When someone you love has served, planning their memorial can feel like you’re trying to hold two big truths at once: the pride of their service, and the tenderness of your grief. Many families also find themselves making decisions faster than they expected—about cremation, about where the ashes will rest, about whether the tribute should be public, private, or a little of both. If you’re in that place right now, it may help to know you’re not unusual for choosing cremation. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025, more than double the projected burial rate of 31.6%. The Cremation Association of North America also reports that the U.S. cremation rate was 61.8% in 2024. In other words, more and more families are navigating the same practical questions you’re asking—how to honor a life well-lived, and what to do next with the ashes.
This guide is designed to make the decisions feel calmer and more doable. We’ll walk through options for military cremation urns and veteran urns for ashes, including branch emblems and personalization. We’ll also explain VA memorial benefits in plain language—especially the VA’s va commemorative urn plaque program and how families apply using VA Form 40-1330UP. Along the way, we’ll keep the focus on real-life funeral planning: coordinating honors, choosing an urn that fits a national cemetery or private burial plan, and deciding whether you want keeping ashes at home to be part of the story.
Two Tracks That Can Work Together: VA Benefits and Personal Memorial Choices
It often helps to think of military memorial planning as two parallel tracks. One track is official: VA burial eligibility, scheduling, and military honors. The other track is personal: the objects and rituals that help your family feel connected—cremation urns, family keepsakes, or cremation jewelry that can be worn or carried quietly. Families sometimes worry these tracks might compete with each other, but they usually complement each other beautifully.
In fact, the VA makes clear that a military committal service and honors can still be part of a cremation plan. The VA’s page on military funeral honors and the committal service explains that services at national cemeteries take place at a committal shelter and typically last about 20 minutes, and that families may request military funeral honors through their funeral director. That “official” moment can stand alongside a home memorial that reflects who your Veteran was in everyday life—an urn that includes their branch emblem, a shelf with photographs, or a necklace that holds a symbolic portion of ashes.
Choosing Military and Veteran Cremation Urns That Honor Service
When families search for military cremation urns, they often picture a few familiar symbols: flags, eagles, military seals, or a medallion for the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, or Space Force. Those are meaningful options, and they’re often available in designs that range from bold and unmistakably patriotic to understated and classic. The best choice is the one that feels like your person, not just their uniform.
If you’re early in the process, a good place to start is Funeral.com’s main collection of cremation urns for ashes. From there, families who want to incorporate a branch emblem or service details often prefer urns that can be customized. The Engravable Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is especially helpful when you want to add rank, unit, dates of service, a short inscription, or a meaningful quote. If you’re leaning toward something durable and traditional, Funeral.com’s metal cremation urns for ashes can be a strong match, since metal finishes tend to hold up well for long-term display and, in many cases, cemetery placement.
Branch Emblems, Flags, and the Personal Details That Matter
For many families, the emblem is only part of the story. The details that truly feel like “him” or “her” might be their nickname, a date of enlistment, the years they served, or a simple line that captures their humor or steadiness. Engraving can also help when you want the memorial to be dignified without being visually loud. An urn can look like a classic piece of art or furniture, while still carrying a discreet line about service that means everything to the people closest to them.
If you’re coordinating a VA committal service or a private cemetery burial, it is worth asking one practical question early: will the urn be placed in a niche, buried in a grave, or kept at home? Cemetery niches can have strict size limits, and some cemeteries have container or vault requirements for in-ground burial. If your plan includes a niche, you may find it easier to choose a shape that’s naturally compact or rectangular. If your plan includes sharing ashes, many families create one central memorial urn, then use small cremation urns or keepsake urns so more than one household can keep a meaningful connection.
Military Funeral Honors With Cremation: What the Ceremony Typically Includes
Families sometimes worry that cremation means “less honor.” In practice, it does not. The ceremony can still include the solemn elements families associate with a military farewell—flag presentation, the playing of Taps, and a structured committal service. The VA’s military funeral honors and committal service guide explains that the committal service happens at a committal shelter, and that you can request military funeral honors through your funeral director. That structure often matters, especially for families who want a clear, official moment of recognition for years of service.
Many families also request a burial flag. The VA explains on its page about burial flags that the flag may be used to drape a casket or placed with an urn, and it outlines eligibility and how to apply (using VA Form 27-2008). Even if the ashes will ultimately be placed in a niche or kept at home, the flag often becomes a central part of the family’s memorial space.
