Choosing Between a Church Funeral and a Nonreligious Venue: Questions to Consider

Choosing Between a Church Funeral and a Nonreligious Venue: Questions to Consider


When someone you love dies, decisions about funeral planning seem to arrive all at once: burial or cremation, simple or elaborate, public or private. Somewhere in the middle of all of that is another deeply personal choice: Where should the service be held?

For some families, a church or other house of worship feels like the obvious setting. For others, a funeral home chapel, community center, restaurant, or park feels closer to the way their person actually lived. Many families are somewhere in between, trying to honor faith and family expectations while also creating a gathering that feels authentic and manageable in terms of cost.

This guide walks through how modern cremation trends shape venue choices, the quiet advantages and challenges of a church funeral, what nonreligious funeral locations can offer, and the questions that can help you choose a place that genuinely fits your loved one’s life and your family’s needs.

How Cremation Trends Are Changing Venue Choices

A generation ago, many families assumed a traditional sequence: viewing at a funeral home, service in a church, and burial in a cemetery. Today, more people are choosing cremation, which opens up more options for what to do with ashes and where to gather.

According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the projected U.S. cremation rate for 2025 is about 63.4%, while burial is expected to be around 31.6%. The same NFDA data notes that the national median cost of a funeral with a viewing and burial in 2023 was $8,300, compared with $6,280 for a funeral with cremation. Those numbers influence not only how much cremation costs in your mind, but also how you think about budget for venues, receptions, and travel.

Research from the Cremation Association of North America suggests that about one in four U.S. households has human cremated remains at home. That means many families are not just choosing cremation; they are also choosing keeping ashes at home for a time, scattering later, or planning a water burial or other memorial ceremony at a meaningful place.

Because cremation is flexible, the service does not have to be tied to the schedule of a cemetery plot. Some families hold a traditional church funeral with an urn at the front and then a private scattering months later. Others schedule a gathering at a park, beach, or community center, using a favorite design from a collection of cremation urns for ashes as a focal point. Guides like Funeral.com’s article Cremation Urns, Pet Urns, and Cremation Jewelry: A Gentle Guide to Keeping Ashes Close explain how cremation urns, small cremation urns, keepsake urns, and cremation jewelry can all work together when there is no single “right” place to gather or remember.

What a Church Funeral Can Offer

For many people, a church funeral is more than a location. It carries decades of memories—weddings, baptisms, holidays, weekly services—and it embodies beliefs about death, hope, and the afterlife. If the person who died identified strongly with a particular faith, being in that sanctuary can feel like an honest reflection of who they were.

Spiritual and emotional familiarity

A church or other house of worship often offers a kind of emotional shorthand. The architecture, stained glass, music, and rituals do some of the talking for you. Scripture readings, prayers, and hymns give people familiar words when their own are hard to find. For relatives who equate “proper respect” with a church service, the setting itself may ease anxiety.

In some families, family expectations about religious services are intense. Parents or grandparents might insist that “we have to do it at church.” If the person who died shared that conviction, honoring it can bring peace to everyone involved. If they were more mixed in their beliefs, you may still decide that the familiarity and support a congregation offers outweighs the limits.

Cremation does not rule out a church service. Many congregations now welcome funerals where an urn is present rather than a casket. You might place a classic metal or wood urn from Funeral.com’s Cremation Urns for Ashes collection on a stand near the altar, surround it with flowers and photographs, or use a small tray of keepsake urns for close family members who will take one home afterward.

Practical considerations in a church setting

Even when a church feels spiritually right, it is worth asking practical questions. Some congregations are very flexible about music, slideshows, and personal tributes; others have firm guidelines. You might want favorite secular songs, an open-mic sharing time, or a video montage. In some parishes that is welcomed; in others, it may need to be kept brief or held for a reception afterward.

This is where talking to clergy about flexible services matters. You can schedule a short meeting, explain that your family hopes to blend traditional prayers with elements of a celebration of life venue, and ask what is possible. It can help to be specific: perhaps you’d like one hymn, a short homily, and then time for three family eulogies, or you’d like to incorporate a poem about the sea because you are planning a future water burial.

If you plan to display cremation jewelry or cremation necklaces alongside the urn, or to place a beloved dog’s or cat’s pet urns for ashes on a side table, mention this as well. Funeral.com’s guide Cremation Jewelry 101: What It Is, How It’s Made, and Who It’s Right For explains how these pieces are simply another form of memorial, holding a small portion of ashes in a discreet pendant or bracelet.

