Most families donât begin a funeral decision by thinking about architecture. They begin with a phone call, a hospital hallway, a quiet drive home, or a moment when someone says, âWhat happens next?â And yet across cultures, the spaces we build for the dead tell a story about the living: what we hold sacred, what we fear, what we want to protect, and what we hope will endure.
Zoroastrian Towers of Silenceâknown as a dakhmaâcan feel startling at first glance. The ritual is not about spectacle. It is about boundaries: keeping earth, fire, and water from being polluted by a body, because those elements are considered sacred within the faith. In the most practical sense, it is a method of care that asks nature to complete the work, rather than insisting that families do it through burial or flame.
Even if your family is not Zoroastrian, learning how another tradition holds grief and responsibility can be grounding. It reminds us that there is no single ânormalâ way to say goodbye. And it can also illuminate the modern choices many families face todayâespecially when cremation is involvedâaround funeral planning, cremation urns, pet urns, cremation jewelry, and the very human question underneath all of it: what does ârespectâ look like for us?
What a dakhma is and why the âTower of Silenceâ exists
A dakhma is often described as a âTower of Silence,â but the phrase can mislead. It is not silence as in secrecy. It is silence as in reverenceâan attempt to let the end of a life be handled without defiling what the faith considers pure. According to Britannica, a dakhma is a funerary tower used in Zoroastrian practice in which bodies were traditionally exposed on gratings so that carrion birds could remove soft tissue, with bones eventually falling into a pit belowâfulfilling the injunction that a corpse should not come into contact with fire or earth.
The underlying belief is not a lack of love for the dead. It is a fierce commitment to protecting the living world. In Zoroastrian thought, a body after death can be spiritually and materially polluting. The dakhma is one solution shaped by that worldview: a way to let sun, wind, and scavenging birds do what they do naturally, while keeping sacred elements uncontaminated.
When you look closely, you can see a pattern that appears in many funeral traditions: a desire to keep death from spilling into everyday life in a harmful way. Some traditions emphasize washing and shrouding. Some emphasize sealed burial. Some emphasize cremation by fire. Zoroastrian practice historically emphasized excarnationâexposureâbecause the problem to be solved was âHow do we honor the dead without harming what is holy?â
Modern challenges: cities, vultures, and what happens when nature canât keep up
For centuries, the practice relied on an ecosystem that included healthy vulture populations. But in many places, that balance has been disrupted. In recent decades, the decline of vultures across parts of South Asia has been linked to veterinary use of diclofenac in livestock, which is toxic to vultures that feed on carcasses. A technical review from the conservation community describes how vultures are exposed through scavenging and how diclofenac causes fatal kidney damage. Save Vultures summarizes this pathway and the urgency that drove bans and mitigation efforts.
As vultures disappeared, Zoroastrian communities faced a painful reality: a tradition designed to be environmentally gentle became difficult to carry out. Reporting on this cultural strain, The Guardian describes how vulture shortages, urban expansion, and environmental constraints have made traditional excarnation increasingly hard in places like India, Pakistan, and Iranâpushing communities to consider alternatives, sometimes including burial or cremation.
In some regions, communities experimented with âsolar concentratorsâ and other methods intended to accelerate decomposition while still avoiding direct use of fire or burial in earth. The story has been explored in accessible detail by 99% Invisible, which describes how these adaptations aimed to preserve religious intent amid ecological change.
Why does this matter to families outside the tradition? Because it shows a truth that applies everywhere: even deeply held funeral customs sometimes changeânot because love changes, but because circumstances do. Environment, law, cost, city living, and family geography all shape whatâs possible. Which means âthe right choiceâ is often the one that matches your values and your reality at the same time.
How this connects to todayâs cremation choices
In the U.S. and Canada, more families are choosing cremation than in previous generations, which means more families are also making decisions about what happens after the cremationâhow ashes are kept, shared, buried, scattered, or memorialized. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to reach 63.4% in 2025, compared with 31.6% for burial, and cremation is projected to rise further over the next two decades.
