When someone you love dies, the idea of writing an obituary can feel impossibly heavy. You’re grieving, handling paperwork, answering calls—and now you’re supposed to “sum up” a whole person’s life in a few paragraphs. It’s a lot to hold at once.
Think of this guide as a calm, practical friend sitting beside you. We’ll walk through how to write an obituary from start to finish: what information you actually need, what to include (and what you can leave out), how long it should be, and how to find words that feel true to your loved one. Along the way, you’ll see gentle obituary examples and simple obituary templates you can adapt for a newspaper notice, a funeral home listing, or a memorial website obituary.
Because so many families today choose cremation, we’ll also show how your plans—whether that means keeping ashes in a home memorial, choosing a traditional urn, or sharing small keepsakes— can be reflected in the obituary in a way that feels natural and honest.
Why Obituaries Still Matter in a Cremation-Focused World
In the United States, most families now choose cremation over traditional burial. As cremation becomes more common, memorials have grown more personal and flexible. Some families keep a single urn at home, choosing a design from a main collection like Funeral.com’s Cremation Urns for Ashes, while others plan scattering at a favorite place, a water burial ceremony, or divide ashes into small keepsake urns so several people can each hold a part of the story close.
For some families, that might mean a single classic wood urn on a bookshelf. For others, it might mean a few small keepsake urns on bedside tables or a piece of cremation jewelry worn every day. The choices look different, but the heart behind them is the same.
In all of these scenarios, the obituary remains the story. It tells friends, extended family, and community who this person was, who loves them, and how you are choosing to remember them—whether that means a traditional burial, a sea scattering, or an intimate gathering at home with a simple urn and photographs.
An obituary doesn’t have to be fancy or poetic. It just needs to be accurate, kind, and reflective of the life it honors.
The Core Parts of an Obituary
Most obituaries follow a familiar obituary format. Once you see the core parts, writing an obituary step by step feels less overwhelming.
1. Announcement of death
This is the straightforward statement that your loved one has died. It typically includes:
- Full name
- Age
- Place of residence
- Date of death
Some families include the cause of death; others choose not to, and both options are completely acceptable.
Obituary wording idea:
Maria Elena Ramirez, 76, of Minneapolis, Minnesota, died peacefully at home on November 20, 2025, surrounded by her family.
You can keep this line simple and factual or let it feel a bit more conversational, depending on what suits your family.
2. Key life details and milestones
Next comes the “life story” portion. This is where you begin capturing a life in words—a central goal of any sample obituary for a loved one.
You might include:
- When and where they were born
- A bit about their childhood or upbringing
- Education or training
- Work or military service
- Community involvement, volunteering, or faith
- Hobbies, passions, and quirks that made them unique
You don’t have to cover every year. Instead, think in scenes and patterns:
- What did they care about deeply?
- How did they spend their time?
- What stories do people tell over and over when they talk about them?
If your loved one was passionate about the outdoors, for example, you might mention that their ashes will be scattered at a favorite lake, or that each child will keep a small keepsake urn at home to remember their time together outside.
3. Surviving family and important relationships
Most obituaries list immediate surviving family: spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings. Many also mention relatives who died before them. This section is part practical (helping readers understand family connections) and part emotional (honoring the bonds that shaped your loved one’s life).
Example:
She is survived by her husband of 52 years, Robert; their children, Alicia (James) and Daniel; four grandchildren she adored; and her sister, Ana.
If family relationships are complicated, you can keep this portion simple and gracious without going into detail. When writing an obituary for a parent, obituary for a spouse, or obituary for a grandparent, it can help to ask a sibling or close relative to double-check names and spellings.
Some families also choose to mention pets, especially if a dog or cat was a constant companion and will be remembered with a pet urn or other memorial. Collections like Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes and pet figurine urns make it possible to weave animal companions into the story in a meaningful way.
4. Service details, memorial plans, and cremation choices
Finally, the obituary explains “what happens next”: the service, gathering, or memorial—and, if you wish, your plans for burial or cremation. This part often includes:
- The type of service (funeral, memorial service, celebration of life)
- Date, time, and location
- Whether there will be visitation or calling hours
- Burial, scattering, or other plans
If your plans involve cremation, you can mention them gently:
In keeping with his wishes, James was cremated. His ashes will be kept at home in a simple urn, surrounded by photos and mementos from the travels he loved.
