For most families, a headstone is something you choose after a death—when the grave is fresh, the paperwork is still unfolding, and the emotional weight of “making it final” feels almost too heavy to hold. But some people consider the question earlier, either for themselves or for a spouse: should we purchase a headstone now, while we can think clearly, compare options, and make decisions without crisis pressure?
There is no single right answer. Buying a headstone in advance can be a gift to your future family, and it can also create complications if it’s done without the right timing, approvals, and paperwork. The goal of this guide is to help you see both sides with clarity—so your choice is rooted in practicality and care, not fear.
Along the way, we’ll also zoom out to the bigger landscape of modern funeral planning. More families are choosing cremation and combining memorial types—cemetery markers, urns at home, keepsakes shared among relatives, and sometimes wearable tributes. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to reach 63.4% in 2025 and is projected to rise to 82.3% by 2045. According to the Cremation Association of North America, the U.S. cremation rate for 2023 is shown at 60.6%, with commentary that growth patterns tend to slow as cremation becomes the norm. Those trends matter because they shape what “a memorial” looks like today—and what choices you may want to lock in early versus leave flexible.
What it actually means to “buy a headstone in advance”
Pre-need headstone planning can mean a few different things, and the difference is important. Some people design and purchase a marker, pay in full, and store it until it’s needed. Others pre-plan the design and inscription style but pay later. Some families pre-purchase only the base or the granite, leaving dates and final lettering for later. Others buy a marker as part of a cemetery package where the cemetery provides installation and requires specific sizes and materials.
Before you decide, it helps to name your real goal. Are you trying to reduce stress for your family? Lock in costs? Ensure your preferred design and wording? Coordinate your headstone with a burial plot you already own? Each goal leads to a slightly different “best” approach.
The strongest reasons people choose a headstone early
You get design control when you’re not rushed
When a family chooses a marker after a death, the decision often happens in a narrow window: the cemetery needs paperwork, the monument company has lead times, and relatives may have strong opinions about style, faith language, symbols, or what “fits” the family. Buying in advance can protect your preferences. You can choose whether you want an upright monument, a flat marker, a ledger, a bench, a bronze plaque, or a granite-and-bronze combination, and you can choose materials with an eye toward how they age over time.
If you’re still learning the basics, Funeral.com’s guide to types of headstones and grave markers is a helpful foundation, especially if you want to understand what’s common, what’s durable, and what tends to require more upkeep. It also pairs well with Funeral.com’s guide to headstone regulations and cemetery rules, because “design control” only matters if the cemetery will approve what you choose.
You may reduce pressure on your family later
Many people consider pre-need monuments for the same reason they plan services early: they don’t want their family making expensive, emotional decisions under stress. A headstone can bring family dynamics into sharp focus—especially if siblings disagree about wording, symbols, or how much to spend. When you choose in advance, you can leave clear instructions and reduce the risk of conflict or guilt-driven overspending.
This can be especially meaningful when your family already knows there may be multiple interments in the same plot, or when you’re coordinating a joint marker for spouses. In those cases, pre-planning can also prevent mismatched stones or confusing updates later.
There can be financial predictability, but it’s not automatic
Some people buy early because they expect prices to rise over time. That can be true—materials, labor, and transport costs do change. But “cost savings” only happen if you understand what you are actually paying for now versus later. A headstone purchase may not include the foundation, setting fees, installation permits, or cemetery charges for approval and scheduling. Some cemeteries also require that the marker be purchased through them, or that outside markers meet specific standards and be installed by approved contractors.
So yes, a pre-need purchase can create predictability. But the predictability comes from clarity, not from timing. Your best protection is making sure every line item is written down and that the cemetery’s rules are confirmed in advance.
The most common drawbacks and risks to think through
Cemetery rules can change, and your design may not stay compliant
This is the biggest “quiet risk” in pre-need monuments. Cemeteries update their regulations over time—sometimes for safety, sometimes for maintenance uniformity, sometimes because a cemetery section evolves. A marker that would have been approved today might face restrictions later if rules change about size, material, finish, vase styles, or foundation requirements.
That’s why it’s wise to treat cemetery approval as a core part of pre-need planning, not an afterthought. Funeral.com’s guide on cemetery headstone rules is useful here because it encourages families to confirm rules before ordering, not after delivery.
Storage and handling can create damage or extra fees
If a stone is purchased and stored for years, you need a plan for where and how it will be kept. Granite and bronze are durable, but they are also heavy, and chips or scratches can happen during transport or storage. Some monument companies offer storage as part of a pre-need plan; others require you to store it, which can be unrealistic for most households.
A practical compromise many families choose is to design the marker in advance, lock in the key elements (stone type, shape, layout, epitaph), and delay fabrication until the timing is closer—especially if you’re not sure when it will be needed.
“Adding dates later” is normal, but it’s not always simple
People often ask whether they can leave the date of death blank and add it later. In many cases, yes, that’s common. But you should ask exactly how that will work with your chosen material and design. Some inscriptions are sandblasted into granite; bronze markers may have raised letters or different finishing methods. “Later engraving” can require removing the marker, transporting it to a shop, and reinstalling it—each step potentially involving cemetery scheduling and fees.
If your plan includes a joint headstone for two spouses, it’s especially important to ask how the second date will be added, what it will cost, and whether the cemetery has rules about taking a marker off-site.
Pre-paying can feel emotionally heavy for some families
Even when pre-planning is practical, the emotional impact varies. Some people feel relief and dignity in making choices early. Others feel like they are inviting loss into the present, or they worry that the stone will sit like a shadow over their home life. If you’re doing this as a couple, it helps to talk honestly about what each person can handle emotionally, because “being prepared” should not come at the cost of daily peace.
If you’re helping a parent with pre-need decisions and you feel tension—between practicality and emotion—it can help to approach it gently as an act of care, not as a morbid task. Sometimes this is less about the stone and more about how a family faces the future together.
How cremation changes the question
A headstone is traditionally associated with burial, but cremation can still involve cemetery markers. Families may place an urn in a columbarium niche with a niche front, or they may bury an urn in a grave that still uses a standard marker. Some families scatter ashes but place a cenotaph (a memorial marker without remains) so future generations have a place to visit.
This is one reason modern funeral planning often becomes “layered.” A cemetery place can coexist with home memorials, shared keepsakes, and wearable tributes. If your plan includes a home urn as well as a cemetery marker, Funeral.com’s collections can help you explore what fits your practical needs and emotional style, including cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, and keepsake urns.
If you’re considering keeping some ashes close over the long term, Funeral.com’s guide to keeping ashes at home is a steady, practical resource that addresses safety, placement, family dynamics, and how to plan for the future. For families who want a discreet, daily reminder, cremation jewelry—including cremation necklaces—can be a meaningful companion to a cemetery memorial, and Funeral.com’s Cremation Jewelry 101 can help you understand how it works and who it tends to serve best.
Even if your memorial plan includes scattering or a water burial ceremony, families sometimes still choose a cemetery marker or plaque as an anchor point for remembrance. If you want a clearer picture of how water ceremonies are typically planned, Funeral.com’s guide to water burial can help you think through logistics and meaning without pressure.
Questions to ask before you buy a headstone in advance
The best pre-need headstone decisions are the ones that protect your family from surprises. Start by asking the cemetery for their current rules in writing, and ask whether those rules are likely to change. Confirm whether they require pre-approval drawings or templates, whether they require a specific installer, and whether there are foundation or setting fees that will apply later. If the cemetery is private, ask whether there are restrictions related to holidays, seasonal installation windows, or special sections with different standards.
Then ask the monument company (or cemetery, if they sell markers) what happens if you need to change details later. What does it cost to add a date? Will the marker need to be removed and reinstalled? How long do updates typically take? If you are buying early for cost predictability, ask for itemized pricing that separates the marker from setting, foundation, delivery, and future lettering so your family isn’t surprised by “hidden later costs.”
If you’re trying to protect your family from sales pressure, it can also help to learn common tactics and how to slow things down. Funeral.com’s guide to funeral scams and high-pressure tactics includes a section on cemetery sales pressure, which can be useful if you’re being pushed toward bundles or urgency-based claims.
Planning tips that make pre-need headstones smoother
Coordinate the stone with your cemetery paperwork
A headstone is not a standalone purchase; it exists inside cemetery rules and plot rights. Keep all documents together: the cemetery deed or interment rights paperwork, the cemetery’s rules and regulations, and the monument company contract and proof of payment. Make sure your family knows where these documents are stored and who to contact. If your goal is to reduce burden, the paperwork must be findable.
Decide what should be “fixed” and what should stay flexible
Many people find peace by fixing the elements that matter most—stone type, shape, inscriptions, artwork, or a favorite quote—while leaving dates and certain details for later. That approach can reduce storage and compliance risks while still giving your family a clear blueprint to follow.
Think about the memorial ecosystem, not just the headstone
The most comforting memorial plans often include more than one place to connect. A cemetery marker can be a public, generational touchstone. A home urn can be a private place of daily remembrance. Shared keepsakes can prevent conflict among siblings who all want closeness. Wearable jewelry can support people who travel or live far from the cemetery. If cremation is part of your plan and you’re trying to budget thoughtfully, Funeral.com’s guide to how much does cremation cost can help you see how memorial items like cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, and cremation jewelry often fit into the overall picture.
And if pets are part of your family story—and for many people, they are—planning ahead sometimes includes making room for companion remembrance too. Funeral.com’s pet urns for ashes collection, including pet cremation urns in figurine styles and pet keepsake cremation urns, can help families create a gentle, lasting memorial at home even when cemetery policies don’t address pets in the way families wish they did.
So, should you buy a headstone before you need it?
If buying early gives you genuine peace, protects your family from conflict, and you can confirm cemetery approval and long-term logistics in writing, pre-need headstone planning can be a thoughtful act of love. If, on the other hand, buying early would create storage stress, emotional strain, or compliance uncertainty, you can still achieve most of the benefits by pre-planning the design and documentation now and timing the purchase later.
Either way, the heart of the decision is the same: you’re trying to make the future easier for people you love, while honoring the life and identity that the marker will represent. When you approach the decision slowly, ask the right questions, and keep your memorial plan flexible where it needs to be, you don’t just buy a stone—you build clarity.
