Family & Social. When your child has died.

  • If you have surviving children, you find yourself suddenly overprotective, not wanting to allow them out of your sight. Yet you feel like a bad parent because it’s so difficult to focus on their needs when you’re hurting so bad yourself.
  • You find that your remaining family at home grieves the loss differently and you search for a common ground which seems difficult to find.
  • You’ve been told by well-meaning people, even professionals, that 70-80-90 percent of all couples divorce after their child dies. You are relieved to find that new studies show a much lower divorce rate, from 12-16%, believed to be caused by the “shared experience” aspect of the situation.
  • Old friends seem to fade away as you learn they cannot comprehend the extent or length of your grief.
  • Things you liked to do which seemed so important before now seem meaningless.
  • Others say you’ll someday find “closure,” not understanding that closure never applies when it is the death of your child.
  • Fleeting thoughts of pleasurable activities bring about feelings of guilt. If you child can’t have fun, how can you do anything that brings you enjoyment?
  • New friends come into your life who understand some of your grief because they’ve been there themselves.