Or, if you’re planning a water burial or lake ceremony:
Later this summer, the family will gather for a private water burial ceremony at the lake where he spent so many weekends fishing and teaching his grandchildren to swim.
If you’re unsure how to describe these plans, the Funeral.com Journal article How to Choose a Cremation Urn That Actually Fits Your Plans (Home, Burial, Scattering, Travel) walks through common scenarios like home memorials, scattering, travel, and columbarium niches in everyday language. For water scattering and sea ceremonies, Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony offers phrasing you can adapt directly into the obituary.
Getting Ready: Details to Gather Before You Start
One of the hardest parts of obituary writing help is simply getting organized while you’re grieving. Before you sit down to write, it can be useful to gather some basic facts so you’re not constantly stopping to look things up.
Helpful details to collect include:
- Full legal name and any nicknames you may use in the obituary
- Dates and places of birth and death
- Names and spellings of close family members
- Details of the service, visitation, or celebration of life
- Final wishes—burial, cremation, donation, water burial, or other plans
If cremation is part of the plan, you may already be thinking about what to do with ashes. Some families choose a single urn from Funeral.com’s Cremation Urns for Ashes collection, picking a design that reflects their loved one’s style—classic wood, modern metal, hand-painted ceramic, or something more sculptural.
Others select small keepsake urns so multiple people can hold a portion. For pets, the Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes collection and pet figurine urns offer options that look like the animals who meant so much.
Having these decisions in mind can make it easier to align your obituary with what will actually happen in the days and weeks ahead.
Writing the Obituary, Step by Step
When you’re staring at a blank page, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Breaking the process into three passes—factual, personal, and practical—can help.
Step 1: Start with the simple facts
Begin with the basic announcement: name, age, place, date, and a brief acknowledgment of how they died (if you wish to share that). This is the most straightforward part, and once it’s written, you’ve already started.
This first paragraph is especially important in shorter notices like a newspaper listing or a funeral home website, where space is limited.
Step 2: Add warmth, personality, and stories
Next, move into the life story section. This is where obituary wording ideas and obituary examples can help you find your voice. Strong obituaries rarely list every job and achievement—they highlight what made this person feel like themselves.
Example:
Sandra will be remembered for her loud, joyful laugh, her fierce loyalty to the Chicago Cubs, and the way she never showed up without a homemade pie. Her kitchen table was always open to anyone who needed advice, a listening ear, or a second helping.
If Sandra chose cremation, you might add:
In keeping with her wishes, Sandra was cremated. Her family will keep her ashes in a simple blue urn on the kitchen shelf, alongside recipe cards and family photos that tell her story.
This kind of language connects your loved one’s personality with the way you will remember them day to day.
Step 3: List family with care and clarity
When you’re writing an obituary for someone who held a family together—like a parent, spouse, or grandparent—the list of relatives can stir up strong emotions. It’s completely normal to ask someone else to check names, spellings, and relationship details.
You can use traditional phrasing (“He is survived by…”) or something more conversational (“Those who will miss him most include…”). If your loved one’s bond with a dog, cat, or other animal was central, some families also mention a beloved pet—especially if you plan to honor them with a pet urn or keepsake.
Step 4: Close with services, memorials, and any special requests
Finish with the logistics and any special instructions:
- Date, time, and location of services or gatherings
- Whether visits, flowers, or online condolences are welcome
- Requests such as “donations in lieu of flowers”
If you’re planning to keep ashes at home, the Journal article Keeping Ashes at Home: How to Do It Safely, Respectfully, and Legally offers practical guidance on where to place the urn, safety considerations, and how to navigate different comfort levels within the family.
If some family members want something they can wear, the guide Cremation Jewelry 101: What It Is, How It’s Made, and Who It’s Right For explains how cremation jewelry works and who tends to find comfort in it. Borrowing a phrase or two from those guides can make this section easier to write.
Obituary Examples and Simple Templates You Can Adapt
The following obituary templates are meant to make things easier. You can copy them into a document and replace the bracketed sections with your own details. They’re especially helpful if you’re unsure about obituary length guidelines or the difference between a funeral obituary vs death notice.
Short obituary template (newspaper-friendly)
[Full Name], [age], of [city, state], died [peacefully/after a brief illness/suddenly] on [date] in [place of death]. [First name] was born on [date of birth] in [place of birth] to [parents’ names]. [He/She/They] [brief life details: education, work, community roles].
