There’s a particular kind of comfort in what’s small.
In the days after a death, families often move through big decisions—paperwork, phone calls, schedules, costs—while the heart keeps reaching for something ordinary and human: a familiar sweater, a handwriting sample, the scent left on a pillow. A lock of hair can feel like that. Not because it’s dramatic, but because it’s real. It’s tangible, personal, and quietly unchanged by time in a way so many other things are not.
That instinct isn’t new. The Victorians were famously open about grief and remembrance, and they created a whole vocabulary of objects—rings, lockets, brooches—meant to carry a person forward into everyday life. Hairwork jewelry, in particular, let families hold onto a physical trace without needing an entire room dedicated to memorial. Today, many families are rediscovering that same desire, sometimes in the form of a modern pendant or mini frame, sometimes paired with cremation jewelry, and sometimes alongside a primary urn as part of broader funeral planning.
This is a gentle guide to the history behind hair memorial jewelry—and the practical, respectful ways families use lock-of-hair keepsakes now, including how to preserve hair, how to combine hair with ashes or engraving in a subtle way, and how to make it all fit into the larger question most people eventually ask: what to do with ashes.
Why hair became a keepsake in the first place
Hair is intimate, but it’s also strangely durable. Unlike flowers, it doesn’t wilt. Unlike paper, it doesn’t crumble as easily. Unlike a digital photo, it doesn’t require a device to exist.
That durability is one reason Victorian hairwork took hold so strongly in the 19th century, when photography was becoming more common but still wasn’t available—or affordable—to everyone. In an era when illness and death were part of daily life, people used hair to make remembrance wearable. A braid might be tucked into a locket. A curl might sit behind glass in a brooch. Some pieces were elaborate enough to be recognized as art, and others were quiet enough to pass as ordinary jewelry unless you knew the story.
The Smithsonian has written about how Victorians made jewelry from hair and how widespread the practice became, including the way it carried both sentiment and social meaning. According to the Smithsonian Magazine, hair jewelry was both personal and culturally significant in Victorian life.
What’s worth noting is that hair jewelry was not only for mourning. It was also a token of closeness among the living—something exchanged between sweethearts, mothers and children, family members separated by travel. In other words: it wasn’t “morbid” to them. It was continuity.
And that’s the same reason it speaks to modern families now.
Victorian mourning jewelry, without the stereotype
When we picture Victorian mourning traditions, we tend to imagine rigid black clothes and heavy symbolism. That did exist, but it’s not the whole story. Many mourning pieces were designed to be discreet—kept close to the body, not shown off. The Gemological Institute of America describes mourning jewelry as a deeply personal expression, often shaped by symbolism and meant to keep the departed “near to the heart.” See GIA.
Hair fit naturally into that purpose. It could be worn daily without requiring a public explanation. It didn’t announce grief so much as accompany it.
If you’re reading this as someone considering hair memorial jewelry today, it may help to release yourself from the idea that remembrance has to look a certain way. A keepsake can be simple, modern, and subtle—and still be rooted in a long tradition of love.
How modern families use lock-of-hair keepsakes today
Today’s hair memorial jewelry tends to fall into a few gentle categories—less about Victorian complexity, more about practicality and everyday wear. Many families choose a small locket or pendant with a protected compartment for hair, a resin or glass-style keepsake that suspends a lock of hair, a tiny frame or memorial charm meant to live beside a photo, or a piece that pairs hair with engraving like a name, date, or short message.
What modern families often want is flexibility. Sometimes they want hair as the primary keepsake. Other times, hair is one thread in a larger memorial plan that might also include cremation urns, keepsake urns, or cremation necklaces.
That blend matters because more families are navigating cremation than ever before. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected to reach about 63.4% in 2025, with projections rising to 82.3% by 2045.
In a cremation-first world, families often build memorials in layers: something at home, something wearable, something shared across households. Hair jewelry can fit into that layered approach naturally.
Combining hair and ashes in a tasteful, subtle way
Not every family wants hair to be visible inside jewelry. Many prefer a private compartment—something only they know is there. That preference is one reason cremation jewelry has become such a common category of memorial item: the design language is already discreet.
Some modern “urn jewelry” pieces can hold a symbolic amount of ashes, but they can also hold other tiny keepsakes—like a lock of hair. Funeral.com’s Cremation Necklaces collection notes that many designs are built with a concealed chamber that can hold ashes or a lock of hair.
If you’re considering combining hair and ashes, think in terms of proportion and intention. A small amount of hair can pair beautifully with a tiny portion of ashes in cremation urns for ashes at home—especially when the goal is “comfort in more than one place,” not a single perfect object that must carry everything.
For families who want a wearable option, browsing the broader Cremation Jewelry collection can help you see what “discreet” looks like in practice—pendants, bracelets, and subtle shapes that don’t announce the story to strangers.
Where hair memorial jewelry fits into a full memorial plan
Grief often makes families feel like they need to decide everything immediately. But memorial choices can be staged. You can begin with what’s manageable, then refine later.
