Do You Need a Funeral Planner or Concierge Service? When Extra Help Is Worth It

In the days after a death, there’s a strange collision between grief and logistics. You’re trying to absorb what happened, and at the same time you’re expected to make decisions quickly: transportation, paperwork, timing, guests, religious expectations, budget, and what kind of goodbye actually fits the person you love. For many families, the funeral home’s team is enough support. But for others, a funeral planner or funeral concierge service becomes the difference between “we got through it” and “we were overwhelmed the entire time.”

This guide is here to help you decide whether funeral planning help is worth paying for in your specific situation, what these services usually do, how costs tend to work, and how to avoid the kinds of expensive mistakes that happen when everyone is exhausted. Along the way, we’ll also connect the dots between planning support and the decisions families commonly face around cremation urns, pet urns, cremation jewelry, and what to do with ashes when you’re not ready to decide everything at once.

Why more families are looking for planning support

Cremation is now the majority choice in the U.S., which has changed how families plan services and memorials. The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) projects the U.S. cremation rate at 63.4% in 2025, compared with a projected burial rate of 31.6%. The Cremation Association of North America (CANA) reports a U.S. cremation rate of 61.8% in 2024. Those numbers matter for one practical reason: there are more valid ways to do this now. You can choose direct cremation and hold a memorial later, you can keep ashes at home for a while, you can share portions in keepsakes, you can plan water burial ceremonies, and you can create wearable keepsakes like cremation necklaces. More options can be comforting, but they can also be mentally taxing when time is short.

Cost pressure is part of the story, too. NFDA’s 2023 median costs (often cited as a baseline for planning conversations) list $8,300 for a funeral with viewing and burial and $6,280 for a funeral with viewing and cremation. You can review those benchmarks on the NFDA statistics page. Whether your family spends less or more than those medians, the core problem is the same: grief makes it harder to compare apples to apples, and stress makes it easier to say yes to things you don’t actually want.

What a funeral planner or concierge actually does

A funeral concierge service is not the same thing as a funeral director, and it’s not meant to replace the funeral home. Think of it as an organizing layer that sits above the details: someone who helps you create a plan, keep the plan moving, and protect your energy for the parts that matter emotionally.

What that looks like in real life depends on the service model, but it often includes:

• Building a clear timeline (what must happen today, what can wait, what depends on permits or travel).
• Coordinating vendors and venues for memorials or celebrations of life (especially when the service is not at the funeral home).
• Managing family communication so one person is not fielding dozens of calls and texts.
• Gathering and comparing pricing information, including itemized lists, so you can understand what you’re paying for.
• Helping with travel logistics, hotels, flights, accessibility needs, and guest coordination.
• Keeping track of documents, authorizations, and the “paperwork pile” that grows quickly.

Some concierge services also provide advocacy during shopping conversations. In the U.S., consumers have specific rights under the FTC Funeral Rule, including the right to receive a General Price List (GPL) and to choose only the goods and services you want. That’s not about being confrontational. It’s about making sure your choices reflect your values, not just your fatigue.

When hiring extra help is truly worth it

Not every family needs a planner. But there are situations where hire a funeral planner stops being a luxury and starts being a relief. Here are the patterns that tend to predict “this will be harder than we think”:

You’re planning from a distance

Long-distance planning adds delays and misunderstandings: someone has to be physically present to sign, to view options, to confirm details, to pick up items, to solve last-minute problems. If the next of kin is out of state, a planner can act like your grounded “local hands,” coordinating details while you focus on family decisions and travel timing.

The family situation is complex

Blended families, estrangements, and differing expectations can create a quiet but intense planning environment. Even when everyone means well, communication can become tense fast. A neutral coordinator can help by setting a shared timeline, keeping decisions documented, and creating clear boundaries around what is being decided now versus later.

There are multiple events or multiple locations

A funeral at a church, a burial at a cemetery, and a reception at a separate venue is three moving parts, not one. Add livestreaming, out-of-town guests, or cultural rituals, and you’re basically running an event while grieving. This is one of the clearest cases where funeral coordination services can prevent expensive last-minute fixes.

You’re making cremation decisions that involve sharing, travel, or non-traditional ceremonies

Cremation can be simple, but it can also be complex when a family wants to share ashes among siblings, plan a later scattering, or coordinate a ceremony like water burial. If you’re thinking, “We’re not ready to decide everything,” that’s normal. You can create a respectful “for now” plan with cremation urns for ashes at home and decide later. Funeral.com’s guide on keeping ashes at home is a steady starting point for what’s normal, what’s safe, and how families handle the in-between.

When you are ready to choose memorial containers, it helps to separate the decision into two simple questions: “What is the plan?” and “What should the container do?” If you want to browse a wide range of styles, start with cremation urns for ashes. If your plan involves sharing portions or you want something more compact for home display, small cremation urns and keepsake urns are often the categories that make the plan feel doable.