[First name] is survived by [spouse/partner], [children], [grandchildren], [siblings], and [other close family]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [names].
A [service type] will be held at [location] on [date] at [time], with [visitation/reception] to follow. In keeping with [First name]’s wishes, [he/she/they] was cremated, and the family will [keep the ashes at home in a memorial urn/scatter the ashes at a later date/share ashes in keepsake urns].
Longer memorial website obituary template
[Full Name], [age], passed away on [date] in [city, state], held in the love of [family members present].
Born on [date] in [place], [First name] grew up in [brief description of childhood] and went on to [education/career path]. [He/She/They] spent [number] years working as a [profession], where [he/she/they] was known for [qualities].
Outside of work, [First name] loved [hobbies, passions, causes]. Friends remember [him/her/them] for [personality traits, memories].
[First name] is survived by [list of family and close loved ones]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [predeceased relatives].
Honoring [First name]’s wishes, the family has chosen cremation. A [gathering type] will be held at [location] on [date/time], where [First name]’s ashes will be placed in a [describe urn or memorial, such as “simple oak urn,” “handcrafted ceramic urn,” or “shared among family members in small keepsake urns”]. Those who wish to remember [First name] are invited to [attend/share memories online/make a donation].
On a memorial website, you’re not limited by word count, so you can add photos, longer stories, and mention keepsakes like cremation jewelry or small urns without worrying about space. This is where online obituary tips and memorial website tools can help you share stories over time.
Where and How to Publish an Obituary
Once you have a draft, you’ll decide where to publish it. That choice affects both your obituary length guidelines and how much an obituary costs.
Many newspapers now charge by the line, word, or column inch. An average newspaper obituary can range from modest fees for short notices to several hundred dollars or more for longer tributes in large metropolitan papers. Online obituaries through funeral homes or dedicated memorial sites are often less expensive, and some are free.
Because prices and length limits vary widely, it’s wise to:
- Ask the newspaper or website for their pricing and character or word limits
- Decide whether you want a short death notice plus a longer obituary on a memorial website
- Keep the newspaper version factual and concise, saving stories and photos for an online version
At the same time, you may also be thinking about overall funeral costs. National median figures show that a funeral with viewing and burial generally costs more than a funeral with cremation. If you’re still weighing options, Funeral.com’s cremation-cost guide, How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options , can help you see how choices like urns, printed programs, and keepsakes fit into the full picture.
If you lean toward an online or memorial website obituary, you’ll have more freedom. You can:
- Include longer stories and multiple photos
- Add details about cremation urns, pet urns, or cremation jewelry
- Link to a memorial fund, charity, or other grief resources
For many families, this kind of online memorial becomes the place where stories and photos continue to gather long after the service is over.
Connecting the Words to the Memorial Itself
One of the gifts of today’s funeral landscape is the ability to match your loved one’s story with the way you keep their memory close. The obituary can gently hint at that connection.
If you plan to keep a single urn at home, you might choose something from a main cremation urn collection that reflects their style—classic wood, modern metal, hand-painted ceramic, or sculptural designs. If sharing feels right, keepsake urns and small urns let children, grandchildren, or close friends each have a small, tangible remembrance.
For animal companions, pet urns, pet figurine cremation urns, and pet keepsake urns offer ways to honor a dog or cat who felt like family. The Journal article Pet Urns for Ashes: A Complete Guide for Dog and Cat Owners walks through sizes, designs, and personalization options in more depth if you want more ideas.
When you mention these choices in an obituary, it doesn’t have to sound like a catalog. A single sentence like “Her ashes will be kept at home in a simple urn surrounded by photos and letters” or “His ashes will be shared among his children in small keepsake urns” is enough to connect the story on the page with the memorial in real life.
Moving Forward, One Sentence at a Time
There is no perfectly written obituary—only honest ones.
If you feel stuck, you can:
- Start with the simple facts
- Add one or two stories that feel most like “them”
- Let the rest be enough for now
You can always refine the language later, but what matters most is that you’ve taken the time to say, in public, “This life mattered.”
When you’re ready to plan the memorial itself, the Funeral.com Journal includes practical guides on funeral planning, what to do with ashes, online obituary tips, memorial websites, and common questions like “how much does cremation cost?” or “what kind of urn should we choose?” You don’t have to do everything at once. One sentence, one decision, one small act of love at a time is more than enough.
