There is a moment after a death when the house feels changed in a way you canât explain. The air is the same, the light through the window is the same, but everything is quieterâlike the world is holding its breath. For many families, the first instinct is practical: Who do we call? What happens next? And then, sometimes, another instinct rises up underneath the logistics: a desire to do something gentle, something human, something that feels like love.
Washing the body after death can be that âsomething.â In some families it is rooted in faith; in others it is simply the last act of care you can offer, especially if your loved one died at home or you are choosing family-led after-death care. It can be part hygiene, part ritual, part quiet goodbye. It can also feel intimidating if you have never seen a dead body before, or if you worry about doing something âwrong.â
This guide is for beginners. It will walk you through how to wash the body at home with modesty, respect, and basic safety. And because after-death care doesnât end with washing, weâll also connect the dots to what families often face nextâfuneral planning, choosing cremation or burial, and, if cremation is part of your plan, deciding on cremation urns, cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, cremation jewelry, and even pet urns for ashes when grief includes an animal companion, too.
Before you begin: what to do right after a death at home
If the death happens at home under hospice care, most families are advised to call hospice first rather than emergency services; the hospice team can guide you through pronouncement and next steps. The Hospice Foundation of America explains what to do when a death occurs at home under hospice and why the hospice provider is often the first call. Hospice Foundation of America
If the death was expected but not under hospiceâor if it was unexpectedâlocal rules vary, and you may need to contact appropriate authorities for pronouncement or guidance. If you want a clear, plain-language overview of immediate steps, Funeral.comâs guide can help you feel less lost in the first hours. What to Do When Someone Dies at Home
Once the death is pronounced and you have the space to decide what comes next, you can choose whether you want to participate in care of the body. Some families wash and dress their loved one. Others simply brush hair, apply lotion, or place a favorite blanket. There is no single ârightâ amount of involvementâonly what feels possible in your body and heart that day.
Timing and the body: why earlier can feel gentler
Many families find it easier to wash and reposition the body sooner rather than later. Over time, the body cools and stiffens, and rigor mortis can make simple movementsâlike turning to one side to change linensâmore difficult. If you are planning a home vigil, cooling and positioning become part of comfort and practicality as well as ceremony. The National Home Funeral Alliance describes body care and cooling techniques commonly used in home funerals, including washing and preparing a space. National Home Funeral Alliance
If the idea of keeping the body at home for a period of time feels unfamiliar, you are not alone. Home funerals and family-led after-death care have become more visible as families look for options that feel personal and less rushed. Funeral.comâs guide introduces the basicsâwhatâs involved, when it can make sense, and how families blend home care with burial or cremation. Home Funerals and Family-Led Care
Creating a calm space: privacy, modesty, and who should be present
Start by choosing the room where you feel the most grounded. Many families prefer a bedroom because it feels private and familiar. Consider soft lighting, a clean sheet or towel under the body, and a clear path for anyone who needs to step out if emotions rise.
Modesty matters. You can keep the body covered with a sheet and only uncover the area you are washing. Some families designate one person to hold the sheet in place, or to be the âcomfort personâ who watches faces, offers water, and reminds everyone they can pause at any time.
It can also help to decide, gently and without pressure, who will participate. Sometimes it is a spouse or adult child. Sometimes it is two or three people who can share tasks. Sometimes the right choice is to watch from the doorway, or to sit nearby and simply be present. Participation can be physical, emotional, or both.
Universal precautions: simple safety that protects everyone
Families often hear the phrase âuniversal precautionsâ or âstandard precautionsâ and imagine something complicated. In practice, it usually means common-sense protection: treat blood and body fluids as potentially infectious, use gloves when contact is possible, and wash hands carefully afterward. OSHA describes âUniversal Precautionsâ as an infection-control approach that treats human blood and certain body fluids as if they are infectious. OSHA
The CDCâs guidance on standard precautions reinforces the basics: hand hygiene and personal protective equipment such as gloves when exposure to potentially infectious material is anticipated. CDC
In a home setting, that typically looks like wearing disposable gloves (and, if you expect splashing, a disposable apron or gown), covering any cuts on your hands with a waterproof bandage before gloving up, using gentle soap and warm water rather than harsh chemicals on skin, and removing gloves carefully before washing hands thoroughly. It also helps to have a trash bag ready for used gloves and disposable items, and to wipe down any surfaces that may have come in contact with moisture or bodily fluids. If you feel uncertain about what is âenough,â let âlow-stress and carefulâ be your guide. You are not performing a clinical procedure. You are offering care while reducing risk.
Supplies to gather before you start
One way to make the experience steadier is to gather supplies first, so you are not searching for towels mid-moment. Keep it simple. You do not need special products to do this respectfully.
