At a wake, a visitation, or the quiet moment when guests begin to file out of a church, there is often a small, ordinary exchange that carries surprising weight. Someone reaches for a card from a basket near the guestbook. Someone else slips one into a coat pocket like a promise they do not want to forget. Later, that same card shows up on a kitchen windowsill, tucked into a Bible, or pressed into the corner of a mirror. This is the gentle power of a holy card or prayer card: it gives grief something to hold, and it gives memory a place to rest.
If you are planning a Catholic funeral, a Christian memorial service, or even a more flexible gathering that still includes prayer and Scripture, you may be wondering what these cards are “supposed” to be. Are they the same as memorial cards? Do they need a saint image? Is a photo appropriate? And when do you hand them out without it feeling awkward or performative? The answers are simpler than they seem. A funeral prayer card is not a test of religious knowledge or a design contest. It is a keepsake meant to comfort the living and honor the dead, in a way that feels natural to your family.
What Holy Cards and Prayer Cards Are
A holy card is traditionally a small devotional card—often about the size of a playing card—with a sacred image on the front and a prayer on the back. Many families use the term prayer card interchangeably, especially in funeral settings, because the “holy” part is less about the paper and more about the purpose: prayer, remembrance, and spiritual comfort.
When these cards are created for a funeral, they become what many people call a funeral holy card, a funeral prayer card, or a religious memorial card. They usually include the person’s name, dates, and a short prayer or Scripture reference. In Catholic communities, they may also include a saint, Mary, the Sacred Heart, or an image connected to the funeral liturgy. In other Christian traditions, they may lean toward biblical imagery—crosses, doves, landscapes—or a photograph paired with a verse.
What makes them feel “right” is not a single formula. It is whether the card helps people pray, remember, and feel connected—especially after the service, when the house gets quiet and the reality settles in.
Where the Tradition Comes From
Holy cards have a long, surprisingly human history. They began as simple printed images that pilgrims could carry home as a reminder of a shrine visit, a saint’s intercession, or a moment of spiritual clarity. Over time, they became a familiar part of Catholic devotional life—given by priests and religious sisters, traded among children, and saved like family photographs.
According to the National Catholic Register, early holy cards were sold in the Middle Ages as pilgrimage keepsakes, and one of the oldest surviving examples is a St. Christopher woodcut dated to 1423. As printing methods improved, the tradition spread widely, and what began as a “souvenir of faith” gradually became something more personal: a small image and a few words that could be carried through daily life.
In funeral use, that same logic makes sense. Death can make everything feel too large to hold at once—big emotions, big decisions, big questions. A small card offers a manageable anchor. It says, in a quiet way, “This life mattered, and we will keep remembering.”
Why Prayer Cards Still Matter at Funerals Today
Modern funerals look different than they did a generation ago, and not because families care less. In many cases, families are making choices that allow more flexibility—holding a service later, gathering in smaller groups, or creating rituals that fit travel schedules and finances. Cremation is a major driver of that flexibility. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to be 63.4% in 2025 and is projected to rise substantially by 2045. The Cremation Association of North America reports that the U.S. cremation rate was 61.8% in 2024 and projects continued growth in the coming years.
When more families choose cremation, the memorial timeline often changes. Some families do direct cremation first and then plan a Mass or memorial service when relatives can attend. Some hold a small service now and a larger celebration of life later. In all of these scenarios, a funeral prayer card becomes even more valuable, because it travels well across time. It can be handed out at the visitation, placed on chairs at the memorial, mailed to out-of-town relatives, or tucked into thank-you notes later. It helps the service remain present in people’s lives after the gathering ends.
It can also tie together choices that families increasingly make around funeral planning, including how to remember someone in a way that fits everyday life. If you are selecting cremation urns for ashes, choosing keepsake urns to share among siblings, or deciding whether keeping ashes at home feels comforting or heavy, the prayer card can become part of that same story. It is one more way to make remembrance tangible.
How Holy Cards Differ From Memorial Cards and Mass Cards
Families often use these terms interchangeably, and that is understandable—because in real life, they overlap. Still, it can help to name the differences so you can choose what fits your family and your faith tradition without second-guessing yourself.
- Holy cards are devotional by nature: a sacred image and a prayer, meant for personal prayer and reflection.
- Memorial cards are broader: they may be religious or secular, and often focus on the person’s photo, obituary details, and a poem, quote, or verse.