The Cremation Association of North America similarly reports that the U.S. cremation rate reached 61.8% in 2024 and projects continued growth. That data matters not as a statistic to memorize, but as a signal that you are not alone if your family is navigating decisions about ashes. For many people, cremation is now the most common pathâand that has made questions like what to do with ashes feel newly universal.
And hereâs the quiet part families often discover: cremation doesnât remove decision-making. It relocates it. Instead of choosing between grave plots and headstones right away, you may be choosing between cremation urns for ashes, scattering, a niche, splitting ashes among siblings, or wearing a small portion as cremation jewelry. These are not merely âproducts.â They are ways of holding love in a form you can live with.
After cremation: the moment ashes come home
Thereâs a moment many families remember clearly: the day you receive the ashes. Sometimes itâs in a temporary container from the crematory. Sometimes itâs already in a chosen urn. Either way, it can feel unexpectedly heavyânot just physically, but emotionally. For some, keeping ashes at home provides comfort. It creates time. It allows a family to grieve before deciding on scattering or burial. It also gives relatives who live far away a chance to visit and participate in a future memorial.
If youâre wondering how to do that safely and respectfullyâespecially with children, pets, visitors, and a household that still has to functionâFuneral.comâs guide Keeping Ashes at Home: How to Do It Safely, Respectfully, and Legally walks through practical considerations without judgment.
For many families, the next step is choosing the right container for the plan. That is where cremation urns become less abstract and more personal. If youâre starting from scratch, browsing a well-organized collection can reduce decision fatigue, like Funeral.comâs Cremation Urns for Ashes collection, which includes different materials and styles based on placement needs and aesthetic preferences.
When âsmallâ means three different things
One of the most confusing search phrasesâbecause it means different things to different peopleâis small cremation urns. Sometimes âsmallâ means an urn for a petite adult. Sometimes it means a compact urn for limited shelf space. And often it means sharing: dividing ashes among close family members so no one carries the whole responsibility alone.
Thatâs why it helps to think of urn size as a story about intention. A full-size urn is âweâre keeping most of the ashes together.â A smaller urn might be âweâre splitting,â âweâre traveling,â or âweâre waiting.â Funeral.comâs Small Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is designed for those in-between realitiesâsmaller capacities that still feel substantial when you want a meaningful home display without a full-size footprint.
And then there are keepsake urns, which are intentionally smallâoften used when multiple people want a personal memorial, or when most ashes will be scattered or buried later, but a small portion will stay with a child, sibling, or partner. If thatâs what your family needs, Funeral.comâs Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is built around that âshared remembranceâ approach.
If you want a fast, steady overview of how to choose (without drowning in options), Funeral.comâs How to Choose the Best Cremation Urn guide is a practical place to begin.
Scattering, burial, and water: matching the urn to the goodbye
Sometimes families already know what they want: a mountain overlook, a family cemetery, a favorite lake, or the ocean. Other times, the plan is unclearâand thatâs normal. Many people choose cremation precisely because it creates time to decide.
If your family is weighing options, it can help to use a simple question: âWhat do we want the moment to feel like?â For some, the answer is private and home-centered. For others, itâs ceremonial and outdoors. For others, itâs a later event, once travel and family schedules align. A brief comparison can make the decision feel less overwhelming:
- If the plan is keeping ashes at home, choose a stable urn material and a placement plan that accounts for pets, children, and visitors.
- If the plan is burial in a cemetery or niche, ask for size/material requirements first, then choose an urn that fits those rules.
- If the plan is scattering, consider whether you want a temporary container or a scattering-focused design.
- If the plan is water burial, look for biodegradable designs made for ocean or lake release, so the ceremony aligns with your values.
Water ceremonies, in particular, can feel deeply peacefulâespecially for people who loved the sea, boating, fishing, or simply found comfort near water. If youâre planning an ocean farewell, families often run into the practical question of distance from shore. Funeral.comâs guide Water Burial and Burial at Sea: What â3 Nautical Milesâ Means translates that requirement into real-life planning language so the day doesnât become stressful.
If youâre still circling the broader question of what to do with ashes, this resource can help you compare the emotional and logistical feel of each option: What to Do With a Loved Oneâs Ashes.