Most families find it helpful to have several pairs of disposable gloves, two basins or bowls (one for soapy water and one for rinse water), gentle soap, washcloths, and soft towels. Youâll also want clean sheets (and a spare set), absorbent pads or folded towels to place under the hips and shoulders, and clothing for dressing afterwardâwhether thatâs a clean gown, pajamas, or something that feels like them. A comb or brush, a small amount of moisturizer, and lip balm are optional but often comforting. Keep a trash bag nearby for disposal so cleanup can be simple and contained.
If cultural or personal ritual is important in your family, you might also bring a candle, prayers or readings, music, or a small bowl of water with a chosen scent. The goal is not to create a perfect scene; it is to create a safe, respectful environment that supports your familyâs meaning.
How to wash the body after death: step by step
Take a breath before you begin. Tell each other you can pause. You can step out. You can cry. This is not a test. It is care.
Begin with coverage and comfort
Keep the body covered with a sheet. Uncover only the face and hands first. Many families start here because it feels less intimidating and helps you reconnect with the person you love. Wash the face with a warm, damp cloth and a small amount of gentle soap if needed. Dry carefully. You can apply moisturizer or lip balm if it feels comforting and familiar.
Work from âclean to less cleanâ
With fresh water and clean cloths as needed, wash the neck, chest, arms, and hands. Dry the skin as you go. If you are working with multiple helpers, one person can wash while another dries and keeps the sheet in place for modesty.
Wash the hair only if it feels right
Not every family washes hair, especially if mobility is difficult. If you do, you can place towels beneath the head and use a small amount of water and shampoo, then towel-dry and comb gently. If that feels too complicated, brushing hair and smoothing it into place can be equally meaningful.
Turn with support, not strain
If you plan to wash the back, it is usually easiest with two people: one to support the shoulders and hips, the other to clean and change linens. Move slowly. If the body is heavy or stiff, prioritize safety and dignity over âcompleteness.â It is okay to do less.
Genital and lower-body care can be brief and respectful
Many families feel nervous about washing intimate areas. You can keep the sheet positioned for privacy and wash quickly with a clean cloth and warm water. The National Home Funeral Alliance notes that after death, the bladder and bowels can relax, and using absorbent protection can help manage leakage in a practical way. National Home Funeral Alliance
Dry thoroughly and dress in familiar clothing
Once washing is complete, dry the body thoroughly and put on clean clothingâoften something your loved one wore at home, or something that feels like them. Some families choose a simple gown. Others choose favorite pajamas or a meaningful outfit. If you are planning a viewing later with a funeral home, you can still dress your loved one now; the funeral home can advise you if anything needs to change later.
Refresh the room and give yourselves a pause
When you finish, dispose of gloves and trash, wash hands, and wipe surfaces. Then pause. Drink water. Step outside. Sit down. Many families are surprised by the emotional aftershock: relief, tenderness, exhaustion, or sudden grief. All of it is normal.
Cooling and a home vigil: what families often choose next
If your plan includes keeping the body at home for a period of timeâsometimes called a home vigilâcooling becomes important for preservation and comfort. Approaches vary, but families commonly use cooling packs placed beneath towels, rotating them as needed, and keeping the room cool and shaded. The National Home Funeral Alliance offers practical guidance on cooling techniques used in home funerals. National Home Funeral Alliance
Not every family wants a vigil, and thatâs okay. You might wash the body and then arrange transfer to a funeral home or crematory. You might keep the body only briefly to allow close family time to gather. There is flexibility, and the ârightâ choice is the one that supports your familyâs needs and circumstances.
How washing connects to funeral planning and cremation choices
Families sometimes think of home care as separate from the ârealâ arrangements, but they are connected. Washing the body is often the first moment a family realizes: we are making decisions now. We are shaping a goodbye.
In the U.S., cremation has become the majority choice. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate was projected at 63.4% for 2025 (with burial projected at 31.6%). National Funeral Directors Association The Cremation Association of North America also tracks cremation trends and publishes annual statistics reports that include recent deaths and cremations in the U.S. and Canada. Cremation Association of North America
Cost is often part of the conversation, tooâespecially for families trying to keep decisions simple and sustainable. NFDAâs published statistics list a national median cost of $6,280 for a funeral with viewing and cremation (2023), compared with $8,300 for a funeral with viewing and burial (2023). National Funeral Directors Association If you are trying to understand why quotes can vary so much, Funeral.comâs guide breaks down direct cremation, full-service options, and common fees in plain language. How Much Does Cremation Cost in the U.S.?
Washing the body at home can be one way a family reclaims agency in a process that often feels rushed. It can also clarify what you want next: a quiet cremation with a memorial later, a home vigil followed by burial, or a small gathering that ends with a scattering or a water burial ceremony.
