GPL, Cash Advances, and How to Compare Quotes can help you feel more confident about what you’re seeing on paper. This cost overview is also helpful when you want a reality-based range and a way to compare options without pressure: Average Funeral and Cremation Costs Today: Updated Price Guide and Ways to Compare.

One more gentle reminder that often reduces financial stress: under the FTC Funeral Rule, you can provide an urn you purchase elsewhere, and the funeral home cannot charge a fee simply for receiving it. That matters if you want time to choose a memorial that truly fits—whether that’s a traditional urn, a shared keepsake plan, or something like cremation jewelry for close family.

The most important thing to bring is permission to pause

Even the best-prepared folder cannot remove grief. What it can do is reduce the number of decisions made in panic. If you bring the essentials, ask for itemized clarity, and name your “likely direction” on cremation and memorial choices, you’ll leave the arrangement meeting with something priceless: a plan you can explain to the people you love.

If you want additional support after the meeting—when the quiet returns and questions surface—these Funeral.com resources can help you take the next step without rushing: When Ashes Come Home: Choosing Urns, Keepsakes, and a Plan That Feels Like Love and Creative Urn Ideas and Alternatives: Keepsakes, Jewelry, Art, and Unique Memorial Options. If you’re building a broader plan—especially for family members who want to reduce future burden—this current overview may be useful: How to Plan a Funeral in 2026: Costs, Trends, and Preplanning Options.