When the ashes are from a pet: grief that deserves the same care
Pet loss is sometimes treated like âlesserâ grief by the outside world, but families know better. A dog who met you at the door for ten years, or a cat who slept by your feet through hard seasons, becomes part of the structure of your life. When they die, your home can feel unfamiliar.
Thatâs why pet urns for ashes matter. Not as dÊcor, and not as a replacement for your relationship, but as a way to give your love a home when your pet no longer can. Funeral.comâs Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes collection includes a wide range of stylesâtraditional, modern, photo urns, and moreâbecause pets have different personalities and families grieve differently.
Two specific options can be especially helpful in real households. First, pet keepsake cremation urnsâdesigned for small portionsâcan make sense when multiple family members want a personal memorial, or when most ashes will be scattered later but a small amount stays close. The Pet Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is built for that. Second, for families who want a memorial that visually reflects their companion, Pet Figurine Cremation Urns for Ashes combine a decorative figurine with an ash compartment, creating a tribute that feels like a presence rather than a container.
If youâre trying to understand sizing and options without second-guessing yourself, Funeral.comâs guide Pet Urns for Ashes: A Complete Guide is written for real families, not industry insiders.
Carrying a small portion: cremation jewelry and the need to stay close
Sometimes grief doesnât want a shelf. Sometimes it wants closeness. That is one reason cremation jewelry has become such a meaningful option in modern memorialization. A necklace or bracelet that holds a tiny portion of ashes can be a way to move through everyday life while still feeling tethered to someone you love.
For families exploring this option, it helps to be clear about what it is and what it isnât. Most cremation necklaces hold a symbolic amountâoften a pinchânot a âshare.â They are not meant to replace an urn. They are meant to be portable comfort. Funeral.comâs Cremation Jewelry collection and Cremation Necklaces collection show the range of styles available, from discreet cylinders to symbolic hearts or crosses, depending on what feels right to wear.
If you want practical filling tips and material guidance (because that part can feel intimidating), Cremation Necklaces for Ashes: Types, Materials, Filling Tips & What to Buy explains what to expect in plain language.
Funeral planning in the real world: cost, clarity, and choices you can live with
Even the most loving families have budgets. And money stress layered onto grief can feel cruel. The question âhow much does cremation cost?â is not shallowâitâs responsible. Costs vary by region, provider, and the type of arrangement (direct cremation versus cremation with a service), and many families donât realize they can separate the cremation itself from later memorial choices.
If you want a clear breakdown written for consumers, Funeral.comâs guide How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options explains the common cost layers and where families can keep spending aligned with their values. If youâre also factoring in memorial items, Average Cost of Cremation and an Urn helps connect the dots between cremation fees and choices like cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, and cremation jewelry.
Good funeral planning doesnât mean deciding everything immediately. It means making the next decision that removes pressure. Sometimes thatâs choosing a temporary planâkeeping ashes at home while you talk as a family. Sometimes itâs choosing an urn that fits a known next step, like a niche or burial plot. Sometimes itâs choosing keepsakes so siblings donât feel left out. And sometimes itâs simply learning enough to feel steadier.
That steadiness is what families often need most: permission to choose what fits their beliefs, their relationships, and their practical circumstancesâwithout feeling like thereâs a single correct script.
A closing thought: respect looks different in different homes
Zoroastrian Towers of Silence can feel distant from modern Western life. But the emotional logic behind them is familiar: protect what is sacred, honor what is loved, and let the living move forward without harm. In one tradition, that means avoiding contamination of earth, fire, and water through excarnation. In another family, it may mean choosing cremation because it feels simple and manageable, then selecting cremation urns that feel dignified at home. In another, it may mean scattering at sea with a biodegradable vessel. In another, it may mean a child holding a keepsake urn, or a parent wearing cremation jewelry because closeness matters more than display.
If youâre in the middle of decisions right now, try to be gentle with yourself. Most families donât get this âperfect.â They get it honest. And honestyâgrounded in careâis what makes a goodbye feel like love, no matter the form it takes.
