If you have surviving children, you find yourself suddenly overprotective, not wanting to allow them out of your sight. Yet you feel like a bad parent because it’s so difficult to focus on their needs when you’re hurting so bad yourself.
You find that your remaining family at home grieves the loss differently and you search for a common ground which seems difficult to find.
You’ve been told by well-meaning people, even professionals, that 70-80-90 percent of all couples divorce after their child dies. You are relieved to find that new studies show a much lower divorce rate, from 12-16%, believed to be caused by the “shared experience” aspect of the situation.
Old friends seem to fade away as you learn they cannot comprehend the extent or length of your grief.
Things you liked to do which seemed so important before now seem meaningless.
Others say you’ll someday find “closure,” not understanding that closure never applies when it is the death of your child.
Fleeting thoughts of pleasurable activities bring about feelings of guilt. If you child can’t have fun, how can you do anything that brings you enjoyment?
New friends come into your life who understand some of your grief because they’ve been there themselves.
