There are losses that don’t stay neatly inside a home, a church, or a funeral chapel. Some losses live out in the world—in the exact place where a life changed in an instant. That is part of why roadside memorials exist. A cross tied to a guardrail, a bouquet tucked near a signpost, a small cluster of candles at the edge of pavement: these are not decorations. They are grief made visible, love made public, and a way of saying, “This mattered. Someone mattered here.”
If you’ve ever slowed down as you passed one, you already understand the quiet message. A roadside memorial often marks a sudden death—an accident that left no time for goodbyes, no “we’ll talk tomorrow,” no gradual easing into what comes next. In the Southwest, you may hear these memorials called “descansos,” a term tied to a long tradition of roadside remembrance; the name itself points to a “resting place,” a pause where memory lingers even as the road keeps moving. The Library of Congress describes descansos as roadside shrines for accident victims, and that language captures what many families feel: the memorial is a way to keep a person’s presence from being swallowed by asphalt and time.
At the same time, families often learn a difficult truth: the very place that feels sacred can also be dangerous. Roadsides are engineered spaces. They are maintained. They are traveled at speed. And while a memorial can offer comfort, it can also create risk for the people who place it, for those who stop to visit it, and for drivers who may be distracted by activity near the shoulder.
Why Roadside Memorials Feel So Meaningful
When a death happens at home or in a hospital, families usually have physical spaces that naturally hold memory: a bedroom, a favorite chair, a kitchen table where coffee was poured a thousand times. But when a death happens on a roadway, the “place” of loss is outside your control. It belongs to the public, and yet it can feel like it belongs to your family, too. A roadside memorial becomes a way to claim a small piece of meaning in a location that otherwise feels cold and indifferent.
For many people, roadside memorials do two things at once. They honor the person who died, and they speak to strangers. They say, “Slow down.” They say, “Pay attention.” They say, “Someone else once assumed they would arrive safely.” That public dimension matters. Grief can be isolating, especially when a death was sudden or traumatic. A memorial placed where others can see it is sometimes a way of asking the world not to look away.
It can also help families with the disorienting early months after loss. Returning to the location, leaving fresh flowers, straightening a small cross, replacing a windworn photo—these acts can feel like caring for the person again. They create a ritual when everything else feels chaotic. If you have ever felt the urge to do something with your hands—something tangible—after a death, you understand why these memorials appear even when families know they might be removed later.
The Safety Reality: Why Roadsides Have Rules
Most laws and policies about roadside memorials flow from one basic concept: the roadside is not just “empty space.” Transportation agencies design and maintain shoulders and right-of-way areas with safety in mind, including keeping space clear so a driver who leaves the roadway has a better chance to recover. The Federal Highway Administration explains the idea of a “clear zone” as an unobstructed roadside area that helps drivers regain control or stop safely after leaving the travel lane. That design goal is one reason agencies limit fixed objects and discourage anything that could become a hazard. See the FHWA overview for the plain-language definition and purpose of clear zones.
From a family’s perspective, it can feel harsh to hear “the memorial might be removed.” From an agency’s perspective, it is often about predictable risks: people parking abruptly on narrow shoulders, visitors crossing lanes, memorial items blowing into traffic, glass breaking, candles starting grass fires, or objects becoming dangerous if struck by a vehicle. Even a well-intended memorial can turn into a maintenance issue when crews need to mow, repair guardrails, plow snow, or respond to emergencies.
Some departments of transportation state this directly. Washington’s Department of Transportation, for example, explains that private memorials are not allowed along state highways because of safety concerns and that memorial sign programs are intended to provide a safer alternative. The WSDOT Roadside Memorial Program page is unusually clear about why informal memorials create risk, including hazards for the people placing or visiting them and the potential for items to enter travel lanes.
Are Roadside Memorials Legal?
The honest answer is: it depends on where you are, and it depends on what you mean by “roadside memorial.” Many states and local jurisdictions allow some form of memorial recognition, but that does not always mean families can place their own crosses, flowers, or personal items on the shoulder whenever they want. In many places, the right-of-way is controlled by a state DOT, county, or city. On interstates and high-speed roads, rules tend to be stricter. On local roads, policies may be more flexible, or handled case-by-case.
