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Helping Children Cope with Loss

Children are resilient by nature, and within supportive family and community systems they successfully negotiate all types of challenging

Situations. However, we all experience circumstances in our lives that are more complex than others, situations when we could use some additional support and resources to help us through the difficult times. The following are suggestions to help children going through experiences grief, loss, and/or transition.

Children do about as well as the grown-ups in their lives. Therefore, the first and most important factor is to consistently take care of yourself (on all levels) so you may serve as a role model, and truly be available to your children during the difficult times. Both you and your children should:

· Get plenty of rest;
· Eat regular, nutritious meals;
· Drink water, water, and more water;
· Exercise, play, and have fun together regularly;
· Surround yourself with good friends, good music, and good stories;
· Regularly do things that are fun, healthy, relaxing and pleasurable;
· Draw from your faith, traditions, and culture;
· Limit your exposure to “bad news”- turn OFF the TV;
·Keep routines, but remain flexible as different needs arise;
· Focus on what you can do- things within your control- and take care of them;
· Keep your sense of humor…

Honestly and directly address concerns of children. Do you want them to get the information from overheard telephone conversations, from the media, or from other kids on the playground? You are the greatest resource:

· Listen.   Listen.   Listen some more.
· Answer the questions they ask, even the difficult ones.
· Never lie to a child.
· Go at their pace and use language that they will understand.
· Offer multiple ways for them to express their experience. Talking, drawing, music, movement, play, interacting with peers, time spent with friends, family, and pets as well as “alone time” are all models of healing.
· Physical activities help them relieve stress. For children, Play = healing.
· Children of different ages and development stages will respond differently. Expect and accept a wide range of common reactions.
· Bedtime, school time, and other times of separation may be difficult. Make a plan together to best address these situations.
· Routines can be especially stabilizing, yet be open to necessary changes in responsibilities during times of transition.
· Reassure and actively show them they are loved and that they will be taken care of. Physical contact is often comforting to a child.
· If it is not too big for you, it will not be too big for them.

More Coping With Loss Articles

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Tips for Coping With the Loss of a Pet

Losing a pet can be one of the hardest things to go through. For many, pets are parts of the family, much like people. Here are some tips to help cope with the loss of a four-legged friend.

ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO GRIEVE
Grieving is a natural way to help your mind and body heal from a loss. Allow yourself the time to reflect, cry or express your loss; it will make you feel much better faster. Many people find solace in writing down thoughts and feelings on paper – don’t be afraid to try. Grieving is natural, healthy and an important step in the healing process.

ACCEPT HELP FROM OTHERS
Let friends and family into your heart to help ease the pain that you are feeling. Ask for help – people often don’t know what to do or say when a close friend or family member loses a pet. But asking for help brings people to you; it will make them feel better as well as make you feel better. Reach out to others in similar situations; again, you both will feel better.

SET UP A MEMORIAL TO HONOR YOUR LOSS
Memorials and dedications honor your pets and help you to remember them in a way that fits you best. Some people memorialize pets by using photographs or doing things like dedicating a special tree in their honor. Others make donations to local animal welfare groups like the Humane Society.
Make a memorial that feels right for you and honors your pet.

TRUST YOURSELF THAT YOU WILL HEAL
Don’t give up hope, time is the best healer. Even when you don’t know how you will get over your loss, you will discover strengths in yourself that you never knew you had. Take one day at a time and you will get there. Healing will take time and effort, but it always happens.

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Pet Loss and the Elderly: How to Help Seniors Overcome the Death of a Pet

Elderly people tend to become very attached to their pets. In some cases, this has to do with the fact that they have had the pet for a number of years; in others, it is about the fact that the pet has become a companion in their life. Therefore, when the death of a pet occurs, it can be as devastating to anyone — but particularly an elderly person — as a human loss. After all, the pet served as a friend, protector and sometimes, a guide.

