At some point in the first hours after a death, a house changes. The air is different. The rooms feel quieter than they should. People do practical things—make calls, find paperwork, move chairs—while also doing something less practical and very human: they mark the boundary between “before” and “after.” One of the most recognizable ways families have done that is covering mirrors after death.
If you grew up seeing it, the gesture can feel as ordinary as turning down the TV. If you didn’t, it can feel sudden and mysterious. People ask, why cover mirrors when someone dies? Is it a mirror superstition soul story, a religious custom, a Victorian-era ritual, or simply a way to make a home feel less exposed when grief is raw?
The honest answer is that it has meant different things in different places, and that’s part of what makes it enduring. The practice shows up across grief customs traditions because mirrors are more than glass. They are a daily symbol of the living—appearance, identity, self-recognition. In mourning, that “self” can feel unfamiliar, even unwanted. Covering mirrors is one quiet way of saying: right now, we are not performing life. We are living through something, together.
What Covering a Mirror Is Really Doing
A mirror reflects you back to yourself, whether you asked for that reflection or not. In ordinary time, that can be useful. In grief, it can be startling. Many families describe a particular moment: walking past a mirror and catching their own face, swollen with crying or blank with shock, and feeling almost startled by their own existence. The mirror becomes a kind of interruption.
So in the most grounded sense, the custom functions like a gentle environmental adjustment. It reduces visual noise and creates a calmer interior space for mourning. That’s why even when the story behind it is framed as superstition after death, the emotional mechanism can be deeply practical.
The symbolism runs deeper too. In many traditions, death is treated as a threshold—a moment when the boundary between worlds is felt as thin. Mirrors, because they appear to open into another “space,” have often been treated as liminal objects. The result is a long history of death rituals mirrors, where covering or turning mirrors is one way of closing a doorway, or at least signaling that this is not ordinary time.
Jewish Shiva and the Idea of Turning Inward
One of the best-known modern contexts for this custom is Jewish mourning, where mirrors are commonly covered during shiva. Contemporary explanations vary, but a consistent theme is that mourning is not a time for self-focus or self-adornment. It is a time for community support, prayer, and remembrance.
In a widely read explanation, Chabad.org describes mystical and psychological framings that link the covered mirror to the emotional intensity of grief and the desire to avoid harsh self-judgment at a vulnerable time. The same article also shows how “spiritual” explanations can be translated into human terms without fear-based messaging.
Other reporting emphasizes a more direct, modern reading: covering mirrors helps mourners “look inward” rather than outward. The Forward summarizes how folk ideas about spirits and reflections sit alongside rabbinic interpretations that emphasize introspection and humility during mourning.
If you want a more scholarly view of how different rabbinic sources have discussed the practice, the article “Covering Mirrors in the Shivah Home” in Hakirah explores how some explanations connect mirror covering (or turning mirrors around) with older mourning practices and concepts of human dignity and restraint.
The important takeaway for families today is simple: in Jewish practice, covering mirrors is not meant to frighten mourners. It is meant to create a home environment that supports mourning as a sacred, communal process. If your family is sitting shiva, the kindest approach is to treat the custom as a container for grief, not a test of superstition.
Victorian Mourning, Scottish and Irish Traditions, and “Closing the House”
Outside explicitly religious practice, the covered mirror appears again and again in 19th-century Anglo-American and British Isles mourning customs. In these contexts, it often appears alongside other household rituals—stopping clocks, drawing curtains, and creating a temporary stillness in the home.
For example, the historical overview “Victorian Funeral Customs and Superstitions” from Friends of Oak Grove Cemetery describes the practice of covering mirrors with crape or veiling, framed as a way to prevent the deceased’s spirit from becoming trapped. On the UK side, Beckett Street Cemetery similarly notes the practice of covering mirrors in Victorian ritual, describing beliefs about spirits and portals alongside the social expectations of mourning.
In Scotland, the practice also appears in folk custom accounts that pair mirror-covering with other household actions taken at the moment of death. Random Scottish History includes an account describing clocks being stopped and mirrors covered “in a similar manner,” reflecting how these gestures functioned as a shared community script for grief.
In Ireland, the custom is often mentioned as part of wake traditions. RIP.ie notes that mirrors may be covered or turned to the wall during a wake or viewing, again pairing the gesture with other ways a household is prepared for mourning.
Across these variations, the practice is less about “believing” and more about “marking.” It creates a temporary environment where grief is allowed to be the dominant reality, without everyday life insisting on normal appearance.
Chinese Funeral Customs and the Fear of a Coffin’s Reflection
In some Chinese funeral customs, mirrors are treated very carefully during the period of mourning and the wake. One explanation focuses on the danger of seeing a coffin reflected in a mirror—a belief that the reflection can draw misfortune or another death into the family.
An overview of customs published by the U.S. Ministry of Commerce site describing Chinese traditions notes that when a death occurs, mirrors may be removed from sight because “one who sees the reflection of a coffin in a mirror will shortly have a death in his/her family.” See the Ministry of Commerce summary.
Even if a modern family does not hold that belief literally, the underlying intent is recognizable: a mirror can turn a solemn space into something unsettling. Removing mirrors reduces the chance of jarring images—especially in homes where the coffin is present or where a wake is held.