What you will often find, especially at the state level, is a distinction between informal items placed by families and official memorial signage programs managed by the agency. These programs vary widely. Some are focused on impaired-driving prevention, some include motorcycle fatalities, and some require fees and an application process. They are not meant to replace a family’s grief ritual, but they do offer a way to create an on-roadway memorial without placing people in harm’s way.
California’s state program is a clear example. Caltrans operates a Victims Memorial Sign Program, authorized by state law, placing and maintaining signs along state highways with a safety message and the victim’s name. You can read the program description and requirements on the Caltrans page.
Texas is another example, with memorial sign programs administered through TxDOT. The public-facing overview on the TxDOT site explains eligibility requirements and costs for its memorial sign program.
Colorado maintains a similar approach through a memorial sign program that considers roadway geometry, existing signage, available right-of-way, and safety concerns when determining placement, with limitations such as restricting signs on interstates. The program details are outlined by the Colorado Department of Transportation.
Across jurisdictions, the most common legal and practical considerations tend to sound like variations on the same theme:
- Who controls the road and right-of-way (state, county, city, or private property).
- Whether informal memorials are allowed at all, or whether only an official sign program is permitted.
- Where memorials can be placed (many agencies restrict interstates and high-speed corridors).
- How long a memorial can remain before removal or required relocation.
- Size and material restrictions (low-profile items, no glass, no hazards).
- Maintenance expectations and removal policies if the memorial becomes unsafe or interferes with work.
Because the rules vary so much, the most practical first step is not guessing. It is identifying the roadway owner and checking that agency’s memorial policy or sign program. If the crash happened on a state highway, start with your state’s DOT. If it happened on a county road or within city limits, check the county highway department or city public works. If a memorial is being considered near private property (for example, on a fence line beyond the right-of-way), landowner permission becomes part of the conversation.
This article is practical guidance, not legal advice. If you are uncertain, a local funeral director, the applicable DOT office, or the agency’s public information line can usually tell you what is allowed and what will be removed.
If You Decide to Visit or Place a Memorial, Safety Comes First
Families sometimes feel torn here. The emotional part says, “We need to mark this spot.” The practical part says, “This place could hurt someone.” If you are thinking about placing anything near a roadway, consider reframing the goal. The goal is not “leave an object on a shoulder.” The goal is “create a moment of remembrance connected to this place.” Often, you can accomplish that goal in safer ways—through an official sign program, through a ritual done without leaving objects behind, or through a memorial that lives somewhere else but still honors the meaning of the location.
If you do visit the site, keep it simple and prioritize physical safety over symbolism. Go at a low-traffic time in daylight. Never stop on an interstate shoulder. Avoid parking where you would need to cross lanes. Keep children close. If there is any question about safe stopping, choose another approach. No memorial is worth creating a second tragedy.
Safer Alternatives That Still Feel Personal
When families step back from the roadway, they often discover something reassuring: remembrance does not require danger. You can honor a loved one in a way that feels intimate, visible, and lasting without tying it to a guardrail. Many families find comfort in creating a home-based or community-based memorial that is easier to visit, easier to maintain, and less likely to be removed.
One reason these alternatives matter so much is that more families are making memorial decisions around cremation than ever before. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025, more than double the projected burial rate. The Cremation Association of North America also emphasizes how widespread cremation has become and how closely the profession tracks cremation data year to year. With that shift comes a very human question: what to do with ashes in a way that feels respectful, safe, and sustainable over time.
Here are memorial approaches that many families find both safer and more enduring than a roadside display:
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An official memorial sign program, when available, which places remembrance within a structured safety framework (examples include Caltrans, TxDOT, and CDOT).
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A home memorial anchored by a primary urn, especially when the family chose cremation. Many people find that thoughtfully chosen cremation urns for ashes create a calm, dignified focal point that can be visited every day, not only on a shoulder at the edge of traffic. You can explore options in Funeral.com’s Cremation Urns for Ashes collection and use the planning framework in How to Choose a Cremation Urn That Fits Your Plans.
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A shared-remembrance approach using keepsake urns or small cremation urns, especially when multiple family members want a personal connection. Funeral.com’s Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes and Small Cremation Urns for Ashes collections are designed for families who are dividing ashes thoughtfully, rather than trying to concentrate all meaning in one place.