What a Nonreligious Venue Makes Possible

On the other side of the spectrum, nonreligious funeral locations—funeral home chapels, community centers, restaurants, backyards, and outdoor spaces—can feel more natural for families who are secular, spiritual-but-not-religious, or divided in their beliefs.

Flexibility and personalization

A funeral home chapel vs church comparison often comes down to flexibility. Funeral homes are used to hosting both religious and nonreligious services and can adapt to a wide range of preferences. You might invite a celebrant or close friend to lead the ceremony, mix secular readings with a single prayer, or build the gathering around stories, music, and a slideshow rather than formal liturgy.

A chapel or rented hall also makes it easier to design the space around the person’s daily life. For someone who loved books and coffee, you might create a memory table with stacked novels, a favorite mug, and a gently lit display of cremation urns for ashes from collections like Funeral.com’s full-size urns or artistic glass urns. For a person who was devoted to their dog, you might place a beautifully crafted pet cremation urn from the Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes collection beside a leash or collar, so the bond is visible to everyone present.

Because you are not working within the structure of a liturgy, you can decide how long the service will be, how interactive it should feel, and how formal or casual the dress code is. Families sometimes describe these gatherings as feeling more like a storytelling circle than a traditional funeral, while still offering the same emotional support.

Outdoor celebrations of life

An outdoor celebration of life—at a park, beach, backyard, or lakeside cabin—can be especially meaningful when the person who died loved fresh air and open spaces. You might schedule the gathering around a sunset, a favorite trail, or a picnic shelter where people can linger. For families planning future scattering or water burial, meeting in a natural setting can make the eventual farewell feel more organic.

Cremation memorialization trends show that a significant number of families now choose scattering as part of their plan. One analysis of data from the Cremation Association of North America notes that roughly 39% of people who are cremated have their ashes scattered, often at a location that held special meaning. Outdoor venues can be the first chapter in that story, even if the actual scattering happens months later.

In these settings, you can still create a central place of focus—a table with the urn, framed photos, flowers, and perhaps small cremation urns or keepsake urns that will later be taken home. Funeral.com’s article How to Choose a Cremation Urn That Actually Fits Your Plans (Home, Burial, Scattering, Travel) walks through how to pick urns that are suitable for travel, scattering, home display, or future burial, which can be helpful when your venue is a park or shoreline rather than a chapel.

Questions About Faith, Family, and Expectations

Choosing between a church ceremony and another venue is rarely just about buildings. It is often about faith, spiritual questions, and the emotional weight of traditions.

Funeral.com’s guide Faith, Spirituality, and Doubt in Grief: When Beliefs Are Comforting and When They Are Challenged describes how spiritual questions tend to intensify when cremation and memorial decisions come up together. Some people feel strongly that a funeral must happen in a sacred space, while others find it easier to talk about death in a living room, park, or neutral chapel.

It may help to ask a few quiet questions, either alone or with siblings and close friends. What did the person who died say about faith, if anything, in their last years? When you picture them, do you imagine them in a pew, under a tree, at a kitchen table, or somewhere else? Who in the family will feel deeply comforted by a church setting, and who might feel excluded or anxious there? Is there a way to honor the most important traditions in a shorter church service, then continue with a more relaxed gathering at home or at a favorite venue?

If conflict is brewing around these questions, reading together from resources like Cremation FAQs: Honest Answers to the Questions Families Ask Most or How to Choose a Funeral Home: Questions to Ask, Red Flags, and Comparing Local Options can shift the conversation from “who is right” to “what will help us grieve and remember well.”

Understanding Cost Differences Between Venues

Money is not the most important part of a funeral, but it is a real concern for many families. Venue decisions and budget usually influence each other.

NFDA’s statistics page notes that the national median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial in 2023 was $8,300, while a comparable funeral with cremation was $6,280. That difference can free up some funds for venue fees, reception costs, or travel for out-of-town relatives. At the same time, some churches expect an honorarium for clergy and musicians, while funeral homes may include chapel use in a package. Parks and community venues might require permits, security deposits, or rental of tents and audio equipment.

Funeral.com’s article How Much Does Cremation Cost? Average Prices and Budget-Friendly Options breaks down typical price ranges for direct cremation, cremation with a full service, and smaller memorials. It also explains how choices like using your own cremation urns from collections such as Cremation Urns for Ashes or relying more on keepsake urns and cremation jewelry can shape the total without sacrificing meaning.