Helping seniors overcome such a loss usually starts with the proper method of pet memorial. Once someone has gotten so attached to their pet, they cannot just bury their friend and move on. Older people usually want to mark the occasion with a pet memorial of some sort.

Since most pets are buried, usually in the yard of the home in which they live or in a cemetery set up exclusively for pets, a pet grave marker is a good place to start. A pet grave marker not only gives you a place to come visit your pet, but it also announces to the world that your cat, dog, bird or another animal made someone’s time on this Earth a more pleasant place to live.

There are many other ways, including pet urns and online pet memorials, to remember a pet. Since seniors are not usually well-versed in online products and services, it is important to have a family member or friend assist with finding a pet memorial website.

In this time of grief, it is also important to offer as much support as possible to an elderly person who has just lost a pet. After all, many years with a pet breeds a certain type of deep attachment making the loss just that much more profound. Don’t attempt to replace the animal right away and offer to accompany your loved one to a pet support group. You might also take them to visit the pet grave marker in the place where their beloved pet is buried and encourage them to take as long as they need to in order to properly heal.

A relationship with a pet is a lifelong one, full of ups and downs. You can’t rush the grieving process after the loss of a pet any more than you can when the deceased is a human being. Offering support and proposing ways to memorialize your pet is a great start to remembering the life you shared.

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How To Cope With Grief and Loss Through Grief Counseling and Life Coaching

Some of the Most Common Ways to Cope With Grief and Loss are Grief Counseling and Life Coaching

What is Grief?

Grief is a human way to deal with the feelings of love that we believe have ended.  Another way of defining grief is the normal and natural reaction to significant emotional loss of any kind.

There is no one way to grieve. As we all are individual, we all grieve different and often turn towards grief groups. Also, our society at large does not have a general way to honor grief. Since we are a society that is always struggling with time management and high demands, taking time to grieve or knowing how to grieve is not part of our system. However, religion often fills this gap in our society.

Each religion has rituals to follow for grief and how to grieve a loss. These rituals can provide us with a way to get through the initial shock of grief, but as many people know who have been through a loss, that when the rituals of religion end there is still grief and the adjustment of loss with which to deal.

There are many incorrect ideas about grief such as: “time will heal” or the “Five Stages of Grief”. These are only two of the many “myths about grief” that we are taught to believe and can actually prevent us from moving beyond our pain.

How Can Grief Counseling Help?

Funeral Directors wear numerous hats, and are expected to accomplish many important things in a short period of time, while facing many funeral planning challenges. Families are grieving and have important decisions to make under much duress. They may often expect a degree of emotional support that some Funeral Directors may not have the time or skills to be able to provide.

Through grief counseling and working with a Life Coach, these added levels of emotional support and expertise can very often help families bridge and offer the help that most families are searching for.

Five Powerful Ways a Life Coach Can Help Families:

1.  Offer the key support needed to get through this sorrowful time.
2.  Help families develop a short term, “what’s next”, plan for their lives.
3.  Help families establish new or revised long term life goals pertaining to work, school, relationships, hobbies and general wellness.
4.  Provide families with hope, motivation and direction to take control of their lives in the new role that they inherited as a result of their loss.
5.  A life coach is someone who listens, since sometimes that is what is most needed in a time of sorrow and confusion.

Grief Counseling is one of the fastest growing trends in self improvement, wellness and life in general. By offering this level of grief support and Life Coaching services; you are keeping your business relevant, and fulfilling your potential to better serve your families.

Coaching is not therapy or counseling. A therapist would be recommended if your client is particularly overwhelmed and unable to cope with their grief.  Another popular and healing option is to consider using grief message boards.

What is a Grief Recovery Outreach Program?

If you have experienced one or more losses, and you wish to move beyond the pain, this type of program offers step by step actions that will help you overcome your grief. It is the only program of its kind and has helped thousands of people worldwide recover from their heartbreak.

In summary, there are many ways to work through things like grief, loss, or even a crisis. There is help available to those who are grieving a loss, and we strongly suggest you look into seeking professional help through some of these excellent options.

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