There’s a moment that happens to almost everyone: you hear that someone has died, your chest tightens, and you open your phone to send a message—then freeze. You care. You don’t want to disappear. But you also don’t want to say something that lands wrong on the hardest day of someone’s life.
If you’re searching for condolence text messages or what to text when someone dies, you’re not looking for poetry. You’re looking for a simple way to show up with warmth, without making grief heavier. And the truth is: a text can be small and still matter. It can be a hand on the shoulder from a distance. It can be a reminder that someone is not alone.
This guide gives you ready-to-send sympathy text messages for close friends, coworkers, and family—plus a clear section on what to avoid and how to follow up after the funeral, when support often gets quiet.
What makes a condolence text feel supportive (not awkward)
The most helpful grief support texts tend to do three gentle things: they acknowledge what happened, they name care without trying to “fix” anything, and they offer support that fits your relationship. Writers at Hallmark emphasize that sympathy messages don’t need to be long to be meaningful—what matters most is that they’re sincere and personal. If you don’t know what to say, that’s okay. Grief is tender, and “simple and true” almost always lands better than “long and impressive.”
It also helps to remember that grief can make it hard to process anything all at once. A short message a person can reread later can be a quiet kind of steadiness. And support shouldn’t end after the service—many people feel the loneliness most sharply in the days and weeks afterward. The National Institute on Aging notes that routines and social life can feel overwhelming after a death, which is one reason gentle check-ins—without pressure—can matter.
A simple formula you can use every time
When you’re stuck, use this three-part structure. It works for short condolence messages, longer notes, and even sympathy card wording you might later write on flowers or a card.
Acknowledge: “I’m so sorry to hear about [Name].”
Care: “I’m thinking of you / I’m holding you in my heart.”
Support: “No need to reply. I’m here. I can help with [specific thing] if you’d like.”
If you can name the person who died—and you’re confident that’s appropriate—doing so often makes your message feel more personal. If you can offer something specific (a meal, a ride, a school pickup, a call to a relative), that can reduce emotional labor for the grieving person.
35+ ready-to-send condolence text messages
Below are condolence message examples you can copy, paste, and personalize. If you want even more variations for different relationships and situations, you can also browse Funeral.com’s guides like What to Say When Someone Dies and Short Condolence Messages.
Very short condolence texts (when words feel impossible)
I’m so sorry. I’m thinking of you.
No words—just love. I’m here.
I’m heartbroken for you. I’m so sorry.
Holding you and your family in my thoughts.
I just heard. I’m so sorry. I’m here whenever you need.
Sending love. No need to reply.
I’m thinking of you today and in the days ahead.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here with you.
Texts for a close friend
I’m so sorry, friend. I love you. Do you want company, or do you want quiet? Either is okay.
I can’t imagine how heavy this feels. I’m here—today, tomorrow, and after the funeral too.
I’m so sorry about [Name]. I keep thinking about how much they loved you.
I’m bringing dinner by at [time]. If you’d rather not have visitors, I’ll leave it at the door.
I’m here to listen, sit in silence, or talk about anything else. You don’t have to carry this alone.
If texting is easier than talking, I’m here in this thread whenever you need.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What’s one small thing that would make today 5% easier?
I’m thinking of you and remembering [Name]—I loved hearing your story about [small memory].
Texts for a coworker or professional relationship
I’m very sorry for your loss. Please take the time you need—we’ve got work covered.
Thinking of you and your family. If you need anything work-related handled, I can help.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No need to respond—just wanted you to feel supported.
Please accept my condolences. I’m here if you need flexibility or help with deadlines.
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. If it helps, I can take [specific task] this week.
Holding you in my thoughts. Please take care of yourself—work can wait.
I’m so sorry. If you need someone to coordinate anything with the team, I’m happy to step in.
I’m thinking of you. When you’re ready, we can talk about what support you need at work.
Texts for close family (sibling, cousin, aunt/uncle) or someone you’ve known a long time
I’m so sorry, [Name]. I’m grieving with you. I’m here for anything you need.
I love you. I’m coming by tomorrow to help with whatever needs doing—laundry, food, calls. You pick.
I’m so sorry about [Name]. I’m holding you close in my heart.
Do you want me to handle a practical thing today—rides, meals, childcare, phone calls?
I’m here, and I’m not in a rush. We’ll take this one day at a time together.
I’m so sorry. If you want to talk about [Name], I’m here for stories, tears, or quiet.
I’m thinking of you nonstop. I can stay on standby today if you need quick help.
I love you. No need to reply—just know I’m with you.
Texts when you didn’t know the person well (or you’re reaching out after time has passed)
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m thinking of you and your family.
I just heard about [Name]. I’m very sorry. If there’s anything you need, I’m here.
I’m sorry I’m reaching out late—I’ve been thinking of you and wanted to send my condolences.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No need to respond—just sending care.
I’m holding you in my thoughts. I’m here if support would be helpful.