Choosing cremation urns, keepsakes, and jewelry without pressure
If cremation is part of your plan, the question becomes: what happens after the cremation? People often search what to do with ashes because the options feel strangely open-ended. Some families keep ashes at home for months. Others scatter quickly. Many do a blendâkeeping some, scattering some, and sharing small portions so multiple people can grieve in their own way.
If you are choosing a primary memorial, start with cremation urns for ashes in a size and style that fits your plan. Funeral.comâs main collection is a helpful starting point if youâre not sure what youâre looking for yet. Cremation Urns for Ashes
Size is the piece most families worry about. âSmallâ can mean very different things, and itâs easy to accidentally buy something intended for a portion rather than the full amount. If your plan involves sharing, traveling, or keeping a smaller memorial footprint, small cremation urns can be a meaningful option. Small Cremation Urns for Ashes
For sharing among siblings, children, or close friends, keepsake urns are designed specifically to hold a small portion of ashesâoften a symbolic amountâso multiple people can have a tangible connection without conflict. Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes If you want a gentle explanation of capacities and when keepsakes make sense, this guide is a steady companion. Keepsake Urns Explained
Some people want a memorial that isnât on a shelf at all. Thatâs where cremation jewelry can be quietly powerful. A small amount of ashes can be sealed inside a pendant or charm, creating something wearable and private. If youâre exploring this path, youâll see searches for cremation necklaces and ânecklaces for ashesâ for a reason: it can feel like carrying love into ordinary life. You can browse options here. Cremation Jewelry If you want a practical overviewâmaterials, closures, and how filling worksâthese guides can reduce anxiety before you buy. Cremation Jewelry 101 and Best Cremation Necklaces for Ashes
One of the kindest truths about memorial choices is that you donât have to decide everything immediately. It is common to keep ashes at home temporarily while a family decides what feels right long-term. Funeral.comâs guide covers keeping ashes at home with practical considerations for safety, visitors, children, pets, and placement. Keeping Ashes at Home
Pet loss belongs here too: pet urns and pet keepsakes
Home after-death care is often discussed in the context of human death, but many families have also cared for pets at homeâwashing a beloved dog after euthanasia, brushing fur one last time, wrapping them in a soft blanket before transport to a crematory. When a pet dies, grief can be fierce and strangely isolating, even though the love was real.
If you are choosing a memorial for an animal companion, pet urns and pet urns for ashes come in sizes that match a cat, a small dog, or a large breed, and styles that feel like home rather than âfuneral.â Funeral.comâs collection of pet cremation urns includes options across materials and sizes. Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes
Some families want something artisticâan urn that looks like a figurine or sculpture rather than a traditional vessel. If that feels right, these options are designed as both memorial and decor. Pet Figurine Cremation Urns for Ashes
And just as with humans, sharing can matter. If multiple people loved the same pet, pet keepsake cremation urns can hold small portions so remembrance doesnât become a tug-of-war. Pet Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes
Water burial and scattering: when âreturning to natureâ is part of the goodbye
For some families, the idea of releasing ashes into water feels honestâan ending that matches a person who loved the ocean, lakes, rivers, fishing, or simply the symbolism of flow. People often use the term water burial to mean different things: scattering ashes on the surface, or using a biodegradable urn that floats briefly and then dissolves.
If your plan involves ocean waters in the U.S., itâs important to understand the federal âthree nautical milesâ rule for burial at sea. The EPA explains that placing cremated remains in ocean waters must occur at least three nautical miles from shore under the general permit, and it also notes that non-human remains (including pets) are not allowed under that permit. U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
Funeral.comâs guide breaks down what âthree nautical milesâ actually means in real life, which can help families plan with less confusion. Water Burial and Burial at Sea: What â3 Nautical Milesâ Means
If a biodegradable option fits your values, Funeral.comâs eco-friendly collection includes water-soluble designs and other nature-forward choices. Biodegradable & Eco-Friendly Urns for Ashes And if you want a deeper explanation of how water urns float, sink, and dissolve, this guide can help you choose the right style for your ceremony. Biodegradable Water Urns for Ashes
A final word: you are allowed to do this your way
Washing the body after death can feel like stepping into sacred territory. It may be quiet and steady. It may be messy and emotional. It may be both. What matters is not perfectionâit is intention, safety, and care.
If you choose to wash your loved one at home, you are not âplaying funeral director.â You are doing something humans have done for generations: tending to someone you love, even after they are gone. And when you are ready for the next decisionsâfuneral planning, how much does cremation cost, choosing cremation urns for ashes, sharing through keepsake urns or cremation jewelry, or deciding about keeping ashes at homeâyou do not have to rush. The best choices are the ones that allow your family to breathe again, one step at a time.
