There are losses people expect work to “understand”—a parent, a spouse, a child. And then there are losses that can feel strangely invisible in the workplace, even when they’re enormous in real life: the dog who met you at the door for 12 years, the cat who slept on your chest through a hard season, the rabbit your kid called their best friend. When a coworker’s pet dies, many of us want to say something kind, but we hesitate. We worry we’ll say the wrong thing, or make it awkward, or overstep. So we say nothing—and that silence can land like confirmation that their grief doesn’t count.
The truth is, you don’t need perfect words. You need sincere, simple language that acknowledges the loss, respects boundaries, and doesn’t demand emotional labor from the person who is hurting. Below is a workplace-specific script library you can use in a text, Slack/Teams message, or sympathy card, plus manager responses and practical guidance for when grief shows up mid-meeting.
The guiding principle at work: acknowledge, don’t analyze
Pet grief can be intense, and it’s not your job to diagnose it, rank it, or “fix” it. In a workplace context, the safest emotional posture is: I see that something important happened, I’m sorry, and I’m here in a way that doesn’t require anything from you.
That means your message should usually do three things: name the loss, express sympathy, offer a small, concrete form of support or flexibility—then stop. If you’re close friends outside of work, you can say more. If you’re not close, “less, but warm” is almost always the right call.
Short texts for a coworker you’re friendly with
These are designed to fit in a single Slack/Teams bubble and not create pressure to respond.
- “Hey—I’m so sorry about [Pet’s Name]. I know how much you loved them. No need to reply, just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you.”
- “I’m really sorry. Losing a pet hurts so much. If you want a distraction later, I’m around—if not, I completely understand.”
- “I’m sorry you’re going through this. If you need to step away today or swap anything on your plate, tell me what would help.”
- “I heard about [Pet’s Name]. That’s heartbreaking. I’m here if you want to talk, and also totally okay if you’d rather not.”
If you know the pet’s name, use it. It signals respect and makes the message feel real.
Short messages for a coworker you aren’t close with
When you’re not close, your goal is to be kind without implying intimacy.
- “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Thinking of you.”
- “I heard about your pet—my condolences. Please take care.”
- “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. If you need any work coverage today, I can help with [specific task].”
A small, specific offer (“I can cover the client call” or “I can send the recap notes”) is better than “Let me know if you need anything,” which often puts the burden back on them.
Sympathy card notes that don’t feel awkward at work
A card is often where people freeze because it feels more “permanent.” Keep it simple and steady.
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. [Pet’s Name] was clearly deeply loved. Holding you in my thoughts.”
- “Wishing you comfort as you remember [Pet’s Name]. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
- “Pets are family. I’m sorry you had to say goodbye.”
- “Thinking of you, and hoping the love you shared with [Pet’s Name] brings you some peace.”
If you have a warm memory that’s appropriate for work, one sentence is enough: “I’ll always remember how you lit up when you talked about them.”
Manager responses that balance compassion and logistics
If you manage people, your words matter twice: they shape your direct report’s experience and they set a tone for what’s allowed on the team.
Try this: “I’m so sorry. Please take the time you need today. We can adjust priorities and coverage—what would feel most helpful right now?”
Or, if they’re mid-deadline and stressed: “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Let’s pause and look at what can move and what someone else can take. You don’t have to carry everything today.”
And if you’re not sure how much they want shared: “Would you like me to let the team know in a simple way, or would you prefer privacy?”
That last line is a quiet form of funeral planning—not in the sense of arrangements, but in the sense of helping someone navigate the practical realities around a loss with dignity and choice.
How to offer practical help without being intrusive
Support at work is usually about time, tasks, and permission.
You can offer coverage (“I can take the 2pm call and send you a summary”), flexibility (“If you want to log off early, I can handle anything urgent that comes in”), or buffering (“If you’d rather not be on camera today, that’s completely fine”).
If you’re a manager, be explicit that grief won’t be penalized: “Take the space you need—your job is safe, and we’ll handle the logistics.”
What not to say to someone grieving a pet
Most harm comes from minimizing, reframing too quickly, or making it about your discomfort. If you’re unsure, avoid these common traps:
- “At least…” (At least they lived a long life, at least you can get another one.)
- “It was just a dog/cat.”
- “You’ll be okay.”
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “Are you going to get a new pet?”
Even when you mean well, these can land as pressure to move on. A better alternative is simple acknowledgement: “I’m so sorry. That’s a real loss.”
If they cry at work, go quiet, or share a lot
Grief doesn’t follow calendar invites. If someone tears up in a meeting or shares unexpectedly, you don’t have to rescue the moment with a speech.
You can say: “Thank you for sharing that. I’m really sorry.” Or, “Do you want to take a minute, or would you prefer we continue and check in after?” Or, “We can pause—no pressure either way.”
If they share a lot and you’re not close, you can still be kind while holding boundaries: “I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’m not the best person for deep support, but I care about you—and I can help with work coverage today.”
That sentence communicates compassion and honesty, which is often the most respectful combination.
Pet bereavement leave at work: what’s typical and what to do
Many companies have a bereavement policy for immediate family, but pet loss is often not formally included. One way to understand how many organizations structure leave (definitions, duration, and request procedures) is to review a standard bereavement policy overview from Workable.
That doesn’t mean help isn’t possible. In practice, employees often use a mix of manager-approved flexibility (late start, early logoff), sick time or PTO, a personal day, or remote work for a short period.
For HR-facing guidance on supporting employees through pet loss, this overview from Indeed can be a useful starting point.
And as workplace benefits continue to evolve, business coverage has highlighted growing employee interest in pet bereavement leave as part of broader retention and culture discussions, including this article from Inc..
If you’re the coworker (not the manager), the most helpful thing you can do is avoid giving policy advice unless you’re sure. Instead, say: “If you want, I can help you figure out coverage for today,” or “Do you want me to join that call and take notes?”
When memorial choices come up: gentle language that doesn’t overshare
Sometimes, after a pet dies, people mention practical next steps—cremation, returning ashes, or what they plan to do with them. If that happens at work, follow their lead. You don’t need to ask for details, but you can offer language that’s respectful: “That sounds like a loving way to honor them,” or “If you’re still deciding what to do with ashes, there’s no rush. Do what feels right.”
If they do want options, keep it simple and non-salesy: some people choose pet urns for ashes, some prefer keepsake urns that let family members share a small portion, and others choose cremation jewelry like cremation necklaces that hold a symbolic amount.
If they’re looking for a quiet place to start, these Funeral.com resources can help without overwhelming them:
- Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes for full-size memorials at home
- Small Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes for cats, small dogs, and smaller capacities
- Pet Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes when multiple people want to share
- Pet Cremation Jewelry and Cremation Necklaces for wearable remembrance
- If you want a guide written for grieving families (not “shopping”), read: Pet Urns for Ashes: A Complete Guide for Dog and Cat Owners
A final, respectful note
A coworker’s pet loss doesn’t require you to become their counselor. It requires you to be human in a way that fits the workplace: acknowledge the bond, offer practical support, and respect privacy. That’s how teams build trust—not through grand gestures, but through simple moments where someone feels seen.
