Emailing Your Boss for Bereavement Leave: Subject Lines, What to Include, and Sample Emails

When someone dies, your brain is immediately asked to do too many things at once: feel grief, make decisions, coordinate family, and still communicate with work in a way that is “professional.” If you are staring at a blank email draft, you are not alone. A thoughtful bereavement leave email to boss is not about performing composure. It is about creating clarity at a moment when clarity is hard to access.

This guide is built to be copy-and-paste friendly, but it is also meant to ease the pressure you may feel to explain more than you want to explain. You can ask for time away with dignity and boundaries. You can be brief without being cold. You can protect your privacy while still helping your team plan. And if you are supporting funeral arrangements, you can communicate the essentials without turning your email into a personal narrative.

First, a grounding truth: bereavement leave is usually a policy issue, not a federal guarantee

Many workplaces do offer bereavement leave, and many managers want to be supportive, but the rules are not universal. In the U.S., the U.S. Department of Labor notes that the Fair Labor Standards Act does not require employers to pay for time not worked, including time off to attend a funeral, and that funeral leave benefits are generally a matter of agreement between employer and employee. U.S. Department of Labor

That does not mean you have to navigate this without protection. Some states have their own rules. For example, California’s Civil Rights Department explains that most employees are entitled to up to five days of bereavement leave after the death of certain family members, with specific eligibility and documentation guidance. California Civil Rights Department

Other states approach bereavement leave through family leave frameworks. Oregon’s Bureau of Labor and Industries describes bereavement leave under OFLA, including timing and caps (for example, limits per family member and per leave year). Oregon BOLI

What this means in practice is simple: a good request bereavement leave email should assume your manager and HR may be operating from policy language. Your email does not need to argue for your grief. It only needs to communicate what they need to approve time off and keep work moving.

What to include in a bereavement leave email (without oversharing)

If you take nothing else from this article, take this: your message becomes easier when you treat it like a small, compassionate logistics note. Most managers are looking for three things, and you can provide them in two or three calm paragraphs.

• Your request and timing (what you need and when you expect to be away).
• Your coverage plan (what is urgent, what can wait, and who can handle what).
• Your best contact boundary (how to reach you only if truly necessary, or when you will check messages).

This structure works whether you are writing a funeral time off email to a direct manager, or an HR bereavement leave request that needs to be documented. It also keeps you from feeling like you have to “sound okay” to be taken seriously.

How much detail you are (and are not) obligated to share

You can decide what details to include. In many workplaces, “I experienced a death in my family” is enough. If you prefer, you can name the relationship (“my father,” “my sibling,” “my grandparent”) because policies often use relationship categories. But you are not obligated to explain circumstances, illness, or personal family dynamics to justify time away.

Documentation is sometimes requested, but even then, the request is usually about verifying that the leave qualifies under policy rather than gathering personal information. For example, California’s guidance notes that if documentation is requested, it may be an obituary or verification from a funeral home, and that employers must keep documentation confidential except as necessary or required by law. California Civil Rights Department

If you are unsure what your workplace requires, you can keep your email simple and let HR ask follow-up questions. You do not have to preemptively attach anything unless you already know it is expected.

Subject lines that are clear, kind, and easy to approve

A bereavement leave subject line is not a creative writing prompt. It is a label that helps your manager quickly understand what your email is about, especially if they are scanning messages between meetings. If your manager is supportive, straightforward language is usually best.

• Bereavement leave request
• Request for bereavement leave (dates)
• Time off request due to a death in the family
• Out of office: bereavement leave
• Need to request bereavement leave
• Family emergency: bereavement leave request

If your workplace culture is more formal, adding dates in parentheses can reduce back-and-forth. If your culture is more casual, “Out today and tomorrow due to a family death” may be acceptable. The goal is not perfection; it is clarity.

What to say about coverage when your brain is not cooperating

Coverage language is often the hardest part, because grief makes it difficult to think through tasks. If you can, name one or two immediate priorities and one person who can help. If you cannot, it is still acceptable to say you will send a brief handoff list as soon as you can.

In practice, this can be as simple as: “I’ve asked Jordan to cover client emails today; the Smith file can wait until I return; if anything time-sensitive comes up, please text me.” Clear handoffs reduce anxiety on both sides. They also protect you from getting pulled into work repeatedly while you are trying to be present for your family.

When bereavement leave overlaps with funeral arrangements and long decisions

Many people assume bereavement leave is “just” about attending a funeral. In reality, time off often includes travel, paperwork, and the emotional labor of funeral planning. It may also include decisions that linger after you return to work, especially when cremation is chosen and the “after” choices become part of everyday life.

These choices are increasingly common. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected at 63.4% in 2025, with long-term projections continuing upward. National Funeral Directors Association The Cremation Association of North America reports a U.S. cremation rate of 61.8% in 2024 and projects continued increases through 2029. Cremation Association of North America

If cremation is part of your family’s plan, you may find yourself making decisions about cremation urns, where ashes will rest, and whether your family wants a “now” plan and a “later” plan. NFDA notes that among people who prefer cremation, many choices remain open-ended: some prefer an urn at home, some prefer scattering, and some prefer cemetery placement. National Funeral Directors Association

When you are ready, Funeral.com has practical resources that can reduce decision fatigue. If you are comparing styles and capacities, you can start with the basics of choosing cremation urns for ashes and understanding closure types in this urn selection guide, and you can use the urn size calculator guide to confirm capacity before you buy. If you want to browse options without pressure, these collections are helpful starting points: cremation urns for ashes, small cremation urns, and keepsake urns.