- Mass cards are a specific Catholic practice: they indicate that a Mass will be offered for someone (often the deceased). As explained by Our Lady of Good Voyage, a Mass card is a greeting card that lets someone know a person (or a deceased loved one) “will be remembered and prayed for” in the intentions at a Mass.
In practice, a funeral prayer card can function as a holy card and a memorial card at the same time. For Catholic funerals, it is also common for families to receive Mass cards from friends and relatives separately. The key is not to force everything into one card, but to let each element do its job: prayer, remembrance, or a concrete expression of spiritual support.
Common Prayers, Verses, and Wording Families Choose
The most common anxiety families have is whether they will “get the wording right.” In reality, the best prayer card wording is simple and faithful to the spirit of the service. You are not writing a theology paper. You are giving people a small companion for the days when grief shows up unexpectedly.
If the funeral is Catholic, many families choose prayers that are familiar and communal—words people already know by heart, or that echo what they heard in the liturgy. If the service is Christian but not Catholic, families often choose a short Scripture reference, a line about comfort and hope, and a prayer that feels consistent with the person’s faith.
Here are a few options that tend to work across many Catholic and Christian services, and that can easily be adapted into a funeral prayer card template:
- The “Eternal Rest” prayer (often used at Catholic funerals and during the days that follow).
- Psalm 23 (many families print a reference or a short excerpt rather than the full passage).
- John 14 (a common reading theme about peace and preparing a place).
- The Lord’s Prayer (especially meaningful when prayed together at the service).
- A simple prayer for comfort and gratitude that includes the person’s name.
- A brief line about reunion and hope, paired with a Scripture reference rather than a long quotation.
If you are unsure what is appropriate, the simplest approach is also the most respectful: ask the priest, pastor, or funeral director what they see most often, and what fits the service you are planning. Many families find relief in hearing, “Yes, that is completely appropriate.”
Photo and Design Options That Feel Meaningful
Design choices can feel emotionally loaded, especially when multiple relatives have strong opinions. One person wants a traditional saint image. Another wants a smiling photo “so people remember her that way.” A third feels uneasy about photos, or worries the card will feel like a party favor. In most cases, the path forward is to focus on the card’s purpose: it should be easy to keep, easy to read, and gentle to look at months later.
For Catholic funerals, traditional fronts include images of Jesus, Mary, the Sacred Heart, the Divine Mercy image, a patron saint, or symbols like a cross and lilies. For Christian funerals broadly, design often centers on a cross, a dove, light through clouds, or nature imagery. A photograph can be entirely appropriate in both contexts, especially when it is understated and dignified. If you do choose a photo, families often prefer one where the person looks like themselves—warm, recognizable, not overly posed.
On the back, the layout usually works best when it is simple: name, dates, a short prayer or verse, and (if desired) one line like “In Loving Memory” or “Forever Loved.” If the funeral includes cremation and a memorial service is planned later, some families add a quiet line such as “Memorial Mass to follow” or “Celebration of Life details enclosed,” especially when the service is not immediately tied to a cemetery burial.
And if your family is navigating multiple kinds of memorial decisions at once—cards, programs, an urn, and perhaps keepsakes—this is where cohesion can be comforting. Some families match the prayer card design style to the memorial display they are creating at home or at the service: a framed photo, candles, flowers, and (if cremation is involved) the urn itself.
Etiquette for Handing Them Out
There is no single “correct” moment to distribute prayer cards, and that is good news. The right timing depends on the flow of your service and what feels natural in your community.
At a wake or visitation, many families place the stack of cards near the guestbook, alongside pens, memorial folders, and perhaps a small sign-in table. People take one as they arrive or as they leave. At a funeral Mass or church service, cards are often placed on a table in the narthex, handed out by ushers, or set on chairs before the service begins. For a graveside service, families sometimes give them out at the end, when people are ready to say goodbye and may appreciate a small keepsake to take with them.
If you are concerned about it feeling transactional, a helpful reframe is this: you are not “handing out cards.” You are offering a way for people to continue remembering. If someone forgets to take one, that is okay. If someone takes an extra for a family member who could not attend, that is also okay. These cards are meant to travel.
As for quantity, a practical rule is to print roughly the number of people you expect, plus a modest buffer. Prayer cards often become keepsakes for grandchildren, godchildren, and relatives who will want one months later. Planning for that reality is not wasteful; it is compassionate.