VA Burial Eligibility and Scheduling for Cremated Remains
If your family is considering burial or inurnment in a VA national cemetery, the place to start is confirming eligibility and understanding the steps. The VA’s page on eligibility for burial in a VA national cemetery explains that Veterans who did not receive a dishonorable discharge may be eligible, and that some spouses and dependents may be eligible as well. For many families, that eligibility becomes the backbone of the plan, because it clarifies what is possible and what is not.
When it’s time to schedule, the VA provides step-by-step guidance on how to schedule a burial. That page explains that you or the funeral director can call the National Cemetery Scheduling Office to request a burial, and it notes that you’ll typically need discharge documents like a DD214 to establish eligibility. This is one of those moments where a funeral director who regularly serves Veterans can be invaluable, because they often know exactly what the scheduling office will ask for and how to keep the process moving.
If your plan is a private cemetery rather than a VA national cemetery, the VA still offers certain memorial items and benefits. The VA’s burial in a private cemetery page explains that eligible Veterans may receive benefits like a government headstone or marker and a medallion, and may also be eligible for a burial flag and Presidential Memorial Certificate. It also notes an important limitation: Veterans buried in a private cemetery aren’t eligible for a plaque or urn through the VA commemorative urn/plaque program.
The VA Commemorative Urn/Plaque Program: What It Is and Who It’s For
The VA’s commemorative urn and plaque program is different from the more familiar benefits tied to national cemetery burial. It exists for a specific situation: when a Veteran’s cremated remains will not be interred. In May 2024, the VA’s National Cemetery Administration announced that beginning June 10, 2024, families of deceased and cremated Veterans can apply to receive a commemorative plaque or urn if they do not want to inter their loved one in a VA national cemetery or receive a government-furnished headstone, marker, or medallion. The VA describes this program in its announcement, NCA adds options for commemorative plaques and urns, and it emphasizes that families should be certain of their choice because the decision cannot be undone.
This is the key point to understand clearly: choosing the commemorative urn or plaque is not “an extra benefit.” It is an alternative path with strict rules. The VA states on its page about headstones, markers, plaques, and urns that when you choose to get a plaque or urn for a Veteran, they will no longer be eligible for burial in a VA national cemetery, and the VA won’t provide a government headstone, marker, or medallion after you’ve received a plaque or urn. The application itself reinforces the same idea. In the VA Form 40-1330UP materials, families must certify that the remains were cremated and are not interred in any location, and the form explains that interment includes placing cremated remains in a columbarium niche.
Eligibility Basics for the Commemorative Urn or Plaque
Eligibility details can feel technical, but the idea is straightforward. The commemorative urn or plaque is meant for a Veteran whose cremated remains will not be interred. In its May 2024 announcement, the VA explains that to be eligible, the Veteran must have served in the Armed Forces on or after April 6, 1917, be eligible for a headstone or marker under applicable rules, and have cremated remains with no portion interred at any location. You can read those specifics directly in the VA’s announcement: NCA adds options for commemorative plaques and urns.
Because the rules are strict and the decision is permanent, many families talk this through with a funeral director or Veterans Service Organization before applying. If your family is considering a VA national cemetery burial now or even years from now, it’s important to recognize that requesting a commemorative urn/plaque is essentially choosing a different road.
How Families Apply Using VA Form 40-1330UP
If you decide the commemorative urn or plaque is the right fit, the VA points families to VA Form 40-1330UP. The VA’s page on headstones, markers, plaques, and urns explains that you can submit applications online (through the QuickSubmit tool), by mail, or by fax, and it provides the intake center mailing address and a phone number for help. The form itself can be downloaded here: VA Form 40-1330UP.
Before you submit, it usually helps to gather a few items so you’re not hunting through drawers at the last minute:
- A copy of the Veteran’s DD214 or other accepted discharge documents
- Basic identifying information used on VA applications (name, service details, and next-of-kin information)
- A clear decision, confirmed as a family, that the cremated remains will not be interred (including in a niche)
If you’re unsure which path is right—national cemetery burial versus the commemorative urn/plaque benefit—start by reading the VA’s main hub on VA burial benefits and memorial items. It lays out the broader landscape and can help you orient yourself before you commit to a final direction.
Keeping a Portion at Home: Keepsakes, Cremation Jewelry, and a Living Memorial
Even when families choose a national cemetery burial or a formal committal service, many still want a personal memorial at home. That is where choices like keeping ashes at home and “sharing” options can make sense. Some families keep all of the ashes at home in a single cremation urns for ashes design. Others place a portion in a cemetery and keep a portion at home. Others divide ashes among siblings so no one feels far away from the person they lost.