And if “keeping them close” is part of what you need right now, you may also be weighing keeping ashes at home, how to handle what to do with ashes, or whether a ceremony like water burial is meaningful for your family. Funeral.com’s guides on keeping ashes at home, what to do with ashes, and water burial are designed to help you feel steadier without forcing a quick decision.

Some families also find comfort in wearable keepsakes. If that is you, you can explore cremation jewelry, including cremation necklaces, and learn the basics in Cremation Jewelry 101. For pet families navigating loss, Funeral.com’s pet urns for ashes include specialty options like pet figurine cremation urns and pet keepsake cremation urns, with guidance in this complete pet urns guide.

Cost is another reality that often lands on your shoulders during leave. NFDA reports a 2023 national median cost of $6,280 for a funeral with cremation and $8,300 for a funeral with viewing and burial, which can help you benchmark choices when you are comparing plans. National Funeral Directors Association If you are searching “how much does cremation cost” and you want a plain-language breakdown of fees and add-ons, Funeral.com’s cremation costs breakdown is a useful starting point.

Sample emails you can copy and paste

Below are sample emails written for different workplace cultures. Each one follows the same structure: request, dates, coverage, and contact boundary. Use what fits your situation, and delete anything that feels like too much.

Sample 1: Short and direct (supportive manager)

Subject: Bereavement leave request

Hi [Manager Name],

I’m writing to let you know there has been a death in my family. I’d like to request bereavement leave from [Start Date] through [End Date]. I will be offline during this time.

I’ve asked [Colleague Name] to cover anything urgent, and I’ll send a brief handoff note within the next hour. If something truly time-sensitive comes up, you can reach me by text at [Phone].

Thank you for understanding,
[Your Name]

Sample 2: Professional and complete (most workplaces)

Subject: Request for bereavement leave ([Start Date]–[End Date])

Hi [Manager Name],

I’m reaching out to request bereavement leave due to a death in my family. I plan to be out from [Start Date] through [End Date], and I expect to return on [Return Date].

For coverage, [Colleague Name] can handle [Client/Inbox/Process], and I’ve updated [Project/Document/Tracker] with current status and next steps. The only item that may require immediate attention is [Brief Urgent Item]; everything else can pause until I’m back.

If you need me for an emergency decision, please email and also text [Phone]. Otherwise, I will be largely offline during this time.

Thank you,
[Your Name]

Sample 3: Formal workplace with HR looped in

Subject: Bereavement leave request

Hi [Manager Name],

I’m writing to request bereavement leave following a death in my family. I’m requesting leave from [Start Date] through [End Date], returning on [Return Date].

I have notified [HR Contact Name/HR Team] and will follow any required process for bereavement leave documentation and timekeeping. For coverage, I have coordinated with [Colleague Name] on [Key Responsibility], and I will share a brief transition note today.

Thank you for your support,
[Your Name]

Sample 4: You are already out (same-day notification)

Subject: Out today due to a death in the family

Hi [Manager Name],

I’m writing to let you know there has been a death in my family, and I need to take bereavement leave beginning today. I will be out [today and tomorrow / through End Date], and I’ll confirm my return date as soon as I can.

For anything urgent, please contact [Colleague Name] for [Coverage Area]. If an emergency decision is needed, you can text me at [Phone], but I may be slow to respond.

Thank you for understanding,
[Your Name]

Sample 5: Requesting additional time beyond the bereavement policy

Subject: Request to extend time off following bereavement leave

Hi [Manager Name],

Thank you again for the support around my bereavement leave. I’m realizing I will need additional time beyond the standard policy, and I’d like to request an extension through [New End Date], returning on [Return Date].

I understand we may need to use [PTO/unpaid leave/other leave category] for the additional days. I can coordinate coverage with [Colleague Name] and will be available briefly on [Date/Time] to review any priorities that can’t wait.

Please let me know what you need from me to document the request.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]

If your manager asks about FMLA, sick leave, or “what category this falls under”

In many workplaces, bereavement leave is a distinct policy category. In others, it is tracked through sick leave, PTO, or unpaid leave. Sometimes managers mention the Family and Medical Leave Act because they want to help you protect your job while you step away. It is helpful to know what FMLA is and is not.

The U.S. Department of Labor explains that FMLA provides eligible employees of covered employers with unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and medical reasons, including caring for a family member with a serious health condition or a serious health condition that makes the employee unable to work. U.S. Department of Labor Bereavement itself is typically handled through company policy or state law rather than federal FMLA coverage. If grief affects your health in a clinically significant way, it may intersect with other leave categories, but that is a separate conversation and often involves HR documentation. Your email to your manager does not need to litigate this. It only needs to start the process.

What to do if you are asked for proof

If HR requests documentation, try not to interpret it as suspicion. In many organizations, it is a standard compliance step. Keep it simple: ask what they accept, how to submit it, and whether it should go directly to HR rather than your manager. If you are in a state with specific rules, your HR team may already know what is required and how confidentiality works, as California’s guidance explains. California Civil Rights Department

FAQs