The first sign is often the quiet. A dog who usually trots to the kitchen when the bag rustles stays curled on the rug. A cat who used to patrol the windowsill doesn’t bother to get up. In a home where two animals moved like a small, familiar constellation—one always trailing the other—the loss of a companion can change the whole atmosphere. Families notice it in the surviving pet’s eyes, in the way they pause at the empty bed, in the sudden stillness at the door when the car pulls in.
If you’re reading this, you may be carrying two kinds of grief at once: your own, and the worry that your surviving pet is grieving too. That concern is tender and very real. Animals don’t mourn exactly the way humans do, but many do show behavior changes after a companion dies—especially if they were bonded, shared routines, slept near each other, or played daily. Veterinary guidance like VCA’s overview of helping a grieving pet emphasizes watching for appetite and behavior shifts, maintaining routines, and seeking medical help if symptoms persist or worsen. And resources like MSU’s veterinary handout on grief in companion animals echo the same theme: some signs look emotional at first, but they can also overlap with illness, so you don’t want to “wait it out” indefinitely if your pet isn’t improving.
What follows is a gentle, practical path through the next days and weeks—how to recognize distress, how to support your pet in a way that’s soothing (not overwhelming), and how to know when it’s time to bring in a veterinarian or behavior professional.
What grief can look like in a surviving pet
Grief in animals often shows up as a change from “their normal,” not as one single obvious behavior. Some pets become clingy, following you from room to room as if the household has lost its map. Others do the opposite: they retreat, sleeping more, hiding, or choosing a closet or a quiet corner. Appetite is a big one—some pets eat less, or eat only when you sit nearby; others may seem restless and snack more. Vocalizing can change, too: a dog that rarely barks may whine, or a cat may yowl at night. You might see searching behaviors—sniffing around the places the companion used to sleep, pausing at favorite gates or windows, or lingering near the door.
It can help to think of these changes as communication rather than misbehavior. Your pet’s world has shifted. Their companion was part of their daily structure: the shared bowl sounds, the play invitation, the “someone else is here” comfort when you weren’t home. When that presence disappears, a pet may look disoriented for a while—especially in multi-pet households where routines were built around two personalities.
There’s also a second layer many families don’t expect: your grief changes the home’s energy. A pet who is grieving may also be responding to you—your tears, your altered schedule, your absence from the couch where you used to play, the way you pause at the leash hook and then stop. That’s why supporting your pet often starts with small, steady routines that help both of you.
The first week: stabilize the day, not the emotions
In the earliest days, it’s normal to want to “fix” the sadness—extra treats, constant cuddling, endless reassurance. But many animals feel safest when life becomes predictable again. VCA’s guidance stresses routine and observation, especially around eating, sleeping, and activity levels.
Start with the basics: meals at the usual time, walks on a familiar route, litter box cleaning on schedule, bedtime in a consistent place. If your pet is hesitant to eat, try staying nearby during meals, warming food slightly (for aroma), or offering smaller portions more often for a few days. Keep an eye on hydration—water intake matters as much as food, especially if your pet is older or already has health issues.
This is also the moment to keep things “softly normal.” If your pet wants affection, give it—gently, without forcing. If they prefer distance, offer calm companionship instead: sitting in the same room, speaking quietly, letting them choose contact.
If you can, limit major changes during this period. Avoid re-arranging the whole house, hosting noisy gatherings, or changing feeding brands unless you need to. Your pet’s nervous system is already working hard to adjust.
Comfort that actually helps: scent, movement, and quiet enrichment
When a companion dies, some pets seem to “look” for them. That searching can be heartbreaking, and families often ask whether the surviving pet should see or smell the deceased pet. There isn’t one right answer—situations vary, and not every death allows for that kind of goodbye. If it is possible and safe, some behavior professionals believe brief exposure can reduce confusion, but it isn’t required for healing. What matters more is what you do next: provide gentle sensory anchors and low-pressure outlets for stress.
Scent is powerful for animals. If you still have a blanket or bed that smells like the companion, you can keep it available for a while rather than washing it immediately. Some pets curl up on it; others sniff and walk away. Either response is okay. Think of it as offering a familiar “piece” of the relationship without insisting on any particular reaction.
Movement helps, too. Even if your dog’s energy is lower, a short walk at the usual time can act like a nervous-system reset. For cats, play can be softer—wand toys for a minute or two, puzzle feeders, a window perch restock with fresh birdseed outside. The goal isn’t to force joy; it’s to keep your pet’s body engaged enough that stress doesn’t settle into stagnation.
And then there’s quiet enrichment: lick mats for dogs, treat balls, sniff games, slow brushing sessions if your pet likes them. These can become small rituals that say, “You’re safe. The day still has shape.”
Watch the body as much as the behavior
One reason grief is tricky is that it can look like illness. Decreased appetite, lethargy, gastrointestinal upset, and withdrawal can be emotional—but they can also be medical. MSU’s veterinary handout specifically notes that pets who stop improving, take a step backward, or develop persistent symptoms (including ongoing appetite loss or GI signs) should be evaluated by a veterinarian.