If sharing is part of your plan, Funeral.com’s keepsake urns are designed for small, symbolic portions, while small cremation urns are often chosen when you want a larger portion for a second household or a smaller memorial space. And for a daily, private form of connection, cremation jewelry can hold a tiny amount of ashes in a sealed compartment. Many families start with cremation necklaces because they can be worn close to the heart. If you want a gentle, practical overview of what makes a piece discreet, durable, and comfortable for everyday wear, Funeral.com’s guide Cremation Jewelry for Men and Women: Style, Discretion, and How to Choose can help you compare options without feeling rushed.
Families also ask a more basic question that deserves a calm answer: what to do with ashes when you don’t want to decide everything at once. If you want a clear explanation of what ashes are like and the full range of next steps—home placement, burial, scattering, and sharing—Funeral.com’s guide What Are Human Ashes, Really? Composition, Appearance, and What You Can Do With Them walks through the choices in plain language. And if your home plan includes safety, household comfort, and long-term etiquette, Funeral.com’s guide Keeping Ashes at Home: How to Do It Safely, Respectfully, and Legally can help you feel steadier about placement, handling, and how to talk with family members who may feel differently.
Burial, Scattering, and Water Memorials: Options Beyond the Shelf
Not every family wants the ashes to remain at home forever. Some feel drawn to a ceremony in nature: a scattering in a meaningful place, a garden, or a shoreline ritual. Others want a permanent resting place in a cemetery. And some families specifically ask about water burial. If the ocean, a lake, or a river played a role in your loved one’s life—especially for Veterans who served at sea—this can feel deeply fitting.
If you’re considering a water-based ceremony, Funeral.com’s guide Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony explains what families can expect and how biodegradable options work in real conditions. For broader legal and practical guidance on scattering—especially if travel is involved—Funeral.com’s article Scattering Ashes: Laws, Locations, and Meaningful Ideas for Saying Goodbye can help you plan respectfully and avoid last-minute surprises.
How Much Does Cremation Cost, and Where Do Memorial Items Fit In?
It’s normal to ask about money, even when the topic feels tender. Cost questions are part of responsible funeral planning, and most families are trying to balance respect with reality. If you need a realistic overview of pricing and what tends to drive costs up or down, Funeral.com’s guide How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options breaks down common scenarios in everyday language. This is also where urn decisions can become less confusing. Some cremation packages include a temporary container, but families often choose an urn later—either a full-size piece for the primary memorial, or a combination of keepsake urns and cremation jewelry when multiple people want a tangible connection.
If you want help matching your urn choice to your plan—home display, cemetery placement, travel, or sharing—Funeral.com’s article How to Choose a Cremation Urn That Actually Fits Your Plans is designed to slow the process down and make the decision feel practical instead of overwhelming.
A Brief Note for Families Also Grieving a Pet
Military families sometimes carry more than one kind of grief at once. A service member’s closest companion may have been a dog. A Veteran may have had a pet who was part of daily life through deployments, retirement, or illness. If your family is also making decisions about a companion animal, it can help to know there are equally dignified options for pet urns and pet urns for ashes. Funeral.com’s collection of pet cremation urns includes a wide range of sizes and styles, while pet figurine cremation urns can feel especially personal when a family wants a memorial that resembles the pet’s presence. For households who want to share a small portion, pet keepsake cremation urns can create a gentle way for more than one person to hold remembrance close.
Bringing It All Together: A Tribute That Feels Both Official and Personal
A Veteran’s memorial doesn’t have to be a choice between “official” and “personal.” It can be both. The official pieces—eligibility, scheduling, honors, and memorial items—exist to recognize service with dignity, and the VA’s resources on burial benefits and memorial items can help you see what you’ve earned and how to request it. The personal pieces—cremation urns that reflect identity, small cremation urns for sharing, keepsake urns, and cremation necklaces—exist to help your family live with the love you still carry.
If you feel stuck, start with one decision that reduces uncertainty. Confirm eligibility. Talk with a funeral director about scheduling. Decide whether burial or inurnment will happen in a VA national cemetery or a private cemetery. And only then, choose the memorial items that fit your plan. If you decide the VA’s commemorative urn or plaque is right for your family, be sure you understand the finality of that choice by reading the VA’s explanation on headstones, markers, plaques, and urns and reviewing VA Form 40-1330UP carefully. If you decide a national cemetery burial is part of your plan, the VA’s schedule a burial guide can help you move forward with clarity.
And when you’re ready to choose the memorial itself, Funeral.com collections like cremation urns for ashes, engraving-ready urns, and cremation jewelry are there to support a tribute that feels steady, respectful, and true.
