When You Have Multiple Pets: How to Help the Surviving Pet Adjust After a Death

When You Have Multiple Pets: How to Help the Surviving Pet Adjust After a Death


In a multi-pet home, grief rarely arrives as a single event. It arrives as a shift in the whole household ecosystem. The quiet where a familiar presence used to be is real for you, and it can be real for the animals who remain, too. Food bowls still sit in their places. The sun still lands on the same patch of carpet. The routine still tries to run on schedule. And yet the “pack” has changed, which means your surviving pet may change, too.

If you’re asking do pets grieve other pets, you’re not alone. Veterinarians and behavior professionals consistently describe grief-like responses in dogs and cats after a companion dies. Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine notes that surviving pets may seek attention more, appear anxious or withdrawn, and show changes in eating, playing, and sleeping, while also pointing out an important truth: sometimes what looks like grief is also a response to changes in human emotion and household routine. In other words, surviving pet grief can be both “missing them” and “everything feels different now.”

That distinction matters, because it points toward what helps most: steady, predictable care, paired with gentle, intentional ways to acknowledge what happened. You do not need to “fix” your pet’s sadness. You’re trying to rebuild a sense of safety and normalcy, one ordinary day at a time.

What Grief Can Look Like in a Surviving Dog or Cat

Some pets show grief in obvious ways: pacing, vocalizing, searching, following you from room to room. Others show it in quiet, inward ways: sleeping more, hiding, playing less, or seeming unusually “flat.” VCA Animal Hospitals describes common behavior changes after a loss and emphasizes that dogs and cats can be sensitive to both the absence of a companion and the emotional tone of the humans in the home. VCA also references research indicating that a majority of pets show multiple behavior changes after losing a companion, which aligns with what families report every day: the surviving pet’s world has been rearranged.

In a multi-pet household, there can also be a second layer: the social structure shifts. One pet may become more assertive. Another may retreat. If the pet who died was a “leader” in the group, the remaining animals may look unsettled for a while as they re-map their roles. This is one reason it’s worth paying attention to subtle tension between surviving pets, even if you’ve never seen conflict before.

At the same time, it helps to keep your expectations realistic. Many changes are normal in the first days and weeks, especially if your own routines have been disrupted. The goal is not to demand a quick return to baseline. The goal is to support steady recovery and to notice when something seems to be worsening rather than slowly easing.

Routines Are Not Cold; They Are Comfort

When people are grieving, routine can feel harsh, as if life is moving forward without permission. For pets, routine is often the opposite: it is reassurance. It says, “You are safe. The basics still happen. You are still cared for.” This is why the simplest guidance tends to be the most effective: keep schedules as consistent as you reasonably can, especially around meals, medication, walks, and bedtime.

If your surviving pet is a dog, keep the walk times close to normal, even if the walks are shorter at first. If your surviving pet is a cat, keep feeding, litter box cleaning, and interactive play at consistent times. Consistency reduces uncertainty, and reduced uncertainty reduces stress behaviors that can look like grief “getting worse.”

This is also where gentle exercise can do quiet work. You do not need to push a grieving pet into high-energy play. Think of movement as regulation. A slow sniff-walk, a calm game of fetch, a few minutes with a wand toy, or even a short training session with easy cues can help your pet’s nervous system settle. VCA notes that supportive interaction and consistent routine can help pets cope after a loss, which is exactly what this kind of steady, low-pressure activity provides.

Appetite Changes: When to Wait, When to Call the Vet

One of the most common and most stressful changes for families is appetite. A surviving pet may eat less because eating was social with the companion who died. They may eat more quickly because they feel uncertain. Or they may refuse meals in a way that feels alarming.

There is no universal “right” timeline, but there is a helpful rule: watch closely, and treat persistent appetite changes as medical until proven otherwise. Cornell advises that any persistent change in behavior warrants a physical exam, and specifically flags not eating or drinking and changes in urination or defecation as reasons not to assume it is “just grief.” If your pet is skipping meals, losing weight, vomiting, having diarrhea, acting painful, hiding continuously, or seems lethargic in a way that feels out of character, call your veterinarian. That call is not overreacting; it is good stewardship.

