There are losses that rearrange time. When a baby or child dies, many families describe the days afterward as both painfully slow and impossibly fast—appointments, forms, phone calls, decisions you never imagined having to make. Choosing an urn can feel like one more task on an already too-heavy list. But it’s also, for some families, a way to create a gentle place for love to rest: something tangible, chosen with care, that honors a life that matters.
This guide is here to make the process clearer and softer. We’ll walk through infant urn and child cremation urn sizing, what “capacity” actually means for smaller urns, the styles families often choose (from simple boxes to hearts and teddy keepsakes), and practical tips for buying online—without pressure, and without jargon. Along the way, you’ll also find options for keepsake urns, cremation jewelry, and planning considerations like keeping ashes at home, water burial, and what to do with ashes.
Because cremation is now the majority choice in the U.S., more families are navigating these questions than ever. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to reach 63.4% in 2025. The Cremation Association of North America also publishes annual cremation statistics and projections that help families and professionals understand how disposition choices are changing over time.
What “urn size” means for infants and children
When you shop for cremation urns for ashes, the most confusing detail is often the one that sounds the most technical: capacity, measured in cubic inches. The important thing to know is that urn sizing isn’t about the child’s age—it’s about the amount of cremated remains and the way the family plans to memorialize.
Many urn resources use a simple guideline: plan roughly one cubic inch of urn capacity per pound of body weight, then round up for comfort. Funeral.com explains this approach in its guide to urn sizing, and it can be a helpful starting place when you’re feeling overwhelmed: Choosing the Right Urn Size: Capacity Guide for Adults, Children, and Pets. If you want a quick reference, the Cremation Urn Size Chart can also help you compare categories at a glance.
But here’s the compassionate nuance for infant and child urns: many families are not trying to choose “the smallest possible urn.” They’re trying to choose the memorial that feels right. Some want a simple, timeless container. Some want something that feels childlike and comforting. Some want to share ashes among parents, grandparents, and siblings. Some plan a future scattering or water burial and want a small keepsake for home. All of those paths are normal.
A practical way to think about it is this: capacity supports the plan. And your plan can be flexible—especially early on, when you may not know what you’ll want a year from now.
Typical capacities you’ll see when shopping infant and child urns
Most infant and child urn options fall into categories you may already see on shopping pages, even if the labels don’t explicitly say “infant.” A lot of families start by browsing small cremation urns, because these are commonly sized for smaller capacities while still looking like a “primary” urn. Funeral.com’s Small Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is a good place to compare shapes, materials, and capacities in one view.
If your plan involves sharing ashes among loved ones or keeping a portion while scattering the rest, keepsake urns are a common choice. Funeral.com’s Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is designed for small, meaningful portions—often used for sharing among family members or for a quiet tribute at home. If you’re considering dividing ashes, this guide is especially helpful: Keepsake Urns and Sharing Urns: When Families Want to Divide Ashes.
If you’re unsure what category fits best, it can help to browse broadly first and then narrow down by capacity and style. The main Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is a useful starting point if you’d rather not limit your options too early.
Styles families commonly choose after infant or pregnancy loss
There is no “right” style for grief. But certain designs come up often because they match what families are trying to hold: tenderness, innocence, closeness, simplicity.
Small boxes and wood urns that feel quiet and timeless
Some parents choose a small box-style urn because it feels calm—less like a decorative object and more like a private container that can sit in a drawer, a memory chest, or a quiet corner. Box urns can also make sense if you plan on keeping small mementos nearby (a hospital bracelet, a letter, a photo). If you want to browse a range of styles without committing to one look, the broader Cremation Urns for Ashes collection can help you compare what feels fitting.
Hearts, teddy bears, and childlike keepsakes
Other families want a memorial that looks like love—something symbolic and unmistakably connected to childhood. Child-themed keepsakes can offer comfort simply by reflecting the tenderness of the relationship. If that kind of design resonates, start with Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes and then explore more specific shapes and materials from there.
Engraved urns that say their name out loud
Personalization matters here in a way that can be hard to describe until you’re living it. A name, a date, a short message—engraving can transform an item from “a container” into a tribute that acknowledges identity and relationship. If you’re considering personalization, Funeral.com’s Engravable Cremation Urns for Ashes collection shows what’s possible across materials and sizes, including small and keepsake options. If you’re not ready to decide on wording, that’s okay. Some families choose to wait until they can write something that feels true.
Compassionate online shopping tips that reduce regret
Buying an urn online can feel strange—especially when the loss is so intimate. The goal is not to “get it perfect,” but to avoid the common surprises that can add stress later.
Always read the capacity and the closure style
For infant and child memorials, the look of the urn can be misleading. Two urns that appear similar in photos can have very different capacities. Confirm the cubic inches on the product page and, if possible, choose a little more capacity than you think you need. If you want help translating capacity into a size decision, Funeral.com’s urn size guide and the size chart are good references.
