Texting after a death can feel awkward because it’s fast, and grief is not. You might worry a message will sound small next to the loss, or that you’ll interrupt at the wrong time. If you’re searching what to text when someone dies, the most helpful reassurance is this: a simple, sincere text is usually better than silence. You are not trying to fix grief in a message. You’re acknowledging it and offering steadiness.
This guide shares practical do’s and don’ts for condolences via text, plus 40+ ready-to-send condolence text messages for friends, coworkers, and family. You’ll also get follow-up ideas for the days after the funeral, when support often matters most.
Do’s and Don’ts for Condolences via Text
Text messages work best when they reduce burden. Grief drains energy and decision-making, so the most supportive texts are short, clear, and low-pressure.
Do
- Acknowledge the loss plainly. “I’m so sorry for your loss” is not overused; it’s stabilizing.
- Keep it brief. One to three sentences is enough, especially early on.
- Remove pressure. Add “no need to reply” when appropriate.
- Name the person who died if you knew them or the relationship is close; it often feels comforting rather than painful.
- Offer one specific thing you can actually do.
- Follow up later. A check-in after the funeral often lands more deeply than the first message.
Don’t
- Don’t ask for details. “What happened?” is not a text question in early grief.
- Don’t try to explain the loss. Avoid meaning-making statements that can land as minimizing.
- Don’t pressure a response. Grieving people often can’t keep up with messages.
- Don’t compare grief. “I know exactly how you feel” usually misses the mark.
- Don’t default to “at least.” Anything that starts with “at least” tends to hurt.
Short Condolence Messages for Immediate Replies
When you need something quick, these short condolence messages are appropriate and supportive.
- “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “I’m so sorry. Thinking of you.”
- “I just heard. I’m here for you.”
- “Sending love. No need to reply.”
- “I’m holding you in my thoughts.”
- “I’m so sorry. I’m here, today and later.”
- “Thinking of you and your family.”
- “I’m so sorry. I’m with you.”
Condolence Text Messages for a Close Friend
With close friends, you can be slightly more personal and supportive. If you can offer a concrete form of help, do it here—close friends are often the people who can actually lighten the load.
- “I’m so sorry, [Name]. I love you. I’m here.”
- “I’m devastated to hear about [Name]. Do you want company, or would you prefer quiet?”
- “You don’t have to respond. I’m going to check in tomorrow.”
- “I can bring food tonight or tomorrow. Which would help more?”
- “I can handle one thing this week—errands, calls, anything. Tell me one task.”
- “I’m here for the long haul, not just today.”
- “If you want to talk about [Name], I’m here. If you don’t, I can just sit with you.”
- “I’m so sorry. I’m holding you close in my thoughts.”
Sympathy Text Examples When You Didn’t Know the Person Well
If you didn’t know the person who died, or you’re not close to the grieving person, keep it respectful and low-pressure. These sympathy text examples work well.
- “I’m very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.”
- “Please accept my condolences. No need to reply.”
- “I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sending support.”
- “I was sorry to hear the news. Wishing you comfort in the days ahead.”
- “I’m thinking of you. Please take care.”
- “I’m sorry for your loss. I’m here if you need anything.”
Sympathy Messages for Coworkers (Text, Slack, or Teams)
Workplace messages should be warm but professional. A good sympathy message for coworker reduces pressure and avoids personal assumptions.
- “I’m very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.”
- “So sorry to hear this. Please take all the time you need.”
- “My condolences, [Name]. No need to respond.”
- “I’m thinking of you. We’ve got things covered here.”
- “Sending support. Please take care.”
- “I’m sorry for your loss. If it helps, I can cover [meeting/task] this week.”
- “I’m so sorry. Don’t worry about work right now.”
If you’re a manager texting an employee, add one practical sentence about coverage and flexibility:
- “I’m very sorry for your loss. Please take the time you need—don’t worry about work. We’ll handle coverage and adjust timelines.”
- “I’m so sorry. Focus on your family. When you’re ready, we’ll talk about what you need from us—no rush.”
Texts for Family Members
Family texts often mix comfort with logistics. In early grief, it helps to keep warmth up front and decisions minimal.
- “I love you. I’m so sorry. I’m here.”
- “I’m with you. We’ll take this one step at a time.”
- “Do you want calls or texts right now? I can follow your lead.”
- “I can help with one thing today—food, errands, calls. Pick one.”
- “I’m thinking of you constantly. I’m here.”
- “If you need a break from people, I can run interference.”
Grief Support Messages When You Want to Offer Real Help
These grief support messages work best when you can follow through on the specific offer you mention.
- “I can drop dinner at your door tonight. Would that help?”
- “I can pick up groceries. Text me a list and I’ll take care of it.”
- “I can take care of [specific task] this week so you don’t have to think about it.”
- “I can sit with you for 20 minutes—no talking required.”
- “If you want a ride to the service or help getting there, I can do that.”
- “I can check in again next week, and you don’t have to respond unless you want to.”
- “I’m here. Would it help if I coordinated meals with a few friends?”
What Not to Say in a Condolence Text
These phrases are common and well-intended, but they often land poorly—especially over text—because they can feel minimizing or pressuring.
- “They’re in a better place.” (unless you know the person shares that belief)
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “At least…”
- “I know exactly how you feel.”
- “Be strong.”
- “Time heals all wounds.”
If you catch yourself heading toward one of these, return to the basics: “I’m so sorry,” “I’m thinking of you,” and “I’m here.”
Follow-Up Text After the Funeral: What to Say When Support Drops Off
Many grieving people say the hardest part comes after the service, when everyone else returns to normal. A follow up text after funeral can be deeply meaningful because it signals you haven’t forgotten.
- “Thinking of you today. No need to reply.”
- “I’ve been thinking about you. How are you holding up today?”
- “I’m here. Would food on your porch help this week?”
- “I’m remembering [Name] today.”
- “If you want company for 20 minutes, I can come by.”
- “I’m going to check in again next week. No need to respond unless you want to.”
- “Would it help if I handled one errand this week?”
A simple follow-up rhythm is often best: one check-in after the funeral, one around the two-to-four-week mark, and one around a meaningful date (birthday, anniversary) if you’re close enough to do so gently.
Condolence Message Templates (Fill-In Versions)
If you want templates you can quickly customize, these work in almost any situation:
- “I’m so sorry for your loss, [Name]. I’m thinking of you. No need to reply.”
- “I’m so sorry about [Name]. I’m here today, and I’ll check in again [tomorrow/next week].”
- “I’m sorry you’re going through this. If it would help, I can [specific help] this week.”
- “I don’t have the right words, but I care about you and I’m here.”
- “Thinking of you and your family. I’m here if you need anything.”
A Simple Bottom Line
If you want the shortest reliable answer to what to text someone grieving, it’s this: “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m thinking of you. I’m here.” Add “no need to reply” if you want to remove pressure. Add one specific offer if you can follow through. That’s enough. It will almost always land as care.