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Cremation jewelry for daily closeness without a roadside visit. A necklace or pendant can hold a small, symbolic portion of ashes and can be worn during anniversaries, difficult days, or moments when grief arrives unexpectedly. See Cremation Jewelry and Cremation Necklaces, along with the gentle, practical guide Cremation Jewelry: A Gentle, Practical Guide to Keeping Someone Close.
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A nature-based ritual that honors the meaning of the location without leaving objects behind—such as a memorial walk, reading a letter, or placing flowers in a safe, permitted place and taking them with you afterward. For families considering water burial or scattering over water, a thoughtful guide can reduce uncertainty and help you plan respectfully: Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony.
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A memorial plaque, bench, scholarship, or community contribution in a place where people can gather safely. This can be especially meaningful when the roadside location is too dangerous to visit, but the family still wants a public remembrance.
These alternatives are not about “moving on.” They are about moving remembrance to a place where love can be expressed without risk.
When the Roadside Memorial Is for a Pet
Roadside memorials are not only for human losses. Many people mark the place where a pet was lost suddenly—especially in the heartbreaking cases of accidents near a roadway. Pet grief is real grief, and it often comes with the same need to do something tangible. If the location is unsafe, consider giving that urge a safer home.
A pet memorial can be especially comforting when it feels like the pet. Some families choose pet urns for ashes with a photo frame or an engraved nameplate. Others choose figurine-style memorials that capture a beloved dog’s posture or a cat’s quiet elegance. Funeral.com offers dedicated options in Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes, including Pet Figurine Cremation Urns for Ashes, as well as smaller sharing pieces in Pet Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes. If you are unsure where to start, the guide Pet Urns for Ashes: A Complete Guide for Dog and Cat Owners can help you match size and style to your situation.
What matters most is not the product category. It is the emotional fit. The best pet memorial is the one that helps you breathe a little easier when you see it, the one that feels like love rather than loss.
How Funeral Planning Helps Families Avoid Regret
One reason roadside memorials can become complicated is that they often appear before a family has had time to make longer-term memorial decisions. In the first wave of grief, it is normal to focus on immediate expression: flowers, photos, a cross, a sign. Later, families often want something more durable—something they can live with for years without fearing that it will be removed overnight.
This is where funeral planning matters, even when the death was sudden. Planning does not mean making everything formal or expensive. It means creating clarity: What do we want to do with the ashes? Will we be keeping ashes at home? Will we scatter them? Will we choose a water burial urn? Do we want one primary urn, or a primary urn plus keepsakes for family members? Will someone want cremation jewelry for daily comfort?
If keeping ashes at home is part of your plan, practical guidance can help you do it safely and respectfully, especially in homes with children, pets, or frequent visitors. The Funeral.com guide Keeping Ashes at Home: How to Do It Safely, Respectfully, and Legally walks through common concerns and helps families create a home memorial that feels comforting rather than stressful.
Planning also includes the financial reality. Families deserve transparency when they ask how much does cremation cost, and understanding common price ranges can reduce pressure when decisions need to be made quickly. For a practical overview of typical costs and what influences them, see How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options.
When families put these pieces together, something important happens: the roadside location stops carrying the full weight of the memorial. The place can still matter. You can still acknowledge it. But you are no longer relying on a dangerous shoulder to hold your love.
A Gentle Way to Think About the Accident Site
Some families worry that choosing a safer alternative means abandoning the place where the death occurred. If you feel that tension, consider a softer framing. The accident site can be acknowledged without being “maintained.” You can visit once, safely, at a quiet time, and speak the words you need to speak. You can take a small stone from a safe, permitted area and place it at home near a photo. You can write a letter and read it aloud there, then keep it in a memory box. You can decide that the place is part of the story, but it is not the only place where love can live.
In many cases, the most enduring memorial is the one that supports the living. A memorial that can be visited without fear. A memorial that can be kept close without conflict. A memorial that fits your family’s long-term plans—whether that means a primary urn, keepsake urns, cremation necklaces, a pet memorial, a scattering ceremony, or a simple ritual repeated every year.
Roadside memorials exist because love reaches for the last place it can find. If you are standing in that reach right now, you are not alone. And you do have options—options that honor the meaning of the place while protecting the lives still traveling the road.
