In the older Irish imagination, a wake was never only a night beside the dead. It was a threshold moment—part grief, part guarding, part community care—when neighbors crossed the road and came in without needing to be asked. A fire might be lit. Stories would start softly, then gather strength. Someone would pour tea, someone else would open the door again and again as more people arrived. In that room, sorrow and love weren’t private possessions. They were carried together.
Today, many families are planning with different realities in mind: cremation is now the majority disposition in the United States, and more families are making choices about ashes, urns, and what a memorial should look like in daily life. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the U.S. cremation rate is projected at 63.4% for 2025 and is expected to keep rising long-term. The Cremation Association of North America similarly reports a 2024 U.S. cremation rate of 61.8%, with continued growth projected over the coming years.
So why begin with Celtic wakes?
Because wakes—especially the old ones—teach something modern families still need: grief is not a task to complete. It is a relationship to carry. And the choices families make now—about cremation urns, keepsake urns, cremation jewelry, and funeral planning—often make the most sense when they’re understood as tools for community, memory, and ongoing connection, not just logistics.
What a wake was really for
The traditional Irish wake gathered people in the raw hours after a death, when the world feels rearranged and the simplest decisions can feel impossible. Wakes served practical needs—watching the body, supporting the household, feeding visitors—but they also served a deeper one: they gave grief a social container. A family didn’t have to “be strong” alone. The community arrived and stayed.
Folklore and cultural history sources describe wake customs as both solemn and alive—marked by prayer and storytelling, food and conversation, a steady stream of visitors, and a sense that the dead were being accompanied rather than abandoned. The Irish Wake Museum at Waterford Treasures frames the wake as a long-running tradition shaped by superstition, faith, and communal ritual across centuries.
That same impulse—accompanying, witnessing, staying close—shows up in how modern families handle cremation. Ashes often return home in a temporary container, and the first question becomes quietly urgent: what to do with ashes? Many people don’t want a rushed answer. They want something that can hold time.
Keening and the language of lament
If there is one wake element that still echoes in people’s minds, it’s keening—caoineadh—a form of vocal lament that hovered between crying and singing. Keening wasn’t “performative” in the modern, suspicious sense. It was a culturally recognized way to give grief sound, structure, and permission. It allowed the pain to be expressed in a shared language when ordinary speech failed.
Scholars note that women often held a central place in these rituals, and that keening had both emotional and social power—naming the loss, praising the dead, and guiding the community through a liminal time. An academic discussion of keening in Irish death ritual appears in MDPI’s Religions journal, which describes keening women as long-standing figures in the wake landscape and explores how the practice functioned within vernacular religious life.
Not every family today wants a sung lament. But many still look for a way to “give grief a voice”—a reading, a playlist, a prayer, a story told with shaking hands. In that sense, the heart of keening remains familiar: it’s not about aesthetics. It’s about release, witness, and love.
Why games and laughter belonged in the room
One detail outsiders often misunderstand is the presence of laughter at wakes. Stories, teasing, even wake games could exist alongside tears. This wasn’t disrespect. It was a kind of communal truth-telling: the person who died had lived, and their life included humor, mischief, and ordinary warmth. A wake made room for the full human being, not only the tragedy of their absence.
In many descriptions of Irish wakes, games served another purpose too: they kept people awake through the night and kept the household surrounded by company. They also lowered the fear in the room. When death is near, the nervous system looks for ways to breathe. A shared laugh can be a way to survive the hours.
Modern memorial gatherings still follow this rhythm more than people realize. Families may begin with formal words, then drift into stories in the kitchen. Someone will say, “Do you remember when…?” and the room will soften. That isn’t moving on. That is staying connected.
How modern Irish wakes evolved while the core remained
Irish wake traditions changed over time—shaped by urban life, changing religious practice, and shifting social norms. Many contemporary wakes are held in funeral homes rather than homes, and timelines can be shorter. But the core function often remains: to gather people around the bereaved and make mourning less lonely.
That continuity is part of why wake traditions still matter to families with Irish roots—and to anyone looking for a steady way to grieve. The outer form changes. The inner need stays.
What wake traditions can teach modern families choosing cremation
When families choose cremation, they often gain flexibility—and also inherit new decisions. Unlike a burial that quickly creates a “place,” cremation can create a pause: ashes can be kept, divided, scattered, buried, or placed in a niche. That openness can feel like freedom, or it can feel like one more thing to get wrong.
It may help to think like the wake: you don’t need one perfect gesture that solves grief. You need a plan that supports the living, honors the dead, and allows time to do its slow work.
That’s why many families start by learning their options, then choosing one “home base” decision first—often a primary urn—before deciding about scattering, sharing, or jewelry.
Choosing cremation urns with less pressure and more clarity
The phrase cremation urns for ashes sounds straightforward until you’re the one choosing. What families usually want is reassurance: that the urn is the right size, that it feels like the person, and that it will fit the plan—home display, burial, a niche, or later scattering.
If you’re beginning gently, Funeral.com’s Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is a practical place to compare styles and materials without needing to decide everything at once. Some families know they want a full-size centerpiece. Others want something smaller, simpler, or more discreet.
For families planning to share portions, live in a smaller space, or create a second memorial location, small cremation urns can be a relief. Funeral.com’s Small Cremation Urns for Ashes collection describes these as generally under 28 cubic inches—often used for meaningful portions that are still “urn-sized,” just with a smaller footprint.
When families want several tiny tributes—one for each sibling, or one for a child who needs closeness—keepsake urns can make space for different grief styles in the same family. The Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes collection is designed for that kind of sharing, where each person can hold a small portion in a dignified way.
- Choose the “home base” first: where will most of the ashes rest, at least for now?
- Decide whether sharing is part of your family’s story: keepsakes can reduce conflict by making room for multiple mourners.
- Match the urn to the plan: home display, niche placement, burial requirements, or future scattering can point you toward certain materials and closures.
- Give yourself time: many families make a first decision now and a long-term decision later—and that is completely normal.
If you want a calm walkthrough of choices families actually make when they’re overwhelmed, Funeral.com’s guide What to Do With a Loved One’s Ashes can help you compare paths without pressure.
When the loss is a pet: love that lived in the everyday
Pet grief can feel uniquely sharp because the relationship was woven into daily routine—doorways, walks, feeding time, the quiet companionship that doesn’t ask for words. Families often search for pet urns for ashes because they want something that feels like their companion, not something generic.
Funeral.com’s Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes collection gathers a wide range of styles—traditional urn shapes, decorative options, and memorial designs that feel more personal. If the idea of a figurine feels comforting, the Pet Figurine Cremation Urns for Ashes collection offers sculptural tributes that blend remembrance with display.
And if your family wants to share a small portion—especially in households where multiple people were deeply attached—Pet Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes can allow more than one person to carry a tangible piece of remembrance.
For a compassionate, practical walkthrough, Funeral.com’s article Pet Urns for Ashes: A Complete Guide for Dog and Cat Owners explains sizing, styles, and how to choose something that truly feels like them.
Cremation jewelry and keepsakes: carrying connection into ordinary days
Some grief doesn’t stay in one place. People go back to work, back to school pickup, back to errands—and still feel the absence in their chest. That’s one reason cremation jewelry has become so meaningful for many families. It isn’t a trend so much as a portable form of closeness.
If you’re exploring options, Funeral.com’s Cremation Jewelry collection includes pieces designed to hold a small portion of ashes. Many families also search specifically for cremation necklaces, and the Cremation Necklaces collection can help you compare styles meant for daily wear.
For a clearer sense of the landscape—urn pendants, rings, ashes-in-glass, and what “sealed” really means—Funeral.com’s guide Cremation Jewelry Options lays out choices in a grounded way, so you can choose what fits your life rather than what looks good in a photo.
Keeping ashes at home: comfort, safety, and long-term planning
Keeping ashes at home is often chosen for a simple reason: it makes grief feel less like sudden exile. A quiet shelf with an urn, a photo, and a candle can act like the old wake’s hearth—an anchor point where remembrance is allowed to live in the everyday.
Families do, however, tend to have the same practical questions: Is it safe? Is it allowed? What about kids, pets, guests, or moving homes? Funeral.com’s guide Keeping Ashes at Home walks through those concerns with clear, respectful guidance.
Many families also choose a “both/and” plan: some ashes kept at home for now, some placed later in a cemetery, and small portions shared via keepsakes or jewelry. That approach can honor different mourners in the same family—very much in the spirit of the wake, where many forms of love occupied the same room.
Water burial, scattering, and returning to the elements
For some people, water feels like the most honest place to say goodbye. Families searching for water burial options often want a ceremony that feels natural and gentle—especially when the person loved the ocean, lakes, fishing, sailing, or simply the calm of open water.
In U.S. ocean waters, burial-at-sea rules matter. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency explains that the general permit for burial at sea requires human remains to be placed at least three nautical miles from shore and notes that non-human remains (including pets) are not allowed under that permit. For families trying to translate that into real planning, Funeral.com’s guide Water Burial and Burial at Sea: What “3 Nautical Miles” Means offers plain-language help.
There are also ceremonial choices within water burials—such as biodegradable urns designed to float briefly before sinking, or urns designed to sink right away. Funeral.com’s guide Biodegradable Water Urns for Ashes explains these options and what they tend to feel like in the moment.
Costs and funeral planning: making room for love and budget
When families ask how much does cremation cost, they’re often trying to steady themselves: to understand what’s required, what’s optional, and how to make decisions without regret. Cost is part of care—not because love has a price tag, but because financial stress can deepen grief.
NFDA’s reporting is a useful benchmark for national medians. In its 2023 General Price List Study news release, the National Funeral Directors Association states that the national median cost of a funeral with cremation in 2023 was $6,280 and the median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial was $8,300. Those numbers won’t match every region, but they can help families ask better questions.
If you want a detailed, current breakdown—including why quotes can vary so widely—Funeral.com’s How Much Does Cremation Cost in the U.S.? (2025 Guide) walks through direct cremation vs. full-service options, common fees, and practical ways to keep costs manageable without cutting corners on care.
And this is where memorial choices fit naturally into funeral planning. A family may choose a simple cremation arrangement now, then plan a gathering later. Or they may choose a small service now and a scattering ceremony later. In wake terms, the “ritual” doesn’t have to be one night. It can be a season of remembrance that unfolds as the family is ready.
Bringing it together: a modern plan with an old heart
If Celtic wake traditions teach anything enduring, it’s this: grief needs witnesses, and love needs forms. The wake created a shared space where the community carried the family—through prayer, through stories, through silence, through laughter that arrived like breath. Modern families may choose cremation, may keep ashes at home, may plan a water farewell, may share keepsakes among siblings. Different tools. The same human need.
If you’re standing in that liminal place now—trying to decide on cremation urns, pet urns, pet cremation urns, a few keepsake urns, or a piece of cremation jewelry—you don’t have to solve everything in one day. Start with what brings steadiness. Choose one “home base” decision, then let the rest follow as your family finds its footing.
And when you need a gentle map, Funeral.com’s collections and guides can support you without rushing you: Cremation Urns for Ashes, Small Cremation Urns for Ashes, Keepsake Cremation Urns for Ashes, Cremation Jewelry, and Pet Cremation Urns for Ashes—alongside practical reading like What to Do With a Loved One’s Ashes and Keeping Ashes at Home.
The wake reminds us that the goal isn’t to “get through it” correctly. The goal is to be held, to remember, and to carry love forward in a way that your life can sustain.