I’m sorry for your loss. If you’d like, I can drop off a meal or run an errand this week.
I’m thinking of you today. If you ever want someone to listen, I’m here.
I’m very sorry. Please be gentle with yourself in the days ahead.
Follow-up texts (the ones people remember weeks later)
Just checking in today. No need to reply—I’m thinking of you.
I know the support fades after the service. I’m still here. How are you holding up this week?
I was thinking about [Name] today and wanted to send love. If you want to share a memory, I’d love to hear it.
I’m dropping off dinner tomorrow. If you’d rather not have contact, I’ll leave it at the door.
Do you want company for a walk or coffee this week? No pressure—just an open invitation.
I’m thinking of you as you navigate all the “firsts.” I’m here if you want a distraction or support.
It’s been a few weeks and I wanted to say your grief still matters. I’m here.
I remembered something about [Name] that made me smile today. Sending you love.
What not to say in a condolence text (and what to say instead)
Most people reach for clichés because they want to help. But certain phrases can feel like a dismissal, a judgment, or a push to “move on.” The Mayo Clinic Health System notes that common lines like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason” can minimize feelings and shut down conversation. And Speaking Grief offers a useful gut-check: if what you’re about to say basically ends with “so don’t feel so bad,” it probably won’t help.
Here are a few common missteps—followed by better alternatives you can actually send, especially if you’re trying to figure out what to say to a grieving friend without making them manage your discomfort.
Phrases to avoid
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“They’re in a better place.” (Unless you are certain the grieving person shares that belief and finds comfort in it.)
“At least they lived a long life.”
“I know exactly how you feel.”
“Be strong.”
“Let me know if you need anything.” (Not wrong, but often too vague in the fog of grief.)
Better replacements that show care without pressure
“I’m so sorry. This is heartbreaking.”
“I’m here with you. You don’t have to respond.”
“I can’t imagine how painful this is, but I’m here to listen.”
“I’m thinking of you and remembering [Name].”
“I’m bringing dinner on Thursday—does 6 pm work?”
“Would a quick call help, or would you prefer texts only right now?”
When to text (and when a call or card may be better)
If you’re close to the person grieving, texting quickly can be a kindness—especially if you add “No need to reply.” If you’re not close, a simple text is still better than silence. Many people avoid reaching out because they fear getting it wrong, but a short, sincere message usually lands as support.
Sometimes, though, a text should be the start—not the whole response. A handwritten card can feel deeply personal, and it’s often kept. If you want guidance that translates easily from text to card, Funeral.com’s How to Write a Sympathy Note is a helpful companion. And if you’re trying to navigate funeral etiquette messages—what to write on flowers, what to say in person, and what to avoid—Funeral.com’s How to Offer Condolences can steady you before you walk into a service or send a note.
If you’re planning to send flowers and you’re unsure what’s appropriate, the wording on the card can be even shorter than your text. For practical guidance on timing and tone, see Funeral Flower Etiquette and Sympathy Messages That Don’t Sound Generic.
How to follow up after the loss (without being intrusive)
One of the kindest things you can do is keep showing up when everyone else goes quiet. The first few days may be crowded with notifications and logistics. Then the funeral ends, the house empties, and grief becomes less visible to the world—while still very present for the person living it.
Follow-ups don’t need to be frequent or intense. They just need to be real. A small check-in can be a lifeline, especially when you make it easy to receive: “No need to reply.” “Just sending love.” If you want to offer condolences in a way that reduces emotional labor, offer one concrete option at a time—food drop-off, a ride, a chore, a short walk.
You can also follow up with a gentle offer of ongoing care: “I’ll check in next week too.” That kind of steady presence matters because grief doesn’t wrap up on a schedule. If you’d like ideas for what to do beyond words, Funeral.com’s Bereavement Gift Ideas That Actually Help can help you choose support that feels practical and considerate.
Simple follow-up rhythms that work
The next day: a short “thinking of you” text with no expectation of a reply.
One week later: a practical offer (“I can drop off groceries Thursday.”).
After the service: a message that acknowledges the quiet (“I know it’s different now that the funeral is over—I’m here.”).
One month later: a memory-based message that honors the person who died (“I keep thinking of [Name] and their laugh.”).
Anniversaries and “firsts”: a gentle check-in on birthdays, holidays, or the first Mother’s/Father’s Day.
If you’re worried about saying the perfect thing
The “perfect” message doesn’t exist. What exists is presence. When you send condolence text messages with sincerity, you’re telling someone: you matter, your loss matters, and you don’t have to carry this alone. If you keep it simple, avoid forced meaning-making, and offer support that fits your relationship, you’re already doing the most important thing—showing up.
If you want additional templates for specific situations (texts, cards, coworkers, and short notes), you can explore Funeral.com’s related guides: Condolence Messages That Actually Help, What to Say When Someone Dies, and Funeral Thank-You Card Etiquette for what comes after, when families begin acknowledging the support they received.