It is okay to ask very practical questions when you speak with clergy or a funeral director. You can ask what is included in the venue fee, whether there is a lower-cost option for a shorter weekday service, and whether you can provide your own programs, flowers, or urns. Funeral.com’s broader guide How Much Does a Funeral Cost? Complete Funeral Price Breakdown and Ways to Save offers language you can use to have those conversations without feeling impolite.

Ashes, Urns, and How Venue Affects Memorial Plans

If you have chosen cremation, venue decisions will naturally overlap with your long-term plans for the ashes. Some families plan to keep a full-size urn at home indefinitely. Others intend to scatter, bury, or place the urn in a columbarium niche after a period of time.

Funeral.com’s gentle overview Cremation Urns, Pet Urns, and Cremation Jewelry: A Gentle Guide to Keeping Ashes Close notes that even when scattering or water burial is part of the plan, many families keep a small portion of ashes in keepsake urns, small cremation urns, or cremation necklaces so that several people can remain connected in a tangible way.

If you are thinking about keeping ashes at home, the venue might be a place to introduce that idea gently to relatives. A church funeral with an urn at the front can lead naturally into a home memorial afterward, decorated with candles, photos, and a carefully chosen urn from Funeral.com’s Cremation Urns for Ashes or Full Size Cremation Urns for Ashes collections. For smaller apartments or families who want to share ashes among several households, small cremation urns and cremation jewelry from the Cremation Jewelry and Cremation Necklaces collections can be more practical.

When pets are part of the story, it is common to keep their memory close at the same time. Funeral.com’s Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes collection includes classic box-style pet urns, sculpted pet cremation urns, and smaller designs that can sit on the same shelf as a person’s urn or on a separate “pet corner” of the home.

If your longer-term plan involves scattering or water burial, the venue might be where you share that plan with relatives and invite their input. Funeral.com’s guide Keeping Ashes at Home: How to Do It Safely, Respectfully, and Legally and the overview Understanding What Happens During a Water Burial Ceremony can help you feel confident that your choices are both meaningful and compliant with local rules.

Blending Religious and Secular Elements, Wherever You Gather

In practice, many families create something that does not fit neatly into “church funeral” or “nonreligious celebration of life venue.” You might have a priest or pastor offer a blessing over the urn at the beginning of a service in a funeral home chapel. You might welcome a moment of silent prayer in the middle of a very secular gathering at a park. You might play one favorite hymn alongside a playlist of the person’s everyday songs.

The goal is not to get the labels right; it is to choose words, symbols, and settings that feel true. A church sanctuary with a display of cremation urns for ashes, cremation necklaces, and photos can be just as personal as a backyard filled with lanterns and family-made food. A rented hall with a simple table of keepsake urns and a single candle can be as spiritually grounded as a traditional service—especially if the stories people tell feel honest and loving.

Articles like Cremation Urns, Pet Urns, and Cremation Jewelry: A Gentle Guide to Keeping Ashes Close and Best Funeral Poems and How They Fit with Cremation Urns, Ashes, and Everyday Grief even show how poetry and symbolism can quietly influence choices about urns, jewelry, and venues. A poem about the sea might nudge you toward water burial or a beachside gathering, while a poem about home might make keeping ashes at home feel more right than placing them in a distant cemetery.

Giving Yourself Permission to Choose What Fits

When you are grieving, it can feel like everyone around you has an opinion about what you “should” do: which venue, how religious, how formal, how soon. It’s easy to get caught between a church funeral vs celebration of life venue, between honoring older relatives’ values and honoring the way your person actually lived.

You are allowed to pause and remember that the purpose of a funeral, wherever it is held, is to honor a life and support the living. You can lean on resources like Funeral.com’s guides to cremation urns, pet urns for ashes, cremation jewelry, and how much does cremation cost, along with venue-neutral pieces like How to Choose a Funeral Home and Faith, Spirituality, and Doubt in Grief, to make choices that balance head and heart.

Whether you gather in a church, a funeral home chapel, a community hall, or under open sky, you can still weave in meaningful symbols—an urn chosen with care, a cremation necklace worn close to the heart, a small pet cremation urn set beside a photo of a beloved animal, a reading that captures how this person moved through the world. There is no single correct answer, only the combination that feels like love.