For many pets, the first step is simply making the environment easier. Feed in a calm spot. Remove pressure from mealtimes. Offer the same food on the same schedule, but reduce fussing, because fussing can accidentally teach a pet that refusing food gets extra attention. If your household previously fed pets side-by-side, consider feeding separately for a while so the surviving pet can eat without scanning for the missing companion. If you have more than one surviving animal, separate feeding also prevents stress and resource guarding while the group is emotionally unsettled.

Searching, Clinginess, and Withdrawal

Searching behavior can be heartbreaking to witness: a dog checking rooms, sniffing beds, waiting by a door; a cat walking the house and vocalizing. In many cases, this is a form of adjustment, not misbehavior. It tends to soften as the new pattern becomes familiar. You can support that shift by keeping daily rhythms predictable and by giving the searching a gentle “landing place.” That might mean offering a familiar bed in a consistent spot, creating a quiet rest area, or sitting with your pet during the time of day when searching tends to spike.

Clinginess can show up as “velcro behavior,” where your surviving pet wants to be near you constantly. Sometimes this is comfort-seeking, and sometimes it tips into true separation distress. A practical approach is to offer extra connection when you are home while also protecting your pet’s ability to settle independently. Calm affection, predictable routines, and enrichment that keeps your pet occupied for short stretches can help rebuild resilience without forcing separation too abruptly.

Withdrawal is the other common pattern: the pet who used to greet visitors stops coming out, or the dog who loved toys ignores them. Here, the goal is to keep invitations gentle and consistent rather than persuasive. Sit on the floor. Offer brief play. Speak softly. Let the pet choose engagement, and praise the smallest steps toward normal behavior. Over time, those small steps often accumulate into “they’re a little more themselves again.”

Should You Remove the Deceased Pet’s Items or Keep Them?

This is one of the hardest questions because it is both practical and emotional. The honest answer is that there is no single correct approach. Some surviving pets find comfort in familiar scents. Others seem distressed by beds, bowls, and toys that “should” belong to someone who is no longer there. Many families end up using a gradual approach: keep a few items for a little while, remove the ones that trigger searching or agitation, and slowly shift the environment as your surviving pet stabilizes.

If you want guidance that blends practicality with gentleness, Funeral.com’s article From Collars to Paw Prints: Meaningful Memorial Ideas for a Pet Who Has Died offers a compassionate way to think about items as “chosen keepsakes” rather than “everything must stay” or “everything must go.” That framing can help you decide what to preserve for memory while also making the home livable for the pets who remain.

In many multi-pet homes, it helps to consolidate rather than erase. For example, instead of leaving every item where it was, you might gather a collar, a favorite toy, and a photo into one small memorial spot. This can reduce the feeling that your home is filled with absence, while still honoring the pet who died in a visible and intentional way.

Memorial Choices That Support the Household

Grief has an emotional side and a practical side, and pet loss is no exception. If your pet was cremated, you may be holding questions that feel surprisingly “big” for something that comes in a small bag or box: what to do with ashes, whether keeping ashes at home will feel comforting or too intense, and how to choose a memorial that fits your family and your space.

Funeral.com’s guide Keeping Ashes at Home: How to Do It Safely, Respectfully, and Legally walks through practical placement and household considerations in a way that is especially helpful when you also have surviving pets who may investigate a new object in the home. A stable surface, a low-traffic location, and a setup that feels calm rather than cluttered often makes the memorial feel like a place of comfort instead of a daily ambush.

If you’re choosing a vessel for your pet’s remains, start with the simplest question: do you want a primary resting place that is visible, private, or somewhere in between? A visible memorial might be a framed urn in a living room corner, while a private memorial might be a secure container placed inside a cabinet with a photo. Either way, the goal is the same: a safe, respectful home for the remains, paired with a sense of intention.

Families who want a central tribute often begin with pet urns and pet urns for ashes that fit their pet’s size and their home’s style. If you want the memorial to feel like art as well as remembrance, pet figurine cremation urns can capture personality in a way that feels tender rather than clinical. If personalization matters to your family, engraved options for pet cremation urns can add a name, dates, or a short phrase without turning the memorial into a “display” you have to emotionally manage every day.