Pay attention to the closure too. Some urns seal from the top with a threaded lid; others use a bottom panel or secured base. If the urn will be handled often—moved between households, transported for a service, or kept in a home with children or pets—a secure closure may matter more than a design detail. If you plan to display the urn, consider whether you prefer a discreet bottom opening (often less visually distracting) or a top opening (often easier for a funeral home or family member to fill).
Decide whether you want one urn, a keepsake plan, or both
This is where funeral planning and memorial planning meet. Many families choose one primary urn that stays in one place, then add a second way to keep closeness—such as keepsake urns for family members or cremation necklaces for parents. If you’re exploring jewelry, you can compare styles and materials in Funeral.com’s Cremation Jewelry collection or browse the more specific Cremation Necklaces collection.
If you feel torn, it may help to choose the “today decision” and postpone the “forever decision.” For example, you might choose a small primary urn now for safe keeping, and decide later whether you want keepsakes, jewelry, scattering, or a ceremonial release. Grief often shifts over time; your memorial choices can shift, too.
Think about where the urn will live, not just how it will look
Many parents are drawn to keeping ashes at home—sometimes for a season, sometimes long-term. If that’s part of your plan, Funeral.com’s guide on Keeping Ashes at Home: How to Do It Safely, Respectfully, and Legally covers practical considerations and the emotional reality of living with an urn in everyday space. It can also help you think through privacy, household routines, and what you want others to know (or not know) about where the ashes are kept.
If your mind keeps returning to a ceremony of release—scattering, shoreline, lake, or ocean—this overview can help you understand what families typically do and what to consider: Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony. Even if you don’t know whether you’ll do this, reading about the process can reduce anxiety and help you plan gently.
Cost questions: what families commonly ask (and what’s normal)
Even when money is the last thing you want to talk about, it’s part of real-life planning. Many families wonder how much does cremation cost, especially when infant loss comes with medical bills, time away from work, travel, or the added expenses that can come with pregnancy loss care.
The hard part is that the word “cremation” can mean different packages in different places. One provider may quote direct cremation (often the simplest option), while another includes transportation, a basic urn, permits, or a short service in the same number. Funeral.com’s guide to How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options walks through common price ranges and what typically affects the total.
If you’re trying to anchor a quote against national benchmarks, the NFDA Statistics page is a reputable place to start. And if you’re planning a memorial service alongside cremation, Funeral.com’s How Much Does a Funeral Cost? can help you understand which choices tend to change the final cost the most, so you can spend where it matters to you and simplify what doesn’t.
If cost is a stress point, you’re not doing anything wrong by asking direct questions. It’s reasonable to ask what’s included, what’s optional, and whether any fees can be reduced. Clear information is part of compassionate care.
Support resources for pregnancy loss, infant loss, and child loss
An urn can be a meaningful object, but it shouldn’t be the only place you have to hold the weight of what happened. If you want support that understands this kind of grief, these organizations are widely used and respected. Some offer peer support groups, others provide educational resources, and many can help you feel less isolated in a kind of grief that can be hard for friends and relatives to understand.
If your loss involves miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death, many families start with Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, which offers support, resources, and community connections.
If you’re grieving the death of a child at any age, the MISS Foundation provides bereavement support, crisis resources, and guidance for families navigating child loss.
For education and support resources that many families find approachable—especially in the early days when attention and energy are limited.
If you’re not sure what kind of support would feel most helpful—peer groups, counseling, reading, spiritual care—start small. Even one conversation with someone who “gets it” can make the world feel slightly less lonely. If speaking feels impossible right now, reading other families’ experiences can be a first step toward feeling understood.
A gentle way to choose when you’re not ready to “decide forever”
One of the most honest truths about grief is that your needs can change. Some families choose a primary urn quickly because they want a safe, respectful place for ashes. Later, they add keepsake urns for grandparents, or a cremation necklace for a parent, or they plan a ceremony when the initial shock has softened. That is not indecision. That is love adapting to time.
If you’re not ready to picture the long-term, you can choose “good enough for now.” A secure small urn can give you time and breathing room. When you feel steadier, you can decide whether to keep ashes at home, place an urn in a niche, divide ashes among family, or plan scattering or water burial. Some parents also find meaning in selecting an urn that matches their child’s personality—quiet and simple, playful and symbolic, or classic and engraved—without needing to explain that choice to anyone else.
If you’d like to browse options while keeping your choices open, these Funeral.com starting points are designed to guide you gently: cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, cremation jewelry, and cremation necklaces. You can also revisit the urn size guide whenever you want a calmer, practical reference point.
In time, your family will shape a memorial that fits your love—whether it’s one small urn, multiple keepsakes, a piece of jewelry, a ceremony by water, or a quiet shelf at home.
