If you are grieving a pet and wondering why it hurts as much as, or even more than, losing a person, you are not imagining it. For many people, the death of a dog, cat, or other companion animal lands in the same place in the heart as the death of a parent, partner, or close friend. At the same time, you may be trying to make decisions about funeral planning, cremation urns, and what daily life will look like without them here.
This is where love, neuroscience, and practical choices all meet. The bonds we form with animals use the same emotional wiring as our closest human relationships. When those bonds are broken, the grief is real, no matter how others might minimize it.
As more families choose cremation for both people and pets, options like cremation urns for ashes, pet urns for ashes, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, and cremation jewelry have become quiet ways to say, “You mattered,” every single day.
When a Pet Is Family, the Heart Doesn’t See a Species
Most people do not think of their pets as objects or hobbies. They think of “my girl,” “my buddy,” “our first baby.” Psychologists describe this as an “attachment figure” — the same category our brains use for parents, partners, or very close friends. Studies of the human–companion animal bond show that we rely on pets for comfort, emotional regulation, and a sense of safety in remarkably similar ways to how we rely on people.
That is why pet grief vs human grief can feel almost indistinguishable. When you lose a pet who greeted you at the door, slept at your feet, or followed you from room to room, your brain experiences it as the loss of a central relationship, not a minor inconvenience.
In everyday life, that bond shows up in simple routines: the leash on the hook, the food bowl in the corner, the sound of paws on the floor. When the pet dies, all of those cues stay behind. Your nervous system keeps expecting them. The silence becomes its own kind of ache.
Families often respond by creating tangible memorials that look very much like human memorials: a dedicated shelf with a framed photo and pet cremation urns, a shared corner where a spouse’s urn sits next to a dog’s or cat’s urn, or a piece of cremation jewelry that carries a pinch of ashes from both. Funeral.com’s collections of cremation urns for ashes and pet cremation urns for ashes are designed with this reality in mind, treating both human and animal relationships as equally worthy of care and beauty.
What Research Actually Says About Pet and Human Grief
For years, people have quietly felt that losing a pet can be as devastating as losing a person, but worried they were “overreacting.” Research now backs up what many have known in their bones. Reviews of pet-loss studies report that grief after a companion animal’s death is often comparable in intensity to grief after a human loss, with some studies showing only small or negligible differences in severity.
Other work comparing loss experiences notes that while averages may sometimes show slightly lower grief scores for animal deaths, the range is wide. Many individuals experience pet loss grief that is equal to or greater than their grief for a human family member. In other words, your reaction is shaped by attachment, not species.
Neuroscience adds another layer. Brain and attachment research describes how the same neural circuits that process human attachment and grief — regions involved in bonding, reward, and pain — activate in response to losing a deeply bonded pet. That is why the grief can feel physically painful, and why your body reacts as if a core part of life has been torn away. From a brain perspective, it has.
Attachment, Routine, and the Invisible Work Pets Do
Part of what makes the emotional similarity between pet and human loss so striking is how much invisible work pets do in our everyday lives.
They are witnesses to our routines: the morning coffee, the late-night scrolling, the days when we can barely get off the couch. They offer nonverbal comfort — leaning against us, purring, following us from room to room — that quietly regulates stress hormones and lowers blood pressure. Psychologists talk about this as co-regulation: our nervous systems syncing with another living being for calm.
When a pet dies, that co-regulation disappears overnight. The leash by the door, the bed in the corner, the habit of saying their name — each becomes a small shock. This is also why physical memorials matter so much. A small cremation urn on a shelf, a paw-print figurine, or a necklace that holds ashes gives your hands and eyes somewhere to go when your heart is looking for them.
Funeral.com’s Journal article “Cremation Urns, Pet Urns, and Cremation Jewelry: A Gentle Guide to Keeping Ashes Close” explores how families use full-size urns, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, and jewelry together so that everyone has a way to stay connected — whether the loss is a person, a pet, or both.
Modern Cremation Trends Reflect Equal Love
The choices families make after a death tell their own story. One of the biggest shifts in recent decades has been the move toward cremation for humans and pets alike.
According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to reach about 63% in 2025, more than double the burial rate. The Cremation Association of North America reports similar trends, with U.S. cremation rates now above 60% and projected to continue climbing over the next decade.
As cremation becomes the norm, families are asking new questions: what to do with ashes, how to balance keeping ashes at home with scattering, and how to honor both pets and people in ways that feel consistent with their relationships. Funeral.com’s Journal, including guides on cremation, memorial choices, and keeping ashes at home, reflects how common it has become to live daily life alongside an urn on a shelf, a small keepsake, or a piece of jewelry.
When you choose cremation for a pet after choosing it for a spouse, parent, or sibling — or vice versa — you are not equating their roles. You are recognizing that both were family, and that both deserve a thoughtful resting place.
Choosing Urns and Memorials for Humans and Pets Together
Once the immediate shock eases, many families find themselves standing in front of the same question: “Where will they live now?” That question may apply to a human loved one, a pet, or both.
For a primary home memorial, families often choose full-size cremation urns for ashes for people and larger pet urns for ashes for dogs, cats, or other companions. These anchor pieces might sit on a console table, bookshelf, or dedicated memorial corner with framed photos, a candle, and a favorite toy or collar.
When several people are grieving together, small cremation urns and keepsake urns become a way to share both ashes and comfort. In many families, a main urn stays in a central place while small keepsakes travel with adult children or grandchildren.
For pets, there are additional choices that reflect their place in the family story. Pet figurine cremation urns shaped like dogs or cats, or small designs from the pet keepsake cremation urns collection, can feel almost like keeping a familiar silhouette in the room.
And for both people and pets, cremation jewelry — especially cremation necklaces — offers a way to carry a tiny portion of ashes close to your heart. Funeral.com’s cremation jewelry and “Cremation Jewelry 101” guide walk through what these pieces hold, how secure they are, and how they can complement urns rather than replace them.
Debunking Myths That Minimize Pet Grief
Even as research validates grief intensity for pets, many mourners run into painful comments: “It was only a dog.” “You can get another cat.” “At least it wasn’t your child.” These statements are not just insensitive; they contradict what we know from psychology and neuroscience.
Experts describe pet loss as a form of “disenfranchised grief” — grief that is not fully recognized by society. When grief is disenfranchised, people often feel pressure to hide their mourning, which can actually intensify distress. Studies and clinical reports emphasize that acknowledging the depth of the bond, and allowing rituals that mirror human funerals, helps people integrate the loss more healthily.
If you find yourself comparing losses — wondering why losing your dog feels as bad as losing your father — it can help to remember that grief is not a competition. Your brain is responding to attachment, history, and daily reliance, not to a hierarchy of species. For some, the pet was the constant companion through divorce, illness, or distance from family. It makes sense that their absence would feel enormous.
A simple guideline is this: if the relationship was central, the grief will be central, too.
Water Burial, Scattering, and Keeping Ashes at Home
Equal love can also show up in the choices you make about what to do with ashes. Some families keep a person’s urn at home and scatter a pet’s ashes at a favorite park or shoreline — or the reverse. Others choose a joint ceremony.
Funeral.com’s guide “Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony” explains how water burial and scattering ceremonies work, and how biodegradable urns can be used for both humans and pets. For those drawn to keeping ashes at home, Funeral.com’s Journal features multiple guides on home memorials, safety, and family dynamics so that ashes at home feel like a shared choice, not a secret.
As you weigh these options, you may also be trying to understand how much cremation costs. The article “How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options” breaks down typical price ranges for direct cremation, full services, and the added costs of urns, jewelry, and other memorial items, so you can align choices with both your heart and your budget.
What matters most is that the choices feel honest to the relationship. If a shared water ceremony, a row of matching urns, or a single discreet necklace feels right, that is enough of a reason.
You Are Not Overreacting: Grief Is Proportional to Love
If you are reading this because the loss of a pet has blindsided you, or because you are grieving both a person and an animal at once, you are in heavy company. Research, statistics, and brain science all point in the same direction: understanding attachment loss means understanding that your heart does not sort grief by species.
The decisions you are making — about cremation urns, pet urns, cremation necklaces, keeping ashes at home, or planning a water burial — are not “too much.” They are the natural expressions of love trying to find a new form.
Give yourself permission to treat your pet’s memory with the same respect you would offer any beloved family member. Whether that looks like a full-size urn, a small keepsake, a piece of jewelry, or a quiet ceremony in the place you loved most together, it is valid, and it is yours.