There’s also a pet loss in the mix

It’s more common than people talk about: a pet passes around the same time as a family member, or a pet’s ashes need to be handled while everyone is already emotionally depleted. If your household is grieving a companion animal too, you may appreciate a planner who can handle the practical pieces without treating it like a minor detail. Families who want options can start with pet cremation urns, and if the memorial you want is more sculptural or “looks like them,” the pet figurine cremation urns collection is built for that kind of tribute. If you’re sharing a small portion among multiple family members, pet keepsake cremation urns can be a gentle solution that avoids turning the decision into conflict.

How much does a funeral planner cost?

There is no single national “going rate” for funeral planner cost, because these services vary from simple coordination to full-service planning. Many operate either hourly, by package, or by flat-rate estimate based on complexity.

To give you real-world reference points, some funeral concierge providers publish pricing publicly. For example, Concierge Funeral Services lists billable rates ranging from $100 to $225 per hour, and also describes a flat-rate model based on needs and budget on its pricing page. Event-style memorial planners sometimes offer tiered packages; Eternally Loved, for instance, lists packages from $500 to $3,000 on its pricing page (with the important note that venue, catering, and other event expenses are separate).

The honest way to evaluate the cost isn’t “Is that expensive?” It’s “What is the cost of doing this without help?” If your family is likely to make rushed decisions, miss deadlines, pay for services you don’t want, or burn out the one person holding everything together, paid support can be cheaper than the mistakes. And even when it’s not cheaper, it can be worth it if it protects your energy and reduces conflict.

Where a concierge can prevent expensive mistakes

Most “expensive mistakes” aren’t about being careless. They’re about making decisions without clear information. In the U.S., you have the right to itemized pricing, and you can ask questions without feeling guilty about it. The FTC Funeral Rule is designed to support exactly that moment when a family needs clarity.

A planner can help you slow down just enough to see what’s optional, what’s required, and what’s simply being presented as “standard.” They can also help you compare providers, especially when package language makes two quotes look similar but the included items are very different. If you want a calm reference for how costs are typically structured, Funeral.com’s funeral cost breakdown is a practical walkthrough in plain language.

They can also reduce the “add-on spiral” when cremation is involved. Families often ask how much does cremation cost, but the total can change depending on whether there is a viewing, facility time, transportation, the type of memorial, and whether an urn is included. Funeral.com’s guide How Much Does Cremation Cost? helps families see those cost bands more clearly so they can choose intentionally.

How planners help with ashes decisions without rushing you

One of the most tender parts of planning is what comes after: the moment you receive the remains and realize you still have choices to make. The question what to do with ashes is practical, but it’s also emotional. Some families know immediately where the remains should go. Others don’t, and that’s not a failure. It’s human.

A good planner can help you create a respectful temporary plan while you decide. That might look like choosing a stable “home base” urn from cremation urns for ashes, and then adding keepsake urns later if adult children want small portions. If you want ideas that don’t feel like a list of “shoulds,” Funeral.com’s guide What to Do With Cremation Ashes walks through meaningful options with a calm tone that respects different beliefs and budgets.

For some families, the “keep them close” impulse shows up as jewelry. Cremation jewelry is designed to hold a very small portion, and it can be a comforting bridge between private grief and daily life. If you’re considering this path, Funeral.com’s Cremation Jewelry 101 explains what it is, how it works, and who it tends to fit best. When you’re ready to browse, the cremation necklaces collection and the cremation charms and pendants collection are good starting points for styles that range from subtle to more symbolic.

Water burial and other ceremonies that require extra coordination

Some families know they want the final moment to happen in a specific place: on the ocean, on a lake, near a family cabin, or somewhere that feels like the person. When that plan involves water burial or scattering at sea, there are real rules to follow, and this is a place where a coordinator can save you stress.

In U.S. ocean waters, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) explains that you must notify the EPA within 30 days after a burial at sea conducted under the general permit, and that the permit does not require prior application. Funeral.com’s guide Water Burial Planning breaks this down in family-friendly language so you can focus on the ceremony, not on last-minute compliance worries.

How to choose a planner or concierge you can trust

The best planners don’t take control away from families. They give control back by making the process clearer. When you’re evaluating a service, look for someone who is comfortable with transparency and boundaries. You want a person who can manage details without pressuring you emotionally.

• Ask what they do versus what the funeral home does, so roles are clear from day one.
• Ask how they price services (hourly, flat fee, package) and what is included.
• Ask how they handle vendor recommendations and whether there are referral fees.
• Ask how they communicate with family members and how decisions get documented.
• Ask how they help you compare costs, including how they use itemized pricing like the GPL.
• Ask what they do when family members disagree, and how they keep things respectful.

If your planning includes choosing an urn, it also helps to work with someone who understands the practical details: capacity, placement, sharing plans, and what makes a “for now” plan feel safe. Funeral.com’s guide on how to choose a cremation urn is a solid reference if you want to feel informed before any purchase conversations happen.

FAQs

If you’re deciding whether to hire help, you don’t need a perfect answer. You need an honest one. If planning feels manageable and your family communication is steady, you may be fine with the support you already have. But if your situation is complex, time-sensitive, long-distance, or emotionally charged, paying for funeral planning assistance can be one of the most compassionate decisions you make for yourself and for the people you love.