In multi-pet families, there is also a practical reason smaller pieces can help: different people bond differently, and grief can be shared across households. If you want to share a portion of remains with a spouse, a child, or a close friend, keepsake urns for pets can hold a small portion while the primary urn remains in one place. This “one central memorial plus a few smaller keepsakes” approach is often emotionally gentler than trying to make one single choice carry every need.

Some families also find comfort in wearable remembrance, especially when grief hits unexpectedly in the middle of normal life. Cremation jewelry is designed to hold a very small portion of ashes, and cremation necklaces are one of the most common styles for daily wear. If you want a clear, practical explanation of how it works and what it can hold, Funeral.com’s Cremation Jewelry 101 is a helpful, no-pressure starting point.

Why These Decisions Are More Common Than They Used to Be

Many families are surprised by how often cremation decisions show up in modern grief, both for people and for pets. Part of that is simply cultural change. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025, and the organization projects continued growth through 2045. The Cremation Association of North America similarly reports a U.S. cremation rate of 61.8% for 2024. As cremation becomes the norm, more families find themselves living with urns in the home, deciding how to share remains, and learning that memorialization can be flexible and personal rather than one rigid tradition.

That wider trend is also why people increasingly seek options like cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, and keepsake urns for human memorials. Even if your current loss is a pet, it is common for pet loss to stir up broader family conversations about funeral planning, what you would want, and how you might make future decisions easier for the people (and pets) you love.

Cost Questions Are Part of Real Life

Families often feel guilty for asking financial questions in the middle of grief, but money questions are not a betrayal; they are part of responsible care. If you have found yourself wondering how much does cremation cost, you are naming a reality that many families face at the same time they are trying to function emotionally. Funeral.com’s guide How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options explains common cost drivers and where choices exist, which can reduce the fear that you are going to make an irreversible decision in a fog.

And if your family is simultaneously navigating a human loss or thinking ahead, Funeral.com’s planning resources, including How to Plan a Funeral in 7 Steps and How to Choose a Funeral Home, can make funeral planning feel less like guessing and more like a series of manageable decisions.

Adding a New Pet Without Rushing

After a pet dies, it is natural to look at the emptiness and wonder whether another animal would help the household feel alive again. Sometimes that is true, but timing matters. A new pet does not land in a neutral environment; they land in a home that is already emotionally charged. VCA Animal Hospitals cautions families not to rush to “replace” a pet, noting that time and stability help both humans and animals adjust.

A more reliable question than “How long should we wait?” is “Are the surviving pets stable enough to handle change?” Stability looks ordinary: mostly normal eating, the ability to relax, interest returning in small ways, and fewer searching behaviors. If the surviving pet is still refusing meals, panicking when left alone, or showing ongoing physical symptoms, it is typically kinder to focus on steadiness first.

When you do feel ready to consider a new pet, go slowly and plan introductions like you would plan any sensitive transition: protect territory, separate resources, and build familiarity over time. Funeral.com’s guide Introducing a New Pet to a Grieving Pack: Timing and Territory offers a grounded approach that prioritizes safety and emotional readiness rather than a calendar date.

Where Memorialization and Healing Meet

In the end, helping a surviving pet is less about a single technique and more about a tone you set in the household: steady, patient, observant, and gentle. You keep the routines that keep them safe. You invite small moments of engagement without forcing them. You watch appetite and health closely, and you call the vet when something doesn’t feel right, because love is not only emotional; it is practical.

And if your family is also navigating memorial choices, you can let those choices serve healing rather than pressure. Whether you choose pet urns for ashes, a small shared keepsake, or cremation jewelry that you wear quietly, the purpose is the same: to give the bond a place to rest, while allowing the household to keep living.

Grief in a multi-pet home can feel like carrying two jobs at once: mourning the one you lost and protecting the ones you still have. But those jobs are not in conflict. When you care for the surviving pet with steadiness and compassion, you are also honoring the pet who died. You are keeping the love in motion, and that is one of the most faithful things grief ever asks us to do.

If you’re also thinking about human memorial options as part of your broader funeral planning, Funeral.com’s resources on cremation urns and choosing cremation urns for ashes can help you match an urn to your plans, including at-home memorials, scattering, or even water burial. For a clear explanation of what a water burial ceremony can involve, see Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony.