There are moments in grief when the smallest decisions suddenly feel enormous. You may be writing a line for a funeral program, approving an obituary, ordering a prayer card, engraving a plaque, or choosing wording for a social post—and the phrase you type feels like it has to carry an entire life.
That’s why families often circle around the same three options: “In Loving Memory,” “In Memory Of,” and “In Memoriam.” They’re all respectful. They’re all widely understood. Yet they land differently depending on the setting, the tone you want, and even the space you have available.
This guide will walk you through the differences in plain language, show you when each phrase tends to sound best, and give you examples you can adapt without feeling like you’re borrowing someone else’s voice. You’ll also find punctuation tips (so your memorial line looks polished), plus alternatives to “Rest in Peace” for families who want something more personal.
What these phrases have in common
All three phrases are, at heart, forms of memorial wording. They tell readers, “This is a dedication,” and they place the focus on remembrance rather than the details of what happened. You’ll see them on headstones, memorial plaques, funeral programs, and obituary headers because they work across beliefs, traditions, and writing styles.
Where they differ is in tone.
“In Loving Memory” leans intimate.
“In Memory Of” leans straightforward.
“In Memoriam” leans formal and traditional.
Once you decide the tone you want, the right choice often becomes obvious.
“In Loving Memory”: warm, personal, and widely used
If you want the phrase to feel like it’s coming from the heart—not from a template—“In Loving Memory” is usually the easiest fit. It carries emotion without becoming overly sentimental, and it reads naturally in nearly every format: a funeral program cover, a prayer card, a memorial candle label, a photo display, even a short social caption.
It also subtly answers the unspoken question many people have when they see a memorial: “How were they loved?” It frames the entire tribute as an act of affection.
When “In Loving Memory” sounds best
You’ll almost never regret using it when you’re writing for close family tributes (spouse, parent, child, sibling), funeral program wording (especially on the cover), prayer cards and keepsakes you’ll hand to guests, or a personal post that doesn’t need to sound formal.
“In Loving Memory” examples you can copy
You can keep it classic:
In Loving Memory of Maria Santos
In Loving Memory of Dad
Or gently personalize it:
In Loving Memory of Maria Santos, beloved mother and lola
In Loving Memory of Daniel Reyes (1981–2025), forever our steady light
If you’re short on space—like on keepsake urns or cremation necklaces—you can still keep the warmth:
In Loving Memory
Loved Always
Forever in Our Hearts
If you’re choosing wording for an engraving, it can help to browse examples first so you can picture how the words will look on a finished piece. Funeral.com’s guide Epitaph Examples: Gentle Words for Urns, Headstones, and Jewelry is a good starting point.
“In Memory Of”: clear, flexible, and slightly more neutral
“In Memory Of” is the most direct of the three. It does what it says: it signals that something is being done to honor a person who died. Merriam-Webster defines “in memory of” as something made or done to honor someone who has died.
Because it’s neutral, it’s incredibly flexible. It can feel warm or formal depending on what you place after it.
When “In Memory Of” sounds best
This phrasing tends to fit best when the setting is more formal (community memorials, organizations, public dedications), when you’re writing obituary wording that needs to stay clean and informational, or when you want the tribute to sound respectful without sounding intimate (for example, a workplace post or a group donation page).
“In Memory Of” examples you can copy
In Memory Of Dr. Elena Cruz
In Memory Of our friend and colleague, James Patel
A donation has been made in memory of Roberto Garcia.
Notice something subtle: when it appears in the middle of a sentence, “in memory of” usually looks more natural in lowercase. When it’s used as a header line—like on a plaque or program cover—title-style capitalization is common.
“In Memoriam”: formal, traditional, and often used as a heading
“In Memoriam” is a Latin phrase used especially in epitaphs and memorial headings, and it essentially means “in memory of.” Merriam-Webster defines it as “in memory of,” used especially in epitaphs.
You’ll often see it printed alone at the top of a program page, carved into stone, or used as the title of a list honoring multiple people. It carries a sense of tradition. For some families, that formality is comforting—especially when the memorial is public-facing, interfaith, or meant to feel timeless.
When “In Memoriam” sounds best
It’s a strong fit for a formal program page listing pallbearers, acknowledgments, or multiple names; a memorial plaque or dedication with limited space; a yearly remembrance post (“In memoriam: those we lost this year”); or settings where you want respectful distance rather than intimacy.
“In Memoriam” examples you can copy
In Memoriam
Anthony De la Cruz
1940–2025
In Memoriam: Our beloved classmates and friends
If you’re debating “In Memoriam” because it feels “more official,” trust your instincts—but don’t force it. If your loved one would have hated formality, a warmer line may feel more truthful.
The quickest way to choose the right phrase
For prayer cards, programs, and family tributes
Choose “In Loving Memory.” It matches the tone most families want in keepsakes.
For plaques, donations, and public acknowledgments
Choose “In Memory Of.” It’s clear and appropriate almost anywhere.
For headings, lists, and traditional memorial formats
Choose “In Memoriam.” It’s formal, classic, and widely recognized.
Punctuation and formatting tips that keep wording looking polished
Memorial lines don’t need complicated punctuation. In fact, simple is usually better. Still, a few small choices can make the finished piece look intentional—especially on printed materials or engravings.
Commas: use them when the sentence needs them, not because it “feels right”
If your memorial phrase is a header, you don’t need a comma:
In Loving Memory of Maria Santos
If you turn it into a complete sentence, punctuation depends on the structure:
We donated a bench in memory of Maria Santos.
In loving memory of Maria Santos, we planted a frangipani tree.
Periods: optional, usually unnecessary
On plaques, programs, and prayer cards, you can skip periods entirely unless you’re writing a full paragraph.
Colons: helpful on programs and social posts
A colon can make a line feel clean and modern:
In Loving Memory: Maria Santos (1952–2025)
In Memoriam: Those we carry forward
Capitalization: match the format
Title-style capitalization is common for headings: “In Loving Memory of…”
Sentence-style lowercase is common inside sentences: “a gift in memory of…”
If your wording will be engraved onto something small, you may also be working with line breaks and character limits. Many families choose pieces that can be personalized with names, dates, or a short phrase—like engravable cremation urns for ashes or cremation jewelry—and then keep longer wording for the program or obituary.
These Funeral.com collections can help you picture what’s realistic for engraving length: Cremation Urns for Ashes and Cremation Jewelry.
Where these phrases fit best in real life
Memorial plaques and engraving
Plaques often look best with fewer words. “In Loving Memory” is warm, but “In Memory Of” is sometimes easier when you’re listing names or adding a dedication line beneath. If you’re engraving for a beloved animal, the same rules apply—just with a different kind of tenderness. Families often choose pet urns for ashes that can be personalized, then add a short line that sounds like their relationship: loyal, playful, gentle, steadfast.
If you’re exploring options, Funeral.com has dedicated collections that work well for short inscriptions: Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes and Engravable Pet Urns for Ashes.
Obituaries
Obituaries often need to balance warmth with clarity. If you’re using a header line, any of the three can work. If you’re writing in paragraph form, “in memory of” tends to read most naturally inside sentences.
If you’d like a steadier structure for the full obituary (so you don’t feel like you’re reinventing the wheel while grieving), Funeral.com’s How to Write an Obituary: Step-by-Step Guide with Examples and Templates is designed for exactly that moment.
Prayer cards and funeral programs
Because these items are meant to be held, kept, and revisited, “In Loving Memory” is the most common choice. It feels like a gentle opening line. Many families pair it with a photo, dates, and a short closing phrase—sometimes religious, sometimes not.
If you’re also choosing keepsakes for family members—like keepsake urns that let you share a small portion of ashes—short, warm wording tends to fit the scale best. Funeral.com’s Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is a useful reference for what families typically engrave on smaller items.
Social posts
Social posts are personal by nature, so “In Loving Memory” often feels right. But “In Memory Of” can be ideal if you’re posting on behalf of a group, workplace, or community. “In Memoriam” works best when it’s a heading for a longer caption, photo set, or remembrance announcement.
30 tasteful alternatives to “Rest in Peace”
Some families love “Rest in Peace.” Others want something that sounds more like their person—more specific, less traditional, or less final. Here are alternatives to “Rest in Peace” that stay respectful while giving you more range:
- Rest easy
- Rest gently
- Sleep in peace
- Peace at last
- At peace
- Gone from our sight, never from our hearts
- Forever loved
- Forever missed
- Forever remembered
- Always in our hearts
- Loved beyond words
- Love lives on
- Your memory is our treasure
- Until we meet again
- In our hearts, always
- Thank you for everything
- Your love remains
- A life well lived
- A beautiful soul
- A light that never fades
- Your spirit lives on
- The song has ended, but the melody remains
- In God’s care
- In God’s peace
- Called home
- Safe in the arms of Jesus
- Beloved and remembered
- Deeply loved, dearly missed
- Gone too soon
- We will carry you
If you’re choosing wording for something permanent—like stone, metal, or engraved wood—consider reading it out loud twice: once as a statement, and once as a goodbye. The lines that hold up in both ways are usually the ones you’ll feel good about years from now.
When you want the wording to feel more personal than “perfect”
A quiet truth: you don’t have to find the “best” phrase. You have to find the phrase that feels like yours.
Sometimes that means choosing the simplest wording and letting the rest of the tribute do the talking—photos, stories, music, rituals, and the presence of people who cared. And sometimes it means placing a short line somewhere you can touch it—on a plaque, on a small urn, or on cremation necklaces that keep a loved one close in an everyday way.
If you’re exploring that kind of memorial, Funeral.com’s Cremation Necklaces for Ashes collection shows the kinds of short inscriptions families most often choose for jewelry-sized spaces.