A common rhythm looks like this: you choose cremation (whether for budget, simplicity, personal values, or family tradition). Then you face the practical question of where the ashes will rest right now. Many families choose keeping ashes at home for a period of time because it creates emotional breathing room. Funeral.com’s guide on Keeping Ashes at Home walks through safety, placement, family comfort levels, and long-term thinking in plain language.
From there, hair jewelry becomes less of a “big decision” and more of a gentle addition: a way to carry closeness into daily life while an urn provides a stable home base.
If you’re early in funeral planning and trying to organize the overall process, Funeral.com’s How to Plan a Funeral in 7 Steps can help you sort timing, paperwork, and service options without forcing rushed choices about memorial objects.
Choosing the right “anchor” at home: urns that match real life
If hair memorial jewelry is the piece you hold close, the urn is often the piece that holds the plan together.
Families typically choose a primary urn first, then decide whether to share or separate small portions later. If you’re looking for a central memorial, Funeral.com’s Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is a broad starting point.
If you’re planning something smaller—limited space, multiple households, or a preference for a compact memorial—small cremation urns can be a meaningful middle ground between jewelry and a full-size urn. See Small Cremation Urns for Ashes.
And if the goal is to share among several people, keepsake urns are designed for exactly that. See Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes. Funeral.com also has a helpful Journal piece, Keepsake Urns and Sharing Urns, that explains the “one primary + several smalls” approach in a way that feels human, not transactional.
Hair memorial jewelry can slot into this same structure: one anchor at home, one or more private keepsakes that travel with the people who need them.
Pet hair keepsakes and pet urns
Families often ask whether hair memorial jewelry is “only for people.” In practice, it’s frequently requested after pet loss too—especially because pet grief can be intensely physical and daily-life oriented. A lock of fur can feel like a thread back to routines: the sound of paws, the weight of a head in your lap.
If your keepsake plan includes cremated pet remains, pet urns and pet urns for ashes have the same spectrum of choices as human urns—wood, ceramic, figurines, keepsakes—just scaled appropriately. Funeral.com’s Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes is the main collection hub.
For families drawn to something that looks like art on a shelf (not “an urn”), Pet Figurine Cremation Urns for Ashes can be especially comforting.
And for sharing among family members—or keeping a small portion while scattering or burial happens later—pet cremation urns also come in keepsake sizes. See Pet Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes.
Preserving a lock of hair without making it complicated
Many families worry they’ll “ruin” the hair by handling it wrong. The truth is: hair is resilient, but it benefits from being kept clean, dry, and protected from friction.
A practical approach is to make sure the hair is fully dry before storing, bundle it gently without tight bands that can kink strands, place it in a small paper envelope (paper helps prevent trapped moisture), then store that envelope inside a sealed bag or small container for extra protection. Keep it out of direct sunlight and away from high humidity.
If you’re sending hair to a jeweler for a custom piece, treat it like you would a small heirloom: label it clearly, seal it carefully, and document what you sent with a quick photo and note.
And if you’re pairing hair with cremation jewelry, the goal should be safety and security. Funeral.com’s Cremation Jewelry 101 is a reassuring explainer of how these pieces are constructed and how they fit alongside urns, not instead of them.
Cost, clarity, and planning without regret
It’s normal to feel uneasy talking about money when grief is fresh. But cost clarity can reduce panic, which gives families more room for meaning.
The NFDA Statistics page notes national median costs (for 2023) of $8,300 for a funeral with viewing and burial, and $6,280 for a funeral with cremation.
On the cremation side specifically, Funeral.com’s How Much Does Cremation Cost? is a practical guide that helps families understand what’s included in direct cremation versus cremation with services—and how memorial items like cremation urns for ashes and jewelry fit into the overall picture.
Hair memorial jewelry often feels appealing here because it can be meaningful without being large or elaborate. It’s not “less than” a bigger memorial—it’s simply a different kind of closeness.
When ashes will eventually move: scattering, water burial, and long timelines
One reason families like hair keepsakes is that they remain steady even if the ashes are eventually scattered, buried, or moved.
If your family is considering water burial, Funeral.com’s Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony walks through what to expect and how families plan respectfully.
And if you’re still undecided—keeping an urn at home for now, scattering later, dividing among relatives—this Funeral.com Journal piece on Scattering Ashes vs Keeping an Urn at Home is a calm way to weigh the emotional and practical factors without forcing a rushed answer.
In a time when cremation is increasingly common, these layered plans are becoming normal, not unusual. The NFDA also notes that preferences among people who would choose cremation are split across keeping remains at home in an urn, interment, scattering, and other options—there isn’t a single “right” modern path.
A modern version of a Victorian truth
The Victorians understood something we still learn the hard way: remembrance is not one decision. It’s a series of small acts that help life continue while love remains.
Hair memorial jewelry can be one of those acts—especially when it’s chosen gently, preserved simply, and woven into a broader plan that might also include cremation urns, pet cremation urns, keepsake urns, and cremation necklaces. It doesn’t have to be ornate. It just has to feel like yours.