Prayer Cards in a World Where Cremation Is Common
Even if the funeral is religious, many families today are simultaneously making practical decisions about disposition and long-term memorialization. That is where prayer cards can quietly bridge the spiritual and the practical. They can sit beside an urn at the service. They can be placed in a memory box at home. They can travel with someone who is carrying grief back to another state.
If you are choosing an urn, you may find it helpful to separate the decision into two questions: “Where will the ashes be now?” and “Where will they be later?” Funeral.com’s guide How to Choose a Cremation Urn That Fits Your Plans walks through that “now and later” thinking in plain language, including how families combine a primary urn with keepsake urns when multiple relatives want a portion.
For families who plan to keep the urn at home—either temporarily or long-term—questions about keeping ashes at home are common and normal. Funeral.com’s resources Should You Keep Cremated Ashes at Home? and Ashes at Home: Safety, Etiquette, and Talking with Family About Long-Term Plans can help you think through placement, family dynamics, and what feels respectful in daily life.
If your family is still deciding what to do with ashes, you may be considering options like burial, scattering, a niche, or a ceremony involving water. A water burial (or water-based ceremony) can be deeply meaningful for families who feel connected to the ocean, a lake, or a particular shoreline. Funeral.com’s guide Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony explains what families typically do, what biodegradable options are designed for, and how the ritual often unfolds.
And for families balancing meaning with budget, cost clarity matters. If you have found yourself asking how much does cremation cost, Funeral.com’s article How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options is a practical companion, especially when you are trying to understand what is included, what is optional, and how memorial items fit into the total.
When families choose cremation, they also often choose more than one form of remembrance. Some keep most ashes in a full-size urn and share a small amount among relatives. That is where small cremation urns can feel like a balanced middle: more substantial than a tiny keepsake, but still easy to place in a personal space. Others prefer a set of keepsake urns so siblings, adult children, or close friends can each have a portion. And for those who want something wearable and private, cremation jewelry is often the most emotionally sustainable choice—something you can carry without having to explain it to anyone.
If that resonates, Funeral.com’s guide Cremation Jewelry 101 explains how these pieces work and who they tend to be right for, and you can explore options in cremation jewelry and cremation necklaces. In a sense, prayer cards and cremation jewelry serve a similar human need: they let remembrance move with you through ordinary life.
Including Pets, Too
Many families planning a funeral are also carrying other, quieter griefs—especially the loss of a beloved pet that happened recently, or that is tightly woven into the person’s story. In those moments, it can be comforting to acknowledge that mourning is rarely “one thing at a time.” Some families choose to include a line on a prayer card that references a pet waiting “at peace,” while others create a separate keepsake card for the pet, especially when children are grieving.
If your family is also navigating choices around pet cremation, the language is often the same language of love: you are deciding what to do with ashes, how to create a home memorial, and what feels like a fitting tribute. Funeral.com’s guide Choosing the Right Urn for Pet Ashes walks through sizing and personalization in a gentle, practical way. And if you are browsing options, Funeral.com’s collections include pet cremation urns, pet figurine cremation urns, and pet keepsake cremation urns—choices that range from discreet to deeply personal.
A Practical Way to Decide What Your Card Should Be
When families feel stuck, it is usually because they are trying to make the “perfect” card represent an entire life. A more workable approach is to let the card have a smaller job description. The front can offer a peaceful image or a photograph. The back can offer a prayer that people can return to, plus the essential facts that help memory stay anchored in reality.
If your loved one was Catholic, it is completely appropriate for the card to feel Catholic: saints, Mary, and familiar prayers are part of how many families grieve. If your loved one was Christian in a broader sense, it is also appropriate for the card to reflect that tradition: Scripture references, a cross, and words of comfort that fit the community. If your family is mixed-faith, you can still create a card that welcomes everyone by choosing language focused on love, rest, peace, and gratitude, while keeping the prayer simple and sincere.
And if you are carrying a lot of decisions at once—cards, services, costs, disposition, and the question of what comes next—try to remember that each choice does not have to do everything. Prayer cards can be one calm, steady element in the middle of funeral planning. They can sit beside an urn if you choose cremation urns for ashes. They can be tucked into a condolence note. They can be saved by someone who needed a tangible reminder that your loved one’s life mattered.
In that way, the card becomes what it has quietly been for centuries: a small window that lets light in, even when the days feel heavy.