A practical approach is to keep a simple “baseline log” for a week or two:
- How much they ate (roughly)
- Bathroom habits (normal or changed)
- Sleep (more, less, restless)
- Interest in play/walks
- Any new clinginess, hiding, or vocalizing
This doesn’t have to become obsessive. It’s just a way to notice trends—especially helpful if you end up calling your vet and want to describe what’s changed.
When it’s time to call the vet or a behavior specialist
Some grief responses fade within a few weeks. Others don’t. You should reach out sooner rather than later if your pet:
- refuses food for more than a day (especially cats), or steadily eats far less than normal
- seems weak, dehydrated, or has vomiting/diarrhea that persists
- becomes aggressive, panicky, or unable to settle
- shows sudden house-soiling or litter box avoidance with no improvement
- appears depressed with no upward trend after a couple of weeks
Your veterinarian can rule out medical problems and talk through supportive care. If the primary issue is anxiety, a certified behavior professional may help you build a plan that uses gradual exposure, calming routines, and, when appropriate, medication support.
As hard as it is to admit, the most loving choice sometimes is simply: “We’re not going to tough this out alone.”
Introducing a new companion: the “not yet” that protects everyone
Families often wonder if getting another pet will “help” the surviving one. Sometimes it does—eventually. But rushing can backfire. A grieving pet may not want a new relationship yet. And you may not be ready either.
Instead of treating a new pet as a replacement, treat it as a future relationship that deserves good timing. A better first step is controlled social exposure: a friend’s calm dog on a short walk, a foster trial if your household is stable, or scent-swapping with a potential new pet before any face-to-face meeting. If you do adopt, go slowly: separate spaces at first, gradual introductions, and parallel routines so the surviving pet doesn’t feel displaced.
In many homes, the “right” time is when your surviving pet has returned to mostly normal habits—eating, sleeping, moving—and you can imagine welcoming a new animal without comparing them to the one you lost.
Supporting a surviving pet while you plan memorial choices
If your household is also making decisions about aftercare—cremation, memorial items, or where ashes will rest—know that your choices can affect your surviving pet’s environment. A new memorial shelf, a photo frame near the bed, an urn placed where your pet sleeps—these can be comforting to you, but you’ll want to place items thoughtfully so your pet doesn’t knock them over or become startled by a new object.
Many families choose keeping ashes at home for a time because it feels grounding during the early weeks of grief. Funeral.com’s guide on keeping ashes at home walks through safe placement, household considerations, and respectful long-term planning.
If your beloved companion was cremated, you may also be deciding between different types of memorials:
Some families want a full-size pet urns for ashes to keep in a quiet place, while others prefer keepsake urns that let multiple people share a small portion. If you’re browsing, Funeral.com’s Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes collection and Pet Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes collection are designed around those different needs—whether you want one central memorial or a few smaller touch points.
If you’re drawn to a memorial that looks like art rather than an urn, Pet Figurine Cremation Urns for Ashes can blend into a bookshelf or mantle in a way that feels less clinical and more like your pet’s presence, gently remembered.
And for families who find comfort in closeness outside the home, cremation jewelry can be a quiet companion in daily life. Funeral.com’s Cremation Jewelry and cremation necklaces collection (Cremation Necklaces) includes pieces designed to hold a tiny portion of ashes—something that can matter on the days you feel unsteady.
These choices aren’t about “moving on.” They’re about giving grief a place to land—so you can focus on caring for the living pet who still needs you.
Where cremation fits into the bigger picture of funeral planning
Even in pet loss, families often bump into broader questions: “What do most people do now?” “Is cremation becoming more common?” “How do we plan something meaningful without getting overwhelmed?” In the U.S., cremation continues to rise. According to the National Funeral Directors Association’s 2025 Cremation & Burial Report news release, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to reach 63.4% in 2025, with cremation projected to account for 82.3% of dispositions by 2045. CANA also publishes ongoing statistics and trend reporting through its industry statistics program and annual reports.
That shift is part of why more families are searching high-intent questions like what to do with ashes, how water burial works, and how much does cremation cost—not just for human loved ones, but for pets too, as memorial options expand and become more personalized. If you’re planning (or simply trying to understand the landscape), Funeral.com’s Journal guides can help you slow things down and make one decision at a time:
If cost is on your mind, How Much Does Cremation Cost? explains common price ranges and what factors change them. And if you’re thinking about ceremony options for ashes—scattering, travel, or water burial—Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony walks through what families can expect.
For households navigating both human loss and pet loss in the same season, having clear, compassionate information can be a form of relief. It turns “everything at once” into “one next step.”
A gentle expectation for healing
Grief in a surviving pet doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it’s just… quieter. A little less spark. A little less appetite. A little more time spent near you. If you support your pet with steady routines, calm companionship, and a watchful eye for health, many pets do adjust over time. Not by forgetting—but by adapting. Their days widen again. They reclaim favorite spots. They accept play invitations. They settle.
And you will, too—especially if you let mourning and caretaking coexist without demanding perfection from either of you.