So What Was the Tradition Meant to Prevent?
If you zoom out from the details, most explanations fall into a handful of themes. You’ll see them across cultures, sometimes framed as folklore and sometimes framed as psychology:
- Preventing the spirit from lingering or becoming “caught” in reflection, a common strand of funeral folklore in Victorian and folk explanations.
- Reducing vanity and self-focus during mourning, especially in traditions that emphasize humility and inward reflection during grief.
- Avoiding unsettling images during wakes or viewings—your own face in shock, or (in some traditions) the coffin reflected in glass.
- Protecting the household by symbolically “closing” liminal objects during a time when death feels close and the home feels exposed.
- Creating a visible sign that ordinary life is paused, which supports mourners who need permission to step out of social performance.
It can help to name what these themes share: they all aim to make grief safer. Not safer in a supernatural sense, necessarily, but safer as an experience. Less startling. Less performative. Less chaotic.
How to Honor the Custom Today Without Fear-Based Messaging
If covering mirrors is part of your family’s mourning practices, you can honor it in a way that feels steady and compassionate—without turning it into a story meant to scare children or pressure adults. The key is to treat the practice as a choice that supports grief, not as a rule that wards off punishment.
Some families cover only the mirrors in shared spaces, where guests will gather and emotions will run high. Others turn a mirror to face the wall. Some cover mirrors for the first day or two, then uncover them when the house feels less raw. If your tradition specifies a time period (as in Jewish shiva cover mirrors), it’s reasonable to follow the guidance of your community or clergy.
If you’re explaining the custom to children, consider leading with meaning rather than threat. You might say: “We cover mirrors because right now we’re focusing on remembering and taking care of each other, not on how we look.” That explanation aligns with the inward-focus framing described by The Forward and avoids the fear that sometimes creeps into older stories.
And if your family is divided—one person wants the ritual, another finds it uncomfortable—you can treat it as you would any other grief practice: let it be localized. Cover the mirror in one room. Keep one bathroom mirror uncovered. Find a compromise that respects both emotional needs. Grief is hard enough without turning a household tradition into a conflict.
Where This Meets Modern Funeral Planning and Cremation Decisions
Covered mirrors are an old custom, but the emotional situation behind them is very current: families are still trying to find their footing in the days after a loss. And in the U.S., more families are doing that while navigating cremation and memorial choices at home.
According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025 (with burial projected at 31.6%). The Cremation Association of North America reports a 61.8% U.S. cremation rate in 2024 and publishes annual updates on cremation trends. Those numbers matter because they translate into a simple reality: more families are asking what comes next, and many of those decisions happen at home.
Sometimes, a family covers mirrors and then realizes the next “home question” is not about mirrors at all, but about the container on the table. If you are choosing cremation urns, it can help to start with the plan rather than the product. A primary memorial urn is different from a shareable keepsake. A home display is different from a cemetery placement. A scattering plan is different from a long-term shelf placement.
If you are browsing options, Funeral.com’s collection of cremation urns for ashes is a broad starting point, and the collections for small cremation urns and keepsake urns are especially helpful when a family is sharing ashes across households. If you want a calmer explanation of how keepsakes actually work (and why families choose them), see Keepsake Urns Explained.
For pet families, the same emotional dynamics show up—sometimes even more intensely, because the absence is woven into every daily routine. Funeral.com’s collections for pet urns and pet cremation urns, pet figurine cremation urns, and pet keepsake cremation urns give families a way to choose something that feels like their companion, not like a generic container. If you want a practical walk-through, see pet urns for ashes guide.
For families who want closeness that moves with them, cremation jewelry can function like a “covered mirror” in reverse: it’s not about hiding reflection, but about carrying love privately, without display. You can explore cremation necklaces and cremation charms and pendants, and if you want the practical basics (materials, sealing, filling), Funeral.com’s Cremation Jewelry 101 and Cremation Necklaces guide can make the process feel less intimidating.
Two other questions often arrive in the same week: keeping ashes at home, and cost. If you are wondering about home storage, Keeping Cremation Ashes at Home walks through legality, safety, and display ideas in plain language. And if you are trying to understand how much does cremation cost, Funeral.com’s 2025 cremation cost guide provides a practical breakdown for budgeting decisions without shame or pressure.
Finally, when families say water burial, they may mean scattering at sea, or they may mean placing a biodegradable urn in the water. If you are considering that path, Water Burial and Burial at Sea clarifies what the terms mean and how families plan the moment. And if you are still deciding among multiple options, what to do with ashes offers a broad, family-centered set of ideas that can evolve over time.
Keeping the Heart of the Tradition
In the end, covering mirrors is less about believing one story and more about honoring one truth: grief is disorienting. It changes how a room feels, how time moves, how your own face can look unfamiliar in a hallway mirror. The tradition persists because it meets people where they are—shaken, tender, and trying to create a little protection for the mind and heart.
If you choose to cover mirrors, you are not required to tell a fearful tale to justify it. You can simply say: this is how we make space for mourning. This is how we slow down. This is how we honor someone we love. And when the time comes, uncovering the mirrors can become its own gentle ritual—an acknowledgment that life is continuing, not by forgetting, but by learning how to carry what matters